My son hates my MIL

[Lazydaisydaydream]

My son is nearly two, he's generally a very easy going and happy little boy. He is very affectionate, gives lots of hugs and kisses etc but is also quite happy to run off at groups and play without me following him around.

However recently he has started reacting very badly when my MIL is around. If she comes to our house he spends the first half an hour sitting on my lap gripping on and refusing to get off. When I eventually persuade him to go and play he won't let her sit near him, if she tries to touch his toys he shouts no, he pushes her away when she tries to hug him etc. It's getting to the point where she is getting really upset about it and I don't know how to deal with it.

My in laws live about ten minutes away from us, we see them at least once or twice a week. He sees my FIL the same amount of time, maybe a bit less, than my MIL and loves him - is happy to play with him, sit on his lap for stories etc.

How do I deal with this? What is the best way to encourage a positive relationship? My DH tries too hard I think, asking him to give things to grandma, let grandma read you a story, give grandma a hug and so on and I think it just makes my son worse! Will it just improve with time? Is there anything I can try?

My MIL would love to babysit but the way my son is there's no way I could leave him with her as he is so upset when she is around

Any suggestions gratefully received

Haha it's def a phase. My 2yo won't go near my FIL, won't say hello/goodbye, give him a hug etc. Loves everyone else and we see them once a week usually and he's a good hands on grandad with my older two. My advice don't push it, reassure mil it's nothing personal, soon it will pass!

He might have had a scary dream about her. Could be anything. Really disheartening for her but hopefully it will be ok once he gets over it.

@LocalHobo toddlers are fickle. That just sounds like a lazy clichèd response to me.

They may be complex characters but they don't have what is being described as actual, genuine, fear of someone close to them without good reason. Yes they may go through phases of not liking one member of the family for example; but they don't quiver in corners and behave in the way OP describes.

OP, does FIL shout at MIL? Or vice versa? Did they hit or give severe/strange punishments to DP as a child? Just a shot in the dark.

Oh please! Not everything is down to trauma, summer.

Your poor MIL. Id find this devastating if I were her! Are you relaxed with her, do you like her?

I didn't like my grandad when I was little. He gave me wet kisses and he had a wart hanging under his eye.

I was like this with my uncle until I was 3. What solved it was him playing a game of Popeye with my big brother and it sounding so much fun I finally joined in ( I was Olive Oil). He's always been a fab fun uncle.

DD2 also took a dislike to her GGM as a baby. She'd take one look at her and burst into tears. GGM thought it was funny luckily (vast numbers of great grandchildren). She grew out of it around 18 months.

It's just a phase, but DH should stop pushing it.

MIL could try being ingrossed in something really (toddler) exciting when you arrive (painting/bubbles?), you DS may want to join in, don't make a big deal of it if he does or doesn't. Or DS will just grow out of it eventually.
YY to a reset moment.

My kids were both like this at the same age. Now they're 9 and 7 they adore all grandparents and have done for years.