POSSIBLE TW - I had the most horrible dream last night

[FordPrefect42]

Hey,

Posting here for traffic mainly, I’m struggling to sleep tonight because of a horrible dream I had last night and not sure what to do, other than vocalise my thoughts here in the hopes that maybe someone understands.

Bit of context, my DM might be unwell, she’s being tested for some things but the big C hasn’t been ruled out. I would go NC with my father if he wasn’t still living with my DM as we have not got along for years - which is a long story - and I refer to him by his first name. He rarely speaks to me. I don’t even want to entertain the thought, but if my DM was no longer with us I’d cut off all ties and go and live alone somewhere, far away from anyone who knows me. I know exactly where I’d go and what I’d do, too...

So within this dream, I was on a night out down the local pub with some mates, chatting along until one of them mentions that I appear to have been shot in the head. However, somehow I am still very much alive and conscious, chatting away to everyone, having a laugh, all the while whilst looking down to notice there’s quite a bit of blood on my shirt.

At this point my friends started telling me that they thought I might die, but nobody was getting any medical attention for me?! They were all just saying I’d be missed so much and that they’d make my last night out with them the best one ever, and I hugged one of them and told him I loved him. I then saw two other friends sat in a corner (old friends too so no explanation there!) and tried really hard to get their attention but I felt weird, I was slurring my words and they wouldn’t acknowledge me at all, no eye contact or anything, and I felt everything I could see was becoming grey and cloudy. Then I fell over and this is the point at which I very abruptly woke up in a panic (this is how a lot of my dreams end, falling over and panicking!).

Obviously this has really shaken me up, I have been dealing with some rather horrible thoughts recently about whether or not I belong in this world and whether it’d be better off without me in it, and I wonder if this was trying to tell me something.

Someone talk me down and reassure me that I’m not going completely nuts, anyway?

[FordPrefect42]

Crikey that’s long sorry. And I have AS so can recall my dreams to a high degree of accuracy!

[OvenGlovesWillTearUsApart]

It could be symbolising your possible distant relocation once your mum dies. (I hope she’s not suffering too much.)

Death, rebirth, new life far away? It’s a huge change but maybe you will be ready soon.

Where are you thinking of going?

I fantasise about a little house in the Scottish highlands, far from anyone. I’m sure the reality of that would be quite harsh though.

[Shev1996]

I also have very vivid dreams since very young, but I’ve never known many of them to mean much, but have studied them a lot! Mainly because it fascinates me that most people I know don’t experience them in as much detail or as often. However if I’m very stressed out or worried they can be scarier or simply more odd. I wouldn’t over think this, you are worried about your mum and your life without her. This is just the brains unconscious interpretation, your life as you know it might end, possibly why a shot in the head in your dream whilst still feeling alive. If might just be interpreting you could have a major change ahead and life as you know it could stop, but restart afresh somewhere else

I do hope your mother recovers OP

[FordPrefect42]

@OvenGlovesWillTearUsApart thank you She’s doing good atm, we’re not sure what it is yet, I’m hoping if it’s anything bad it’s been detected soon enough.

Weirdly enough I’d go and live in a big city somewhere else in the UK, I’d want to be somewhere where I could blend in with society and go relatively unnoticed, but still continue with my studies, then hopefully get a good job, just out of the way of anywhere I’d lived previously. I like trains so somewhere where I could catch those and not have to drive would be great too.

It’s definitely something I’m prepared for, and reckon I could do if the circumstances fell into place.

[FordPrefect42]

Thank you @Shev1996, that is reassuring to hear, and makes a lot of sense

[OvenGlovesWillTearUsApart]

Anonymous in a big city sounds like a great idea. I hope you’re feeling better today OP. Hopefully your dreams last night were a bit more pleasant!

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

. Sorry your poor mum isn't well.
Death although it's a very traumatic thing to dream about usually symbolises a new beginning.

[FordPrefect42]

Thank you guys. I didn’t dream at all last night which I suppose can’t be a bad thing , and I am feeling a little better today.