Hate my job after maternity leave

[riromay]

I just came back to my nice, 9-5 job after 10 months on maternity leave .. and I am really struggling.

I hate being back (even though my colleagues and workplace in general is nice). I miss my baby all the time and I just can't wrap my head around me only seeing her for a VERY limited amount everyday.

What's worse is everyone asking me if I'm happy to be back and other moms saying that they were super happy to get some time to themselves. Meanwhile, I'd also want some time to myself, but that means getting to sleep or take a bath uninterrupted not going to work! How's that even considered time to yourself? I loved my maternity leave and all the time I spent with her and all the activities we went at!

Anyway, is there any other mom here that feels or felt the same? Or is everyone a superhuman that loves being back to work?

Quitting or going part time is not an option at the moment ..

I just want to vent and hear I am not alone

I felt exactly like this. I went back part time, 3 days, but the thought of spending whole days apart from my baby was just so sad. I can honestly say it's got a lot better as the months have gone on, it all just normalises. I do think full time would have been even harder.

I don't hate my job but the feeling of missing out has increased now that DS is older. To be honest, I found the baby months really boring but once he got to about a year old and started becoming his own person, I miss him more. He's a cheeky little monkey now, he literally out his hand on his hip and sassed me the other day. I shouldn't have laughed but it was hilarious.

We make up for the lack of family time on the weekdays by making sure we do something fun together at the weekend. Saturdays are usually reserved for going out, Sundays are for staying in and having movie days :)

Have you tried for flexible working? Is it possible you could do some days from home?

We both used to commute which meant we were then trying to squeeze in quality time and housework in on the evenings..i managed to get a job working from home so now I do housework

Ah, accidentally pressed post lol

I do housework during the time I would commute. This means we get more quality time in the evening.

Bookmarking as returning to a very very nice home working 9-5 job in April and absolutely devastated at the prospect

I felt the same when I went back 3 days a week

I do enjoy it on the whole and am not cut out for being a stay at home mother

Now I’m expecting number 2 I resent my days at work even more as I feel even more guilty for not spending the maximum amount of time possible with dc1 before dc2 comes along

How long have you been back? I felt really on edge at first (she was breastfed so I literally hadn't been apart from her for more than like 30 minutes at a time) but I soon cake round to the benefits of going to work, primarily the ability to go to the loo without a small human climbing up my leg.

It's not wrong to feel either!! I looked forward to going back, but DS was a very active child so I got very little downtime during the days with him. I did go back 3 days a week though and that made a big difference to how I felt about it.

Oh OP, I soooo hear you.
I’m back part time and I bloody hate it. Not helped by my lovely work turning into a cesspool of arseholes in my absence, either. I miss my little man every day I’m there 😭

I remember spending my first day back at work in tears. I was miserable for months - not just about leaving my baby, but also being constantly stressed and tired, trying to juggle work and family life.

Those early years are so difficult, but it does get easier.

I went back two days a week, they were my salvation (twins) but I couldn’t have gone back full time. The cost more than anything

Can you change your hours at all? I went back 8-4 after my first so I could get an extra hour with her in the evenings. My DH did nursery drop off which made it easier as I didn't have to be the one leaving her. Mornings are so rushed anyway it wasn't like I was missing an hour of quality time then.

Thanks everyone!! It helps knowing I'm not alone! I had a meeting with my boss's boss today and he asked me how I am, and I literally started crying. I never cried at work before , I was so embarrassed. I wasn't sobbing, but I just had tears coming down my face while saying that I am ok

He was really nice about it and told me how hard it was for him and his wife to leave their baby too..

I want to be with my baby again, I'm just heartbroken everyday.

For who asked, this is my first week back. And it was a little bit better than Monday(when I didn't cry at work) so now it feels like it's going backwards.

I also feel like I don't know my baby as well anymore! I know it seems silly, but she seems like a different baby now and not as attached to me. Hopefully I'm just imagining it .

@Wednesdays2cats I hope it will go better for you. I was also devastated by the prospect and unfortunately my worries came true. However, there are many women who say they were dreading it but it turned out completely fine, so fingers crossed for you!

@riromay thanks. Just over two months to go to make my millions...

Ha! That's also what I am thinking now. If only there could be an easy way to become a millionaire!!

I'm thinking about starting my own business, I'm pretty motivated but I realize it will take a long time until I see some results.

I felt like this, I hated it, I was pregnant again 6 months later

@TokyoSushi congratulations!! Did you find it easier the second time around?

We're also trying for a second one, first month has been unsuccessful unfortunately..

Ah you poor thing OP! It's horrible returning to work when they're so little but it does get easier. I got to a stage where I could see that the childcare setting offered them so much more than I could at home! Despite my best efforts I just couldn't do the endless stream of activities they do at nursery so I could see how much it benefitted them! That probably started about 18 months when I thought they're going for fun rather than just to be looked after!

A better balance would be nicer of course but try and do all you can to keep your days off clear for time with your baby - maybe have a fixed activity that you do together but hang on in there xx

Ah OP x

I didn’t feel like this but I’ve always been part time and my kids were at home with dad part of the week too.

Why isn’t even dropping to 4 days an option? I’ve always done 4 days even now my kids are much bigger and I love it. If you can afford 2 mat leaves in quite quick succession would it be that much of a drop?

I'm dreading this in April. I'd love to stay off until July but couldn't not have money for 3 months.
I've reduced my hours from 9-5 Mon-Fri to 3 days and they offered me a promotion for when I go back but I don't want to go back.
I don't want the promotion. I just want to stay at home with my baby 😭

Same here. It was hard each time and I had 3. Eldest now 6 and been back nearly a year after the youngest. It is still hard!

Yes much, much easier! Good luck!

@PixieDustt I get you!! Maybe we should try playing the lottery 😅

The thing is my partner does and doesn't even win £1! 🤣 praying for the euro millions jackpot 🥴

@Poetryinaction sorry to hear it's still hard. I was always hoping for 3 kids but I don't know how I can manage doing this 3 times !!