Never been invited to a hen night, or wedding other than "plus 1"

[WhyNotMe40]

Does this make me a loser?
My husband has been invited to 2 stag nights this year alone. It suddenly occurred to me that the only hen night bi have ever been on was my own!
I am invited to the weddings for these stag dos as his wife. And again it occurred to me that I also have never been invited to a wedding other than as spouse or plus one.
I'm nearing 50. I have friends but I'm not anyone's close friend. What's wrong with me?

Just be grateful- they are hell on earth and no-one really wants to attend a hen do . You only attend out of duty

Have you never had close friends ?
I mean, I'm in my 50s and don't have that many friends getting married now, but 25 years ago, there was a spell of 7 or 8 years when a lot of people got married.
Even colleagues or other groups you belong to would sometimes invite groups of friends to 'evening do's' without you being their "closest friends".

Don't you have any siblings, cousins, or other relations who have ever got married ?

I was expecting you to say you were about 24 or something.

Nope never had close friends. Do t know why - I've just sort of reconciled myself to it.
Yes I had cousins get married but I wasn't invited to the weddings. My sibling did not have a "proper" wedding and only invited friends.
No never invited to colleagues weddings or even drinks out unless as part of eg "department night out" type thing. Not even invited to be on a pub quiz team with them.

I think it's unusual but if it doesn't bother you then I wouldn't dwell on it. I'm early 30s and we've been to about 10/11 weddings and accompanying hen/stag dos in the past 6 years, not including our own. All our friends are married now, including close work colleagues so I don't see us going to any more for a long time yet.

Well of course it bothers me. It bothers me that I do t really get invited out for stuff except playdates for the kids and they are rare. It bothers me I wasn't invited to my cousins' weddings. I'm quite good at making friends but they always get distant so it must be me.

I guess I'm just not very likable

Well your husband liked you enough to marry you! Hopefully that is a happy and fulfilling relationship x

I'm going on my first hen do in a few months. I've been to weddings where I'd have expected to be invited to hen do and haven't been.

Did you have children young? I find you tend to make mom friends with people who are already married/in LTR where your friendship doesn't develop in time to be a wedding guest.

No i had my children very late actually!
I don't know what I do wrong

Bless you OP. Some people just don't have close friends - it doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything wrong as such.

I have one close friend (although she's becoming someone i don't particularly like so I can see that coming to its natural conclusion in the not too distant future) and quite a few 'friends'- the kinds of people who you'd go to the pub with but wouldn't talk to about anything of any importance.

Some people are funny buggers when it comes to their weddings too. Like your cousins by the sounds of things.

I'm sort of the same, but I do know a lot of people and have had a lot of close friends. It's just the type of people I form close friendships with aren't the marrying type or are already married! We don't really have weddings in the family.

I have to say I get quite down about it sometimes.
My cousin's wedding I sort of understand as my mother doesn't really get on with her brother (father of cousins) so I have only met them a handful of times.
School wasn't a happy place for me and my best friend (who also had other better friends actually) died, then at university I had huge mental health issues and eating disorders (then alcohol) that lasted until I was 30. So I get people keeping their distance during those periods.
But there's now been 15+ years to make close friends and I still haven't managed it - everyone seems to have better friends from uni or school etc

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like this, I feel the same from time to time. I was brought up in an ‘isolated’ family, my mother was disparaging about other people and we moved a long way from our relations. I did think recently I could contact some relations to try and reestablish something, would you think about getting in touch with your cousin? Say you realised you’d value more contact? I’m wondering if your whole family were avoided as your mother is problematical for her brother?

It’s not too late to make friends. Is it the idea or the reality of it? People are complicated and seldom fit into our idealised views of what friends are. Maybe you’re more self-reliant than you think?

I'd try not to let it bother you. I'm in the same boat, although I'm only 30. Never been to a wedding and I don't think I'll ever be invited to one other than potentially as a plus one sometime. I don't have any close friends who would invite me and I'm an only child so no siblings or the like. I'm not close to my cousins so unlikely to be invited to them.
I try to look on the bright side...no drama!

Sweetpetrichor - do you have any ideas about why you have no close friends?.
I used to think it was because I was too needy or too full on too quickly but I've stopped doing that and it hasn't really changed things for me

I'm male and I've been to one stag do, around 40 years ago. I didn't have one, as I didn't feel the need or have the money. Besides, I'd already done most of it: night in the cells, fallen asleep on a train to Scotland, woke up with strangers etc.