Help! ASD 13year old

[Justpeachy123]

My DS was diagnosed on the spectrum last year. Probably more Asperger's but seems to be all called ASD. I'm struggling to cope with his violent outburst, threats of self harm, him getting a kitchen knife to threaten me or himself, the police had to be call as it got so bad one time. He was seeing CAMHS but has decided to not go anymore, he refuses to go to school around once a week, has started skipping classes now too, because he feels he isn't getting support/help from the school. I'm a wreck, sometimes he is so lovely but other times he is so horrid. He is in mainstream school but there isn't much in place to help him even though we have tried over and over again. He mostly presents at school as nice and good so think we are not believed. I so anxious all the time and don't feel safe in my own home.... does anyone have any tips to help him, me,us??? Xx

Sounds very difficult. Is there any support from local autism charities or national autistic society? Maybe a group to help him to deal with his emotions and a group to help you with how you deal with him?
Also is there any indication of what triggers his anger? Is he particularly anxious about any aspect of his life? With school are there particular teachers or lessons he is avoiding?

I have one who is the same as you describe. A young adult now but back around 11yo they had outbursts like you describe. Their dev paed considered meds to be the best course of action and it was for them (and us). Much, much happier child. Was onwards and upwards from that point with schoolwork, sport, social life and general living.

Also I think you should ask for this to be moved to one of the SEN boards where there are very experienced posters.

Hoppingpavlova can I ask what meds? Obviously it is a last resort but he has just attacked me again throwing everything and anything at me and got a few sore ones in, he then packed a bag and ran away ( for all of 45 mins) but I was going out of my mind with worry when he came back he was still furious and throwing trainers at me. My husband is home now and my son is in his room. We weren't going to talk about it till he is properly calmed. We took his phone and computer off him, but dont feel that is enough to get through to him how serious this behaviour is, he also said he is going to take his anger out on the school, which is another worry. We tried support groups, but he shut down and refused to go. I dont know how to help him when he is refusing to engage. I know I'm failing him, I'm so low and not coping so arranging some counselling for myself.... any tips on how to deal with the aftermath of these attacks on me and the house? Appropriate consequences or should we do nothing?? We live in Scotland and although camhs were good, now my son isn't engaging I dont know how to help him, tips and suggestions welcome, I'm desperate xx

Sorry to hear things are so rough! While it obviously doesn't work for everyone, I've found CBD oil nothing short of a miracle with my 14yr old ASD son. Anxiety hugely reduced, meltdowns less frequent, shorter and less violent. I get what's on offer at Holland and Barrett, but there's a big range of products containing CBD available now. This, coupled with cutting out gluten as much as possible, and what I've always done in walking him miles a day to physically tire him out makes him considerably easier than his NT 11 year old sister to deal with. Good luck.

He was put on and is still on risperidone. So 10 years now. This is for the anger/aggression/irritability side of things. You need someone who really knows what they are doing with it with kids as if you get dosage wrong it’s an issue. Mine was sleepy when first put on it. Was great as they also never slept so they had a dose at night and within 5mins we’re out like a light. Then after about 6mths a morning dose was added as well but they had adjusted to it at that point so it didn’t make them sleepy of a day.

They are also on ADHD meds (Concerta), been on that for 13 years. They like this, it ‘organises’ their brain (in their words) and they can think properly. Without it, when younger, they would hit their head as they couldn’t think properly which frustrated them and also contributed to bad behaviours.

Getting the dosage right for these sorts of meds is key. The zombie stories are due to incorrect dosages. Also though, there will be an initial settling in period which you have to work through. Mine has had no weight gain or liver function issues from risperidone and no issues with ADHD meds. What they have gained though is being able to think clearly, do very well in school, get into a competitive challenging uni degree, be able to control their behaviour so that they have positive social interactions, be a valued part of sporting teams, have a hobby they enjoy, take part in community service etc. Without the risperidone they were looking to be kicked out of school (in grade 5), kicked off a sporting team when things came to a head and they attacked an opposing player and intolerable home life.

Also, not sure why you view medicines as a last resort? Would you let a child or adult go into a diabetic coma before giving insulin? The fact is we get one shot at life and what you describe above is not a good life for your son. It’s like depriving someone who can’t see properly of glasses.

Thank you for your advice, it means a lot.
I was obviously not wanting to do the medication route incase it had an adverse effect while his body and brain are developing. However I think we are at that stage. I will discuss with his child psychologist and see what they say. Also can you advise about the CBD? Is it the tablet or gummys?I hear the drops taste awful and doubt he would take that xx