Received an email from an old flame, would you reply?
I’m happily married with a DC now. This ex and I were close friends and then sort of fell in love, just after uni. We are from the same village and he dated one of my best friends in secondary school. Because of their relationship we never committed to each other but did have some physical contact but never full sex. We were best mates for a few years and had the romance/physical connection as well (we both moved away for uni and attended the same place and stayed there for several years after.) Our friend (who he dated in secondary school) didn’t know about our relationship (she moved abroad and this was pre-mobile phone days, so no skype or WhatsApp) and we both felt quite guilty as she was one of my best mates back then too. He and I had long discussions about whether we should be together and always worried it would ruin our friendship.
He ended up meeting someone whilst he went to complete a post graduate course (though whilst still telling me that he loved me and perm haps we could be together) and hid it from me, and also told our mutual friend that he and I had developed feelings for each other and had gotten somewhat physical. Felt like a double betrayal at the time and we had a massive falling out. And of course ruined our friendship (and friendship with my best mate) anyway. Now some fifteen years on he’s emAiled me saying hello and how are things.
I’m of two minds-he was a dear friend and I don’t hold a grudge anymore ( it’s so long ago and we were so very young back then). But I suppose I do also hold a bit of a grudge and suspect he’s just reaching out because he’s had something go wrong and is wanting a friendly ear of support, that I of course don’t feel I owe at all! I do still have some sadness for having lost two good friends but of course we can never go back to that past.
Never had an ex reach out in this way, would you reply, ?