14 yo Daughters too 'sexy' images on phone

[Pieinthesky24]

At Christmas time I found photos of my DD on her phone. A bit suggestive, ( very tight bra top, cleavage showing) so we had a chat about what's acceptable .
Looked at her instagram account a few weeks ago and found really provocative photos of her. Worse than before. Had the chat again.
She agreed it was over the top.

Yesterday, had a look at her photos.
Her and a friend dancing around friends house. Friend was in jeans and a top. DD in jeans and bra.
All fine to dance around acting sexy with a girlfriend. But it was filmed by DD and friend.
Lots of videos.
I'm not social media savvy enough I think.
Am I overreacting to be concerned?

It's the videoing of it and where that can lead to that worries me..
Thanks

OP are you suggesting that at 14 a child can be "sexy"?

Surely you just need to make sure your child is properly dressed and has enough clean clothes. I'm guessing she wasn't able to find any clean tops which is why she was forced to record those videos in just a bra and jeans.

I think you need to refrain from using the word "sexy" in reference to anything a child does, can you imagine the uproar that would be caused if a man ever referred to a 14 year old child as "sexy".

Obviously if it was your daughters 16th birthday it would be fine to use the word "sexy" as she would be above the age of consent. It's something to do with some amazing process which happens to people at midnight on the eve of their 16th birthday. A few seconds before midnight they are innocent children who are incapable of any independent thought and unable to take responsibility for any of their actions. But all it takes is literally one second and they are miraculously transformed into self aware, fully functioning sexual beings. Its amazing to watch.

I think the OP means sexual rather than sexy?

Surely you just need to make sure your child is properly dressed and has enough clean clothes. I'm guessing she wasn't able to find any clean tops which is why she was forced to record those videos in just a bra and jeans.

You're being deliberately obtuse, surely?

Occasionally teenage girls do indeed have errors of judgement where they dress up and try to seem "grown up". I certainly remember prancing around my bedroom imagining I was grown up and "hot" at that age. The difference is that I didn't have access to the internet (it had barely been invented!) or social media to take inappropriate photos of myself to share online before I am old enough to understand the consequences of people looking at them with VERY different eyes and intentions than my own.

Teens of both sexes also send highly inappropriate messages and photos to each other. Are you suggesting that this is also only brought about by a disorganise laundry routine at home?

Yes, thanks Lovecrisps.
I did mean that

Thanks also Pelican.
Yes I did that as a teenager too.
No harm in it at all. But exactly that. With everything filmed and now always traceable, that's the bit I'm concerned about .

OP I think that you and your daughter need to have a chat about privacy and social media. Do you know if her Instagram is public or private? Unfortunately the lower age limit is 13 which means you can't ban it on those grounds.

It's a fine line - on the one hand, she is not responsible for the bad
or inappropriate behaviour of others (i.e. males). Just telling her not to give them ammunition is very much on the slippery slope of blaming women for being raped because they were wearing tight jeans etc.

Funny videos of herself and her friend leaping around in jeans and bras singing pop songs are not the same as desperately trying to look "sultry" and posting ridiculous pictures to Instagram though, and I would definitely be focussing on the Instagram stuff rather than the videos, really.

Definitely have the privacy chat, the staying safe on line and a reminder that everything she does and writes stays forever on the internet.
THe school should be doing this too hopefully and should be worth checking in with her teacher about what is happening in general terms - as most of these videos and private messages are shared within school peers.
Also there's a guide - not checked it out yet www.internetmatters.org/advice/14plus/

My best friend has a daughter and her DD had printed off photos from a sleepover. They were photos of them in their pyjamas, doing make up, painting each other's toenails.

My friend was looking through them when an old man in his 70s more was walking down the street, my friend said quick catch that man up and show him your photos. My friend's DD looked out the window and said do I know him? My friend said no and that's the point as to why I set it to lock down your Facebook account because you never know who's looking at your pictures and what their intentions are with those pictures. Really shocked her DD.

Your DD he's probably thinking about the teenage boys looking at her pictures not them much older men who could be masturbating to them. If her Instagram is open anyone could be looking.

Maybe try that angle?