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Original poster

Insomniac 8 year old. Any advice?

27 replies

bingowingsmcgee · 30/01/2020 08:33

Dd, 8, really struggles to get to sleep. She has the usual routine of supper, story, sleep, but often it takes her hours and then she's a crying mess in the morning. Last night it was 11 when she finally nodded off. She'd gone to bed at 8! She says when she gets in bed she's tired but her body just doesn't let her sleep. She's not an anxious child, and she gets plenty of exercise. It's like she's just a night owl, but that doesn't work for school days does it? Has anyone found anything to help?

OP posts:
MumWhoIsNotHappy · 30/01/2020 08:47

Exercise?

TinyTear · 30/01/2020 08:55

i could have written this last month (also with a 8yo)
we ended up sitting with her, trying to calm her down, telling her to count backwards from 100...

it helped a bit, but i still need to sit with her humming lightly a lullaby, but at least when she is asleep it's ok and she won't be up crying for one hour in the middle of the night wanting to get to sleep...

i also welcome tips

RiftGibbon · 30/01/2020 08:55

I've got one that can't get off to sleep easily too.
Plenty of exercise (sport & clubs), limited screen time, etc.
Mornings have taken a downturn recently as I am having to do wake up calls (previously the alarm clock was working).
Unfortunately I have no advice, and in our case an earlier bedtime seems to make things worse

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8 year olds Sleep
TinyTear · 30/01/2020 08:56

mine has decided off her own bat - no screens after dinner, and likes to have a cup of milk and sit in the balcony in the dark to relax before bed... not helping totally but starting

also has a colouring book to calm down

Original poster
bingowingsmcgee · 30/01/2020 11:45

Thanks for the replies.
mum she does loads of exercise
tiny solidarity. It's stressful isn't it?
rift yes we found an earlier bedtime was counterproductive.
tiny what a sensible girl you have, bless her. I'll suggest sitting in the dark to her. We tried audio books, but they kept her awake cos she got to into them. Maybe the radio would help.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 30/01/2020 11:46

Too much exercise before bedtime is counter productive is there a relax kids by you?

OhTheTastyNuts · 30/01/2020 11:50

We let DS (now 10, but have been doing this for a while!) read for 30-40 mins. We then used to go up and check on him every 30 mins until he fell asleep (we no longer have to do this, although I do go in and see him before I go to bed).
Knowing we would come up stopped all the fuss, and was less disruptive to us than him crying/getting in and out of bed.

Original poster
bingowingsmcgee · 30/01/2020 12:10

What's relax kids, slippery?
tasty nuts she knows I'll lie with her if it helps, but it doesn't seem to be a needy type of thing. It seems physical. So exasperating.

OP posts:
ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 30/01/2020 12:16

My 8 year old needs a story CD on. He's always been a terrible sleeper but being allowed to put his story CD on helps loads.

Don't try to go to sleep, just rest in bed and listen to your CD.

It's psychological - if you try to hard to sleep you can't.

Tell her that resting in bed with her eyes closed is almost as good as actually sleeping, so she should put an audiobook on in her dark room and just snuggle quietly and listen to it. No pressure. If it finishes let it start again/ restart it.

It should be a long audiobook of a story she already knows - a little bit young for her or not too exciting.

Obviously don't eat, use screens or do madly intense exercise just before bed.

Iwannabeadog · 30/01/2020 12:20

My (14) DS has used the headspace app on and off since being about 9. there are child specific short sleep meditations on there. You can download them so the phone isn't on and the light isn't on. He can now do the practice without the app if needed too. Good luck x

WeevilKnievel · 30/01/2020 12:52

Controversial, but melatonin. Dr's will prescribe it to kids in this country with ADHD and have trouble getting to sleep. I ordered some melatonin for kids gummies from the States and give my dd half a gummy a night. She's asleep within 15 minutes. Otherwise she'd be awake at 11pm and I can't get her up for school.

Original poster
bingowingsmcgee · 30/01/2020 13:29

Ah yeah I've heard melatonin is really good, and I've seen how much more rested a kid with adhd at school looks since he's been on it, but I wouldn't know how to get it safely for her, and I highly doubt the gp would prescribe it for her. Most likely I would get a lecture about sleep hygiene, which is frustrating because her sleep hygiene is great.

OP posts:
Ilovesausages · 30/01/2020 13:35

The Calm app is great and has lots of bedtime stories on it. They work amazingly well for my 8 year old DD.

TinyTear · 30/01/2020 13:46

We have told her to read as well, but she says her stories are too exciting! we offered to lend her a boring book but she growled at us Grin

RiftGibbon · 30/01/2020 13:46

itwill - I encourage Audiobooks (one of her favouriets is the "Just So" stories, which I loved as a child myself). We have the lights dimmed, music and/or books as an alternative to the audiobook, or read togther for a while, and have warm milk.
Like you, I have emphasised that it's about rest and relaxation rather than sleep, but that doesn't often work either.
I think part of the problem is that see seems to view sleep as "giving in", and it's something to be resisted as if she's asleep, she might miss something.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 30/01/2020 17:33

My youngest wanted to sleep and actually asked me to take him to the doctor's to help him, so he was motivated and not trying to stay awake. This happened when he was three and audiobook s have been his crutch since.

We have the same audiobooks on every night - obviously if they're exciting they're no use - they need to be as familiar as her favourite books were as a toddler - the ones she and everyone in the family could recite.

Beamur · 30/01/2020 17:40

My DD has always been an owl.
Unfortunately she just cannot get to sleep earlier or easier! When younger we would sometimes get her out of bed and do something else for an hour, just watch TV with us usually and then she would settle. Now she's a bit older she is good at just relaxing in bed, even if still awake. Realistically she's tired for school a lot of the time, but sleeps well at the weekend so functions ok!

Guineapigbridge · 30/01/2020 17:41

What does she have for supper? How late is supper?
It could be what she's eating maybe? E.g. Hot chocolate is the same as coffee for me, it keeps me wide awake.

littlejalapeno · 30/01/2020 17:45

What’s on her mind? When I was that age and couldn’t sleep it was from anxiety and worry, indirectly linked to my mums cancer, but I was not able to vocalise that at the time. If you’re happy with routine, exercise and diet then look at potential emotional upheavals both at home and in her usual environments. This might also be an explanation for the extreme tearfulness. She might not be able to tell you what’s wrong directly as she might not realise. Book about feelings you can discuss together and just some time spent listening could be a way forward. Good luck and I hope she feels better.

DoTheNextRightThing · 30/01/2020 18:02

Your poor DD. I do sympathise. I've had insomnia ever since I was a child. I know so well the frustration of lying staring at the ceiling feeling shattered by not being able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, going to bed thinking you won't sleep causes adrenaline which makes you unable to sleep. It's a nightmare! Well... not really because nightmares only happen when you're asleep!

I like the Calm app a lot too. Either spa music or white noise or binaural beats. Getting up and walking around for a while can help break the tedium of trying to get to sleep. You could try diffusers although I'm not sure if oils are safe for children of that age? If they are though, eucalyptus is great!

As a last resort... Antihistamines are a sleeping medication. I take a few spoonfuls of Piriton and it knocks me out. Certainly not an effective psychological solution but it does at least get you to sleep.

Gertrudesgarden · 30/01/2020 18:03

Would a "white noise" machine help her, do you think? I understand audio books not helping, as I too get into the story and don't want to switch it off. My personal trick is sudoku puzzles, but at 8 she's probably too young for them. I wonder if a white noise, like wind in trees or the sounds of the seashore, would help her drop off. I think Spotify has white noise soundtracks but I could be wrong...

Minormiracle · 30/01/2020 20:36

Sympathies OP, my DD is exactly the same (same age).

Don't really have an answer. We use audiobooks too or she reads herself, but it still takes a while. When it gets too late we tell her to switch to an audiobook by Carl-Johan Forssén Ehrlin. They're kind of hypnotic send you to sleep books. She never wants to start with them but acknowledges they're helpful once she's really tired.

We've had success with various other things but never for very long. Reward charts and pillow spray helped a bit. But basically I think it's just her natural body clock that keeps her up late.

redexpat · 30/01/2020 20:55

Weighted blanket might be worth a shot if you can borrow one. Usually used for asd, adhd, angst etc.

Cailleach · 30/01/2020 21:12

Cut out supper - if I eat anything three hours before bed I am wide awake for hours. Also make sure her dinner is as early in the evening as possible.

ClientQueen · 30/01/2020 21:15

Sometimes getting up again helps me. So if I haven't got to sleep after 30-45 mins, I get up and have (obviously make it child friendly!) a warm milk use my e cig and just sit for a bit and then go back to bed. I think it makes me a bit cold so when I get back in the warm bed I fall asleep
My dad always said if I couldn't sleep then resting was just as good which helped me not worry about sleeping

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