Loneliness- is this 'normal' or am I depressed?

[SquareSilkScarf]

I'm 32 and I've never had a relationship and it's really getting me down. I feel so lonely all of the time but leaving the house is getting worse and worse. I hate going to the supermarket or into the city centre because I feel like all I see are couples and families. I hate going to church because all I see are wedding notices and flowers. I don't even want to socialise with colleagues any more because I'm so ashamed of answering anyone when they say 'Are you seeing anyone?' And even worse, my friends have stopped asking me.

I am beginning to think that I might be depressed, but the thought of going to the GP and saying 'I'm so depressed because I don't have a boyfriend' sounds so childish and ungrateful when people have serious health problems.

Loneliness is really a thing OP. Its very human to want/need to feel connection/contact, and feel needed/wanted/expected somewhere.

If you feel depresed now, you feel depressed now. It doesn't need a justification/reason. If you tell your GP you are feeling low/lonely and its stopping you do everyday activities, and how long you have felt this way they should talk through options - counselling, medication etc. and arrange a review.

Are there places you might feel comfortable going? The answers might not be the obvious ones.

Is what you want (long term) a family of your own?

Is what you want (long term) a family of your own?

Yes, very badly.

I like going to the gym, I don't feel lonely there even although no one talks to each other.

I know how you feel. I socialise more online than irl. Facebook groups, Twitter, MN etc.
It makes me feel a certain amount of connection. Without these I can go weeks without adult conversation or contact.
What makes me feel best is being out and about on a hike, fresh air, exercise and other folks on the trail.

But alas I can't give suggestions or advice, you need to find something for you. If that makes sense. :)

Are you quite shy OP? 32 is quite old to never had a relationship. Obv it doesn't mean you cant have one. I was just wondering what has got in the way of you seeing someone before.

I have had a relationship but I identify with feeling lonely. I feel incredibly lonely now I'm single. I don't feel needed or wanted. My little girl is not the type to want looking after. And sometimes it feels like she hates me. And no I don't have people to connect with not truly anyway. And it makes me feel ashamed. It's made me lose my confidence a lot. I guess I just wanted to say I understand

I don't even want to socialise with colleagues any more because I'm so ashamed of answering anyone when they say 'Are you seeing anyone?'

Nothing to be ashamed of. I think people ask just as a form of chit chat.

I can relate to what you are saying @SquareSilkScarf - I didn’t get into my first relationship until I was 27. I am not sure why - I was (and am) shy.

Now that that marriage is over, I absolutely miss close human contact (but it wasn’t a close marriage and that’s one of the reasons it ended).

I think you sound lonely and sad and as if you are isolating yourself, and there would be no harm in asking the GP about counselling which might help.

Also, do you have time to join a meet up group or more than one group, to do a regular activity that you enjoy? The focus would be the activity and meeting people the lovely bonus.

What about your own family - do you see them?

Is what you want (long term) a family of your own?

Yes, very badly.

Because if you do, don't let your beliefs hold you back from going for what you want/truly desire.

(I say that as someone who spent the best part of my 30s pondering what might be wrong with me.)

@purpleme12 you are a great mother! And your little girl loves and appreciates you even if it doesn't seem that way right now!

Can I say as somebody 20’years older that all the couples & families doesnt mean that they’re all bliss fully happy. All situations have their challenges.