Can I have a handhold please? DS refusing to sleep

[Dennisreynoldsduster]

DS is just over one month old. He has reflux which we have gaviscon for but he gets quite grunty and strains a lot with wind and it means he wakes himself up a lot.

I’ve got mastitis and I’m suffering from quite bad anxiety, and last night was one of those nights. He would sleep apart from on me or propped up on his cushion so naturally I couldn’t sleep while he was.

He was a bit twitchy and kept startling himself, think he’s going through a growth spurt/developmental stage so he didn’t stay down for long anyway.

I’m feeling really tired and fluey this morning and he’s wide awake and grumpy even though he’s clearly really tired.

I just feel a bit broken and when I’m tired my anxiety is ten times worse as well. I’ve just sat down with a cup of tea and he’s straining and red faced again so there’s either a volley of stinky farts to follow or a dirty nappy change.

I know it’s pathetic but I just feel like crying this morning. The day stretching ahead seems relentless and endless and then I feel TERRIBLE for thinking that as I love him so much

We put one end of the cot legs on some books to raise it up. DD and DS just didn't really sleep anyway but those early weeks and months were just awful. It does get better, it really does. No one knows what they're doing, everyone is bumbling along with their new baby, if only we were a bit more honest about it. I just did what I needed to to get through the day, if that was feeding DD/DS to sleep then so be it.

Swaddling really helped me get the DCs down in a cot or Moses basket as they didn't wake up when they felt the cold sheets. Or feed and straight into the buggy for some rocking and walking.

Now, mine are 10yo and 4yo. All the baby anxiety is a distant memory. Both go to sleep on their own without me feeding or rocking them (at one stage my only hope was that I knew they'd do it by the time they were 18!!).

Have you tried cutting dairy and soya out? My son was the same and I excluded dairy from my diet and he was literally a different baby overnight.

It sounds like you need antibiotics. Hang in there, it does get better

Also you can take ibuprofen whilst BF

A blocked duct you can attempt to clear with feeding.
But mastitis is an infection. One that can get very nasty very quickly.

I've had three kids breast feeding them all, suffering with mastitis a few times each baby and I've never managed to unblock a duct, they always end up as mastitis and need AB's. The fact that you're feeling fluey is a clear indicator that it's getting worse.

I’ve got antibiotics now so thank you for making me push as I had to fight my corner a bit, they were going to send me home and tell me to carry on taking paracetamol.

Last night was kind of good and bad, he cried pretty much non stop from 8 til midnight even though he had food (throughout the crying spell), was frequently changed, had cuddles and was winded etc
Nothing seemed to settle him.
Then he went down for five hours and slept soundly! He just woke up for a feed and a change and has now gone back down again.
He slept the previous night from 1-6 as well
So I’m wondering if this is a new pattern. I just hope the crying was a fluke, it was so horrible not to be able to console him

Oh god I remember this stage well and do not look back on it fondly at all op so I feel your pain. My ds is 5 now and at the time you feel like this stage will never end as it's all you know so far as a FTM but it will eventually stop. Just know that it's all totally normal, nearly everyone thinks "why did I actually think I could do this shit, who convinced me I could be a mother?!"

Glad you got some antibiotics, hopefully you will start to feel less unwell soon which will help you cope a little bit better. As others have said although going out feels like the last thing in the world you want to do, it always really helps, combination of fresh air, change of scenery and a bit of mild exercise - it's great for your anxiety.

Glad you have AB's!

My baby is 13 months and never slept 5 hours, ever.

Last night he woke 11 times fucking molars , so I feel like ive been hit by a bus.

I should count myself lucky then and stop complaining! :)