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MIL never wants to visit us but she expects us there twice a week!

3 replies

RHorne · 01/02/2020 05:58

My mother in-law is generous. She got me a car when mine got broken into when I was 9 months pregnant. I like her but lately I feel like I should reduce how much I see her. My Daughter is 6 months since her first week we have been going to her house twice a week on my partner's day of work and again at the weekend.

She has a 17 year old dog that she never wash like ever and sheds hair like crazy, there's dog hairs all over the house the carpet etc dog jump on sofa so there's hair there and dog is allowed in every room as she says it's the dog's house. Every time my daughter's pacifier falls it catches the dog hair and she put it back in her mouth which drives me crazy I have to carry daughter every time am there she asks me to put daughter down for her to roll on floor and I get my partner to say no because of dog hairs.

I spoke to my partner about cutting my visits to once a every fortnight, she complained to her son she won't get to see daughter enough, I don't speak to my own mother and bonded with in-laws during pregnancy I do however go to my mothers to see my siblings sent inlaw a picture of my brother and daughter and she responded with I can see you're spending more time there no pet hairs, mind you I was at her house 6 days earlier. My partner agrees I can cut back but I know she is going to be a problem I tried inviting her over for a few hours she said she can't because she needs to feed dog. She's already complaining she hasn't seen daughter enough this week What do I do??

OP posts:
RHorne · 01/02/2020 06:10

â—¦ My mother in-law is generous. She got me a car when mine got broken into when I was 9 months pregnant. I like her but lately I feel like I should reduce how much I see her. My Daughter is 6 months since her first week we have been going to her house twice a week on my partner's day of work and again at the weekend.

◦	She has a 17 year old dog that she never wash like ever and sheds hair like crazy, there's dog hairs all over the house the carpet etc dog jump on sofa so there's hair there and dog is allowed in every room, she lets dog eat of her plates as she says it's the dog's house, caught her letting dog lick her hand and then she put that same hand in daughter’s mouth to suck on. Every time my daughter's pacifier falls it catches the dog hair and she put it back in her mouth which drives me crazy I have to carry daughter every time am there she asks me to put daughter down for her to roll on floor and I get my partner to say no because of dog hairs.

â—¦	I spoke to my partner about cutting my visits to once a every fortnight, she complained to her son she won't get to see daughter enough, I don't speak to my own mother and bonded with in-laws during pregnancy I do however go to my mothers to see my siblings sent inlaw a picture of my brother and daughter and she responded with I can see you're spending more time there no pet hairs, mind you I was at her house 6 days earlier. My partner agrees I can cut back but I know she is going to be a problem I tried inviting her over for a few hours she said she can't because she needs to feed dog. She's already complaining she hasn't seen daughter enough this week What do I do??
OP posts:
PerkyPomPoms · 01/02/2020 06:19

Invite her to yours one week and visit her the next

blackcat86 · 01/02/2020 06:21

Start being busier. Get out to pre-booked baby classes and make playdates with other mums. Stress how important it is for baby to spend time with their peers to develop. I got in a stupid routine of ending up seeing my parents weekly and PIL weekly /twice weekly in the early days of mat leave and I really resented it. I had no time to do anything else and they were a PITA. I started declining with no sorry we have x (baby sign, swimming, singing etc) but inviting them to come along and observe the class or meet us somewhere baby friendly. They always decline with their own social plans which makes me feel less guilty because non are elderly and if they were that desperate to see DD they would get involved in the things she likes. They still see her really regularly (1-2 weekly) but it's less visits that involve several hours of sitting with me struggling to contain a baby/toddler (now 17 months).

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