I'm so lazy - advice please

[womblewise]

I've realised that nobody ever says this without it being sort of jokey, but I am having a real problem with this at the moment.

I am a secondary teacher but I only work three days a week. Nonetheless, the work piles up and I often have a lot to do on my days off, evenings and weekends.

I'm off two week days and my small DC are at school, so I have about six hours childfree each day. I just can't seem to motivate myself to do anything in that time. I can feel the weight of everything to do piling in on me - the housework, the marking, the admin, the lesson planning etc, and I feel so overwhelmed that I do very little. I worry a lot - that seems to be my only pastime! Today I've been food shopping, then sat down feeling rubbish and fell asleep for a while 😳. A friend rang a little while ago and I could face a chat so I didn't answer.

I should say that I'm on ADs which I am rubbish at remembering to take, but other than that, I think I might just be a terribly lazy person.

Any advice on how to motivate myself please? Or has anyone overcome this? I know it's my own fault - but everything feels such hard work!

You aren't lazy. You're depressed.

Make a commitment to taking your medication properly for a set period and then see how you feel.

How long have you been on the AD? Are you due for a review any time soon?

I'm not sure I would call this lazy more demotivated. Try breaking your day up into manageable tasks or 20/30 mins chunks. Whether that's 20 mins housework or 30 mins school work etc.

Set a reminder/alarm on your phone to take meds. If you're not remembering to take them or take them at different times in the day then this might have an impact on how you're feeling.

Hi OP, I'm a bit like you (minus the ADs). I'm a teacher too, part time since I had my dc. I was always pretty efficient when I worked full time, because I was governed by the structure of the school day and deadlines to get things done. I find it much harder to be effective on my own timescale!
I don't have depression, but I have struggled with anxiety in the past. I have a tendency to avoid stressful/boring tasks by distracting myself with other things and wasting time.

Here's what helps me:
*Bullet Journal (game changer for me)
*Vigorous exercise (massively improves my mental state and levels of motivation)

• Realising that stolen/unscheduled leisure time is nothing like as enjoyable as the deserved, scheduled leisure time you allow yourself when you've actually done your jobs.

For more on this, I'd seriously recommend the articles on procrastination on the WaitButWhy website here It's very funny and helpful.

I am very similar, OP. I also have so much to do around me and I don't get it done. I am able to waste so much time.

I'm also on ADs. I feel better in a way but I am someone who usually springs into action as a deadline approaches. I wonder sometimes if the ADs have taken away my anxiety to the extent that I no longer have the stress motivating me to do anything. I really don't feel like it's depression that's holding me back.

And me 😳🙁 - also devote large amounts of time to worrying, prevaricating and being overwhelmed. Also on AD. Now worry and prevaricate sitting on sofa not hiding in bed so an improvement...

I'm the same and also a teacher. I end up so overwhelmed by the amount of things to do and the knowledge even if I worked 24/7 there would still be things I hadn't done that I end up just blocking it out or doing the bare minimum.

I agree with the first poster, I hink you're depressed. Perhaps go for a jog in the mornings before breakfast. Exercise makes me feel good.

Have you read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? It's worth a shot!

Same here. Running does make me feel 100% better but I’m struggling to get out the door and actually go for a run.

Are you sure you aren't physically unwell in some way. I have chronic illnesses and struggle with fatigue a lot.

I think a good start would be trying to become consistent with taking your AD's. Not being consistent can really mess with you.

When I'm dealing with fatigue I try to do things in 20 minute bursts. So 20 minutes of doing something, then 20 minutes of resting. It paces out the day and means I don't burn out.

I work 3 days too in a busy, stressful job I really don't enjoy but it gives me this flexibility while I've got kids. I do manage to get some stuff done on my non-working days, a bit of exercise but to be honest, I also see it as my recovery time from being at work, sorting out the DCs and most other shit - I definitely carry the mental load in this family!

I wouldn't feel so guilty OP, you deserve a break. You might have a few hours free time when the kids are at school, but you need it! Life won't always be this tiring, or so my mum tells me, so ease off on yourself a bit. A few small essential goals for the days off then sit down and have that nap if you need it! Things don't need to be perfect.

I've never known a lazy teacher who said what you are saying but I've known depressed ones who have.

I feel like this when the weather is gloomy. Much less so in spring and summer

Like wanting to hibernate

Normally once I actually begin a task, that gets the ball rolling - it's just finding that initial motivation...

This sounds like my ADHD traits.

One thing my coach has got me doing is a colour coded schedule of the week.

Also automating as much as possible...a rotating two week meal plan of fixed meals and an online shop. Etc.

Also yes its so dreary and cold! It will pick up soon.

Can you afford a cleaner? Even if just for a while to take away some of the load.

Yes also...you must take ads every day at exactly the same time. They start to break down.

I use an app called Alarmy. To turn it off yoi have to get up and take a photo, so the photo could be of the pill packet which reminds you to take it.

If you have already left for the day and need to take it..I have a screw bullet keyring which I can pop spare meds in.

Agreeing, sympathising and following OP.

It’s not just you. Hopefully people can give us some good advice

This is the depression acting. You must take your AD regularly everyday, and if you don’t feel any different after a month return to your GP, you may need different ones or a larger dose. As you’ve described, depression can suck away your motivation and desire to anything and lead to self loathing, therefore you must prioritise taking your medication above anything else you do. Even if that is all you manage some days, you will gradually feel that you want to do more. Good luck.

I'm quite like this. I only do the bare minimum on my days off: quickly whizz then hoover round and put on a load of washing. Only so the place looks barely respectable so that DH doesn't give me any hassle when he comes home from work and asks what I've been doing all day!!

Find a new job that's not teaching.

Thank you all so much for being so kind. There's lots of good advice here, and a lot to think about. Starting today, I'll prioritise the medication and take it at the same time everyday. I don't know why I've let it get so sporadic.

I'm definitely going to break down tasks into manageable twenty minute chunks. @lazylinguist is a bullet journal like a to-do list? That's definitely what I need. And you're right - it's not like I'm even enjoying doing very little!

You're anxious and depressed. Not lazy. What antidepressants are you on and why don't you take them?

lazylinguist is a bullet journal like a to-do list? That's definitely what I need.

Partly, but it's a bit more than that. It's like a cross between a calendar, diary, to-do list and notes sections all in one. It's essentially a written method of organising every aspect of your life in one book.

There are whole threads on MN about it, or the original website bulletjournal.com explains the system. It is much more helpful than ad hoc throwaway to-do lists. It hasn't just made me (much) more organised, it has given me the peace of mind that comes with knowing I'm on top of things.

It's about getting that mess of thoughts, niggling tasks and plans out of your head and safely contained in your journal. Very good for freeing headspace!

I need to do a bullet journal! I’m sort of the same, part time teacher, young children and I feel I never get anything done. I was so efficient pre-children. It’s like walking through treacle! Some days I get so much done but it feels like a constant battle. Work takes up so much head space. I’m Primary and there’s always things to do better and do more of. I don’t know what the answer is!