How can I help her?
She had 2 'best' friends, will call them Alice and Bryony.
DD particularly keen on Alice ( less so on Bryony, they squabble quite a bit which is v unusal for DD; she usually just goes along with more dominant characters).
For two whole terms the 3 of them have played only with each other.
I spent a good deal of those 2 terms encouraging her to sometimes play with others that she likes in the class as it was pretty obvious it was getting too intense, especially when squabbles began in their threesome, and I am obv keen for her to keep her friendship group as wide as possible. DD, though, I think has enjoyed the 'security' of knowing she has this tiny group and knowing she always had a ready-made solution for playtimes. She hasn't managed to play with anyone else for 2 whole terms.
Cue the last couple of weeks, quite obviously this was going to happen eventually - Alice has branched out and found a new friend, will call her Carrie.
There was a tiny bit of typical cruelty once (Alice deliberately told my DD she likes Carrie more than her) but that seems to have settled down. But now it's quite clear that Carrie is Alice's first choice to play with at playtimes and she's kind of left DD and Bryony behind.
DD is obviously a bit hurt and bewildered as she thinks of Alice as her best friend - I think she almost feels jilted, bless her!
But what seems to be happening is that DD and Bryony are now playing only the two of them together, narrowing DD's friendship group even more! And they're not massively sympatico in all honesty, there is a LOT of 'storming off' and all that nonsense. Bryony a lovely girl but they rub each other up the wrong way.
Plus there is v much the sense that Alice is picking and choosing when she comes back and plays with her old, now second-choice friends, at which point (sigh) DD will be delighted that Alice has come back and 'chosen' her again.
DD seems incapable, despite my gentle entreaties, of playing with any of the other girls in her class - she just seems locked in to this habit of only playing with Alice (when available) and Bryony, with whom she squabbles a lot.
Last week she came home having ended up sitting by a tree (her words!) several playtimes in a row.
She's an only child; for this reason we do try to work hard on her relationships as she often needs a bit of guidance on how children interact in larger groups.
She now says she doesn't want to go to school as she hates playtimes.
Obviously in one sense it's all a storm in a teacup, she's only 7.
But in the long run I want to help her navigate these issues. She is ALWAYS 'that' child that will wait to be picked up or dropped by someone she really likes. She doesn't have the kind of confidence either to go up and ask to join in with another group, which is probably why she got so locked into this secure and slightly claustrophobic threesome in the first place.
Basically, TELL ME HOW TO HELP HER NAVIGATE GIRLS' FRIENDSHIPS, PLEASE??? I sense I have years of this to come...