How to let go and not care what they think

[Askastupidquestion]

Long story which I wont go into but I've had issues in work, low level bullying by my boss etc and I'm currently off with stress. They've managed to get a lot of people onside in my absence including people I was friends with.

I just want to let it all go, I know they weren't true friends but I have this need for people to hear my side even though I know it would be fruitless. I don't plan on returning, so realistically I don't need to see any of these people again, how can I just move on in my head?

I think in situations like this it just takes time.
That’s been my experience

If you wanted to raise a grievance you could but it’s not something I ever wanted to do

Arseholes will always be arseholes

Hope you find a lovely team to work with when you’re ready

Thank you. I don't want to go down the grievance route either tbh, haven't got the energy for it. Ironically, if I chose to, the same 'friends' would be witnesses of boss' behaviour and I have plenty of messages to prove it. I think that's what's bothering me so much, they know exactly what I've gone through in the past couple of years.

I think the quickest way to move on is to go looking for a new job working with nice people and hopefully that won't take very long

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. My line manager accused me of all kinds of ridiculous activities. I did choose to raise it as a grievance higher up but it was just met with 'well we all know she can be difficult but...'

It was awful and people who were friends mainly backed off or only offered support in private. I became very stressed and had to go on anxiety medication and often cried on the way into work - and sometimes at work which was very humiliating.

But...

I left and found a new job where I am respected and have friends. Its the best professional move I have ever made. It did take time, but when I look back on it now I see that it has made me a more empathetic person. I Never get involved in staffroom gossip and I do my best to support my colleagues.

When I look back at my old work colleagues I genuinely feel sorry for them. They're all still there in that toxic environment. All (bar a few - who weren't awful to me but could have been braver) only looking out for themselves.

I left a job just before Christmas that was really detrimental to me. I moved on my going on a family holiday over Xmas and NY and getting a new job. If you have something else to do it'll take your mind off it.

I'm looking for a new job now. I already feel better not being there, and my dc have commented on me being happier which is lovely. Definitely won't be returning. I just need to shake this stupid feeling of wanting to share my side of the story.

Glad you're all in better places