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Original poster

Inheriting large sum - can I protect it?

34 replies

El2El · 31/01/2020 08:06

Not being purposefully uninformative but I just wrote an unnecessarily long post. I'm not good at filtering unimportant info out so I'll just ask my question and then if more info is needed I'll happily oblige!

I'm married and just found out I'm might inherit appx £500k. Life changing amount.

Is there a way to 'protect' this money if DH and I ever divorce? Not anywhere near on the cards, both very happy but I'm not naive and know things can change!

OP posts:
ThreeGirlsPlayCharades · 31/01/2020 08:14

Ho to a family solicitor who specialises in finaces on divorce.

Ask for a fixed fee appointment. Your DH does not have to know if you do not want him to.

get proper sound., experienced legal advice from someone who can be told the details of your situation.

This is the time when you pay for an expert.

ThreeGirlsPlayCharades · 31/01/2020 08:14

That first word was 'go'.

hibiscuswater · 31/01/2020 08:21

Get an expert involved, you can but it needs to be so it is watertight.

TARSCOUT · 31/01/2020 08:27

I inherited half of that amount and that was life changing to see the least. Go to a solicitor. I didn't do anything as I'm a whats mine is yours and vice versa but if you want to protect it get a professional

Rainallnight · 31/01/2020 08:28

Interesting. I’ll inherit a similar sum in the next couple of years and hadn’t thought about this. Though we’re not married so presumably DP has no rights to it?

I’ve been considering it family money till now and was considering paying off our gigantic London mortgage.

ShatnersWig · 31/01/2020 08:32

On MN, the usual mantra is all money is family money.

Unless it's a woman inheriting, in which case it often family money.

ShatnersWig · 31/01/2020 08:33

WTF. Mean "Unless it's a woman inheriting, in which case it's often NOT family money"

thatsmyumbrellaellla · 31/01/2020 08:37

I am interested in the answer to this from the opposite perspective DH will receive a large inheritance in the future and should we divorce I would want to have a share of the money

purpleboy · 31/01/2020 08:38

I'll be inheriting a large sum, Ive had a very brief chat with a solicitor regarding this. I'm going to be buying property with it, but will be putting the property's into my dcs names. We will use the income but if anything happens to me the dc get the majority of inheritance. DH will still have the large family home and a couple of properties abroad so certainly won't be left without anything, he is also likely to inherit well but not for a long time. We will probably use some of the money to live on, but also have a substantial income anyway.

fastliving · 31/01/2020 08:42

Bitter much shat?

As women get a massively raw deal money wise (ever heard of the gender pay gap) and the fact we generally live longer than you guys - therefore need a bigger pension, but because of raising children generally have much smaller pensions, and that pay gap too.

So don't worry too much if we're trying to balance things out, we won't catch up in your lifetime.

Techway · 31/01/2020 08:43

Do you have children? Reality is if you were to divorce then there is no guaranteed way to safeguard your money because in the event of a divorce assets would be used to provide housing for children in both homes. It does depend however on so many factors at the time.

However there are ways to protect it which could be putting it in trust for the children (or hiding the money completely) never mentioning to your DH so he is completely oblivious. I don't think this is the right strategy however as you have to think how you would feel if it was the other way around.

Women have generally been economically disadvantaged in the past so needed "running away" money which is why women have a different view on secret money. 500k is however a different level and I think there should be openness in the marriage.

ShatnersWig · 31/01/2020 08:46

fastliving No, not at all bitter, it's genuinely something I've noticed on MN in my nine years hanging around. Whenever questions about money come up, if the male partner comes into money, it's always, 100%, family money. If it's the female partner coming into money, usually at least a third of replies will say it's her money and not family money. Even if kids aren't involved (I used family to mean any coupling 2+) and the woman is earning more than the man.

EeWellIllGoToTheFootOfOurStair · 31/01/2020 08:48

Would you want you husband to take the same attitude as you? In a happy marriage with no issues - which you indicate you have - I think you should talk honestly if you need to talk about keeping it all for yourself.

I inherited 660k last year. No questions, it is our family money. It just is. We bought a new house and we invested the rest in portfolios in both our names.

I work for myself bringing in about 20k a year. My husband has always supported me for years, sharing his money as if it's mine. So in my view, this money is our money. Plus my parents (who I inherited from) loved my DH and would want it to benefit him too

Of course if you're in a rocky marriage my advice would be different. But to say all is well BUT you want to ring fence your money rings alarm bells with me.

lilmisstoldyouso · 31/01/2020 08:50

If you are going to inherit this "life changing" sum, but feel the need to protect it, then you have two problems which need sorting out.

First one is the "life changing" bit. If you never spend the money then it can't change your life. If you do spend it, on a ginormous house for example, then it not only changes your life but your DH also. During any divorce proceedings he would then have a very strong argument about lifestyle and entitlement. TBF it would be almost impossible for you to protect "your" share of what would rightly be considered a martial asset.

The second issue you have is wanting to protect the money at all. You have obviously decided that your marriage is over already, as if you really were committed to your DH you wouldn't be thinking about divorce in the first place.

If it were a man on here asking your question in relation to hiding money from his wife he would be torn to pieces.

Do both yourself and your DH a favour, divorce now, before you inherit this money. He can find someone who actually wants to be with him, and when you get your windfall you can spend it as you choose without having to worry about protecting it.

Although be careful with timings, if the process of "inheriting" starts while you're still married things could get messy if your DH has a solicitor who's switched on enough to make a claim for the money.

Medievalist · 31/01/2020 08:52

How do you think your dh will feel about you taking steps to protect this money? How would you feel if the situation was reversed? You say you're very happy but not treating this as family money (which is what I would do) might undermine your relationship.

averythinline · 31/01/2020 08:52

yes get advice although I think you wil lneed a financial advisor/tax accountant as well as a lawyer...

immediate thoughts - if you have a mortgage maybe pay that off if doesnt suck up too much of it - or pay off half of it... this will reduce payments - and benefit you both now and in the future if you divorced as able to have more equity form any property...

invest in another property - although I think it woudl be seen as a joint asset if you're married...

put it in trust for DC

book a fab holiday for you all - I believe money is for enjoying as well as saving/investing :)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/01/2020 08:55

You want to spend any of it? Or solely want to hide it from your OH?

Original poster
El2El · 31/01/2020 08:59

Thanks for advice. I will get legal advice. So long as we are together, I'd use it to our benefit ie pay off our mortgage, clear debts etc. But reality is DH has an incredibly high paying job and potential to earn a hell of a lot more if he wanted to (he could earn my inheritance every year if that was a route he wanted to pursue) whereas I'll have been out of work looking after our young children and will likely return at a much lower pay then I would have been on of I'd been working out of home for the last 2 years. Also, not that this really matters, but if we were to divorce, if never want spousal maintenance from him. We have children so half of whatever their costs are.

OP posts:
seltaeb · 31/01/2020 09:02

If you have children when you are due the inheritance there is a way to direct some or all to your children (which then helps avoids inheritance tax on what you leave). I think it is a deed of variation? As others have said get professional advice.

LemonPrism · 31/01/2020 09:05

@shatners well, men generally don't have to run for their lives nearly as much as women do. Call it, an escape fund and be glad you don't live with a human who could easily bash your skull in

slipperywhensparticus · 31/01/2020 09:05

If he is a high earner who could earn that in a year then I see no reason why he would want the inheritance anyway

Medievalist · 31/01/2020 09:08

Do you have a pension? If your dh is so well off, perhaps most of the money could be used to set up a pension fund for you?

TeacupDrama · 31/01/2020 09:11

You need financial advice it might be best to put it into a pension for yourself. In the event of a divorce courts are looking to make sure both parties have a fair share, as he is a much higher earner he potentially has a very good pension pot probably more than your inheritance so a court may decide your inheritance is your pension rather than a share of his pension.

Once an inheritance has been spent on family home it is family money and would be shared in Scotland an inheritance is not normally counted as a family asset.

It would be perfectly reasonable to discuss with your husband that this money would be best invested as a pension for yourself there would be tax advantages for him goose if he earns that much he might already have his lifetime allowance in a pension

ShatnersWig · 31/01/2020 09:14

Lemon Let's really not go down that road. Yes, women are many, many, many more times likely to be attacked by their husband than a husband attacked by their wife, but it does happen.

How do we get from "can I protect this vast sum of money from my husband whom I'm very happy with at the moment but, well, you never know, we might divorce one day?" to "women should keep everything just in case their partner decides to bash their skull in"?

Why can't they simply have an adult conversation together about this? He might be totally happy for her to keep it all, or agree to ring fence it in a trust for the children? I wonder, though, how the OP would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and he came into £500k and wanted to keep it all for himself and not discuss it with her?

MadamePewter · 31/01/2020 09:17

Your approach seems very sensible to me. Take legal advice as different countries approach these things differently.

In Scotland inheritances don’t count as matrimonial property unless used for particular circumstances such as to buy a matrimonial home. And you’d have a right to half your DHs pension so might need to think carefully about whether your own pension is the way forwards. See a lawyer. I never fit a minute thought I’d be left by my high earning XH so had not prepared.