How do you cheer yourself up without spending money?

[Notopel]

This January I’ve started to eat my unhappiness, turning to chocolate in the evenings as I’m so lonely and unhappy.

I can’t really think of any other way to cheer myself up atm. I don’t drink anymore and I can’t go anywhere as I’m a lone parent without a family network. Budget is really tight so I can’t afford a sitter and the cost of an activity. Things I used to enjoy like fancy bubble baths and new clothes are also off limits.

I come home from work, go through the motions of dinner/ homework etc and then end up stuffing the left over Christmas chocolates in my mouth as I disconsolately scroll through Netflix looking for anything to watch.

I’m not hungry, I’m just looking for something to fill that aching emptiness.

Looking for suggestions of what everyone else is going to stop them eating their feelings.

I find a walk helps me, I too eat chocolate for the sake of it, I don't even enjoy it!! But I also like to go to the shop and " find " something to buy which isn't good xx

Read?

Learn a language?

I was using duolingo when bored and lonely. Latin was quite fun.

Bless you, I know loads of people in a similar situation. This tricky time will pass as your kids grow.
How about sticking on a really simple, short yoga tutorial on YouTube when the kids are in bed? It’ll calm you and distract you from your feelings.
Yoga is incredibly good at giving you some perspective.

Make a face mask out of bits in the cupboards.
Do you draw? Or like reading? Those are bits that relax me.
Expensive bubble bath is overrated. Buy a pound land special or pinch some of the children’s.
Yoga with Adriene makes me feel pampered because it’s me time. I wait until dc are in bed to avoid them joining in.

I like chocolate (or wine but currently on dry January) And some good Netflix binging! Other things I like are painting my finger and toe nails (did pink glitter toes last night, will do mani tonight after kids go to bed). Also face packs, eyebrows, exfoliating etc I have plenty of stuff in the bathroom cabinet that I have bought or been gifted so no costs for beauty ‘shopping’ in my own cupboards

I also enjoy sorting out a random drawer or cupboard and throwing things away/to charity but I realise that might not be a ‘treat’ for most people...

Bit of home pampering - nails, face masks, hair masks.

Exercise - I go to the gym mainly for classes but you don't have to do that, go out for a walk in the fresh air, go out on a bike ride, do some exercise in your living room on the TV.

Read - if you're interested that is, I love reading but never have much time. I read the DCI Helen Grace series and absolutely loved it.

Netflix binge - happy to give suggestions I'm a bit of a series geek

Have a bath
Listen to music
Draw - I'm rubbish at it, but love it
Read
Paint toe nails - I always make a mess with finger nails but toes are easier!
Or instead of chocolate, sometimes I buy a mango or some raspberries because I always think they feel like a treat

Walking is good.
I’m currently learning to crochet ( needle and wool from charity shop for pennies). It’s hilarious with mixed success. Still fills a few hours even though I’m pretty crap.
Also learning Welsh. I’m on the border and have no real need but it’s great to do something different.

A nice hot bath with bubbles does it for me...and some chocolate with a cuppa too!!

I try to read and have been using the library hold system to get the books I want ordered in advance. Currently reading Olive Again and planning to reread the Wolf Hall series again before the new book comes out.

I have a Peleton bike (hangover from when I had a well-paying job), but I try to get my exercise in the morning as I’ve had difficulty sleeping for the past few years. I used to really enjoy hot yoga classes as I find it difficult to switch off at home.

A walk would be great but can’t leave the six year old alone in bed.

I can feel my life slipping away sometimes and get really resentful about it. It seems years away before I’ll get any of my life back.

Ex H lives hours away in London, so I have about 1/4 weekends free. It’s eow but one of those is taken up with travel as it’s around 5/6 hours on the Sat and Sun to do halfway handover and then travel back home.

I keep thinking I should complete some study as these years are going to go anyway and I may as well do something useful with them.

I go for a run, or if I can’t get out do some hiit.
It works off all my anxiety and allows my brain to chill a bit, then I can get back to mindlessly scrolling through Netflix

Play a good video game that's fun, like mario kart. Don't let the kids know you have it

I’m also stuck in the house in the evenings a lot just now. I find the following cheer me up - yoga using an app on my phone, painting my nails a new colour, having a bath, watching good comedy on Netflix, having a friend over for a wine or two, planning future adventures online, particularly travelling.

Decluttering. It’s very cathartic and once it’s done my mood is much improved

Phone a friend you've not seen for a while and have a good catch up.

Read, radio 4 podcasts, drawing, list stuff on eBay (feels so good once it’s done), listen to music, send texts to friends I’ve not seen in a while, plan where to go at weekend.

I heard the author of this book speaking on the radio the other day, she was really inspirational- The Unexpected Joy of The Ordinary. I've been doing daily gratitudes since and it's really helping me get through a really tough time. It doesn't focus on the big things, it's about finding something every day to be grateful for, no matter how insignificant it might seem. All the little things add up.

There's some free courses on Open Uni that look really interesting. You could try something you like the look of and maybe take it further if it appeals.
For me it would be reading, trying a bit of writing. Podcasts while I tidy/declutter is also good. I feel very accomplished if I tidy a drawer or something. I keep meaning to make a photo book for DC but never get round to it. Could be a nice project. Could you have a friend or neighbour in sometimes for a cuppa and catch up?

I’m in a similar place re evenings, as OH works away a lot. And to be honest, this time of year I’m not inclined to go out anyway, so I don’t miss it so much. I miss the freedom more in the summer
Does something crafty appeal? You can get cheapy card making bits from the works and Poundland for eg. My attempts aren’t great, but I lose myself in sitting and sticking
Also mindless YouTube vlogs. I watch crafty ones, decluttering ones, travel ones (dreaming) and cookery ones

Something productive like tidying drawers, clearing out cupboards, cleaning makeup brushes.

If you feel like studying but don't want to commit long term, look at Futurelearn courses. They're free and cover all sorts of subjects. I did a Fiction writing one that was , I think , 16 weeks, so not too daunting.

I also agree with exercise, I've not been very well recently so a bit fed up too and hardly exercised so that's not helped to my mood .
I went running in the rain today it was lush felt great afterwards had a lovely hot shower .
I like to get a magazine I download on my kindle now on subscription.
It's hard this time of year .

Adult colouring in book - got mine from the pound shop. It's something I should pick up/put down as I want and it's quite therapeutic.

Library - I know you already borrow books but my library has an e-library and I can access hundreds of magazines and books, from home. It's worth checking out if your library has something similar.

Baking - I'm not good at baking, but I enjoy trying new recipes and seeing how they turn out.

Beauty - home spa treatments, pedicure, soak in the bath, face mask. I put some whale music on (you tube) and light a scented candle.

You need some form of escapism. I have a young dd and in the evenings I read books, adult
Colouring book/puzzle book with a cup of tea and cat. Cross stitch/sew/decopatch or play a game watch a movie with dp.
Fresh air is also great when you are feeling down, when it’s warmer spend evenings in the garden.
Dump the chocolate for nuts/fruit Cadbury’s is just not as nice anyway.

Practice mindfulness.
Write in a journal.
Call friends for chats.
Make your own cushions.
Redecorate.

Once a week have your son’s friends for tea (growing up, my DD had pizza night on a Thursday, when she could invite whoever she wanted. One time she invited a lady she bumped into every day, DD was coming from school, the lady was walking her dog, they became friends and she came for pizza 😂😂)