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Original poster

Pregnant & he’s disappeared 🙄

19 replies

Tt98 · 01/02/2020 02:45

I was with a guy for a while then he cheated on me and got married then came back to me 4 months later selling me dreams saying he was going to divorce her etc and bad mouthing her.. they lived in different cities so when he was with me he was basically living with me..

He then decided to just leave me bc of a small incident that happened and basically acted like I never existed.. so I told his wife everything bc he thinks he can get away with anything and everything..

Then I found out I was pregnant and I told him and he doesn’t give a shit. All he cared about was the fact I told his wife that he’s a cheat and how I made him look like a dickhead..

& now he’s changed his number and left me pregnant with his child after he wanted the baby in the first place..

What do I do?

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 01/02/2020 02:49

How far along are you and do you want this baby? That's the starting point. You don't

He's a sick but you knew that when you kept sleeping with him. You knew he was married, and the shirt of guy to cheat on his wife. Did you really think it would end happily ever after?

Make the decision that's right for you. Out in a claim for CSA if you keep the baby but otherwise you need to accept this is it

Original poster

Tt98 · 01/02/2020 02:54

I’d say I’m about 8 weeks now and I’m 50:50 as to whether I want it or not.

He would tell me all the problems they were having in their marriage and how she had already asked him for a divorce, he was very believable and I loved him and honestly believed everything would work out in the end.

The sad thing is he wanted this baby more than anything and used to boast about how he would be the perfect dad and always be there for his child.

He even said I was lying about being pregnant, then I had to show him the pregnancy test but he doesn’t care atall

OP posts:

PatricksRum · 01/02/2020 03:42

Sorry OP but you were the other woman and now you're pregnant.

He's not going to come back. You need to decide if you want to keep the baby or not.

Interested in this thread?

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Relationship problems

Rainbowqueeen · 01/02/2020 03:56

Make the decision that’s right for you bearing in mind that there’s only a snowballs chance in hell that he will show any interest. He’ll. Probably also resist paying child support.

I think you can arrange to see a counsellor through your GP to hell you with your decision. Good luck

HoppingPavlova · 01/02/2020 03:58

So you were the OW and are now mystified as to how he is not a stellar guy doing the right thing by you. Righto.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/02/2020 04:16

He's a cheating dick op and nothing will change that. Decide if you want to be a single parent with an absent Dad. That's your answer. CSA claim if you go ahead cos he still needs to support baby but don't get back with him

Shev1996 · 01/02/2020 04:21

OP completely agree with other posters. Your question now is do you want a child? That’s the only question, he’s gone and if he does come back it will only ever be temporary and with no trust - not good for a child

Weffiepops · 01/02/2020 05:10

If you are desperate for a baby have it, if not motherhood is a really hard slog and you've got off to a bad start so I'd be tempted to abort. It would be an uphill struggle. It terms of him, wash your hands of him, he's no good and will bring you more suffering if you continue to engage

OddshoesOddsocks · 01/02/2020 05:11

Whatever you do, do NOT put him on the birth certificate! You can claim CSA from him without it and it will save you a world of problems should he decide to come back and be part of it one day.
9 years on its still my biggest regret that I put ex on dd1s after believing his lies and promises!

AlwaysCheddar · 01/02/2020 07:59

I’m sorry but he’s never going you be in your life and will be the liar he always has been, treated you like an idiot, laughing at you. I’d terminate the baby and walk away.

Orchardgreen · 01/02/2020 12:18

Is your user name an indicator of your age? If so, you are very young to contemplate being a single mother. I hate to sound like my mother but you have a whole life ahead of you.

Bluntness100 · 01/02/2020 12:22

Did you post about this man before?

You know he didn't cheat on you and get married, he was cheating on his fiancée. I think you need to accept this man does not wish to be with you, irrelevant of the child.

june2007 · 01/02/2020 12:25

Well sounds like you on your own now. But lots of people parent on their own. You made your bed now lie in it and be the best mum you can be. (Something good out of something bad.)

VodselForDinner · 01/02/2020 12:30

he cheated on me and got married

No, he was cheating with you. Quite disgustingly, he was having unprotected sex with you while he was sleeping with another woman.

What do I do?

Nobody can tell you that but, in your shoes, I’d do the following.

Block him on all and every platform.
Get an STI check.
Terminate the pregnancy.
Seek therapy to figure out why you believed this guy’s lies.

letmebefrank · 01/02/2020 12:58

If it was me, I'd terminate the pregnancy and never, ever have anything to do with him again. And have a long, long think about why I was so desperate/gullible to keep some arsehole who cheated on you, then cheated on his new wife with you.

Make some changes in your life...

DownWhichOfLate · 01/02/2020 13:13

You’re too young to have a baby.

TheDeep · 01/02/2020 13:19

How do you know OP is too young?

bushhbb · 01/02/2020 14:36

You’re too young to have a baby.

No it's not

RhymingRabbit3 · 01/02/2020 16:05

Were you trying to get pregnant?
To be honest he's shown you his true colours and you're lucky that you've found out now rather than in a few months when it would be too late. He isn't going to leave his wife for you. He isn't going to step up and be a good dad. Cut your losses now, have a termination and move on.

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