Last year I went through hell with a co-worker. I work in education and she went for a higher post, didn’t succeed and ever since then she made life misery for me and one other colleague, however I seemed to get the brunt of it.
She came into my class on a few occasions in front of my students and shouted at me over issues she had. I had circulars to state that I hadn’t done wrong and showed these to her but to no avail. I was ignored and if I spoke she would throw her eyes up to heaven or sigh. At staff meetings she would attack me, again over things that she felt I did wrong and call me incompetent. She worked as a special education teacher so worked with children who had difficulty in English and Maths and she would purposely teach what wasn’t on the plan and then come and berate me because the children didn’t know something. If a decision was made that she didn’t like in staff meetings she would slam the door and leave in a huff.
It all escalated when she started telling the children that she was working with that I was a bad teacher, I didn’t do anything with them and to go home and tell their parents this. On one occasion I was called the most horrible person she ever met and I was the reason she was going on career break.
A disciplinary procedure was initiated against her at the end of the school year but in my view it was too little too late as her behaviour had been ongoing and witnessed by all since the beginning of the year. Parents whose children were fed the lies and stories about me wrote letter of complaint about this teacher and the Board and parents made it clear they were on my side. On the second last day of school I had a panic attack as more of the allegations made about me were brought to light and I had to be collected from school by my sister as I couldn’t stop shaking and got very weak. This was probably the culmination of the whole year.
I have not moved on from this and am not sure where to start. I am angry at myself for not doing more but I honestly never felt so intimated in my life and thought if I ignored it that it would go away. I am angry at my headteacher for witnessing most of this behaviour, being subject to some appalling behaviour herself and waiting too long to act on it. I am angry at the union for writing letters on her behalf about issues which she perceived to have been dealt with incorrectly but only gave part of the story to the union so they would back her. Our school sought advice from a number of experts and all confirmed things were dealt with correctly.
I thought as the school year went on I would begin to move on from this but I just can’t. I have decided that at the end of this school year I’m moving on as there is a chance she will come back from her career break. I had hoped to move nearer my home city at some stage in the future but wasn’t in any rush. However I will be resigning at the end of this year whether I have a job to go to or not. I wake up most nights at 3 or 4 am and think up of scenarios that she could write more letters accusing me of stuff, ask that I be investigated etc etc. I think the sheer injustice of it all is what gets me worked up. She, who behaved appallingly, verbally abused staff and parents, slammed doors on staff and parents can walk back into a job and I’m leaving with no guaranteed job to go to because I can’t bear to look at her again. Mostly my confidence in myself as a teacher is gone to pieces, I question every little thing I do and I live in fear that someday I will be “found out” and her comments will be correct.
Has anyone any advice or words of wisdom to maybe help me? I’m exhausted and my anxiety and anger seem to be getting worse not better.