Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Anxiety/Spending Time Alone in Older Age

2 replies

Starburst75 · 28/01/2020 21:21

I am a sahm (3 dcs varying ages teenage to pre-schooler). I am struggling with anxiety and depression which might be exasperated by the peri-menopause (currently under GP but early days).
In a nutshell, I am worrying about the future (dh is a lot older than me) and having suffered anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life, I am now worried about burdening my children in future because of the strong possibility that I might live alone/face retirement alone and will keep bothering them (and even worse telling them that I am lonely).
I feel my mental state talks me out of doing things and I can only see this getting worse as I age (and I am left to my own devices). I hope to do some voluntary work when dc starts pre-school and then possibly a part-time job there are things that I could join later on but my low mood still carries on...there's no point, you'll still be alone, your friends go home at the end of the day...nothing can fill the gap of dh and on and on it goes. Yes dh could outlive me but all the uncertainty is hard to deal with (and not the most likeliest scenario). There are people living alone who might not speak to people for days, yet there are others who seem fairly happy being in their own company the majority of the time. I do have a couple of hobbies (one is quite insular, the other could easily involve people). I guess I'm concerned I'm going to have the drive to get out and not become really isolated (being a sahm has given me a taste of it I think, I am not the most outgoing person and have a couple of friends rather than many). My grandmother used to cry and complain that she was lonely after my dgf died, this has stuck with me and I think I just see myself having to walk the same road (but I am already thinking about sheltered housing and not rambling about in my own house). Unfortunately, I am a glass half empty person rather than a glass half full (like my dh) Do other people worry about this? I think it must be difficult when most of your time and attention has been geared toward the home and family and then suddenly you are expected to adapt, especially if you have to adapt alone and are expected to get out there (wherever that is). Anyone?

OP posts:
Magicpaintbrush · 28/01/2020 22:33

I worry about similar things, these are the kind of fears about the future that keep me awake at night. I'm afraid I don't have any advice as such, but just wanted to say you are not alone in your worries. It's horrible I know Flowers

Singlenotsingle · 28/01/2020 22:47

What I've found is that as my DC grew up they needed me more, not less. They have worries, relationship problems, career issues...then they have children of their own and need you for help, advice, babysitting etc. In the meantime, live for the moment; stop worrying about the future.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread