Help me to not send a snotty response to work email

[SeaViewBliss]

I work in a large organisation. We have several contracts with other, smaller organisations and there is one company that provides all the admin support for any joint projects.

There is an administrator who seriously oversteps on many occasions but as this has never affected me or interfered with my work I simply giver her a wide berth whenever possible.

Today she has sent me a very terse email practically scolding me for asking for an item to be put on an agenda. I emailed the chair of the meeting to request it and copied her in as she collects agenda items. This is the standard way it works in this scenario.

I am not one to pull rank or flout my seniority but she is not part of my team, I do not report to her and it is absolutely none of her business what goes on this agenda other than she types it up.

I know that other people (including the chair who will have seen her response) know what she is like. Numerous complaints have been made about her and she is on performance management. However, in the mean time, she sends these emails that are quite hard to criticise in isolation. But knowing how she is, you can sense the tone and it is obvious she is trying to undermine me.

I know I can't respond, I know she will be dealt with eventually but I am in a BAD mood today and needed to vent! Every time I go into Outlook, her email is there taunting me to respond!

'Hi XYZ, I think it's an important discussion point that needs to be added to the agenda . Thanks for making the adjustments'?

I would ignore, but part of me wants to say "Are you always rude to your customers?"

Forward the email to her boss and make it clear how irritated you are with her lack of professionalism. CC her if you are so inclined. Hopefully that will help get rid of her sooner.

Dear Pleb, please confirm said item is included on the agenda for xxxxx meeting.

Dear (her boss), could you please ensure your direct report includes this item on the agenda as requested. (cc minion)

Regards

Dear dick,

I expect this item to be added as requested originally. Please do so.

Regards

You

If I were feeling charitable, this -- Dear Pleb, please confirm said item is included on the agenda for xxxxx meeting

If feeling less charitable, this --

Dear (her boss), could you please ensure your direct report includes this item on the agenda as requested. (cc minion)

Regards

I wouldn’t respond tbh, and if the agenda comes out without the item then cc the chair attaching your email and demand it’s recirculated. If she hasn’t said she won’t do it her protestations needn’t affect you

If she's on a pip surely this is one of the things that's being addressed?

Don't put anything in writing. Don't email. A quick word in private with her boss?

No excuse for rudeness but it's possible adding this item means a whole heap of admin for her to update various documents, forward amended agenda etc etc.

I would respond with "The tone of your email dated xx is not acceptable. I need you to confirm the agenda item has been added as agreed with [insert Chair's name]. I would appreciate a response by xx."

Do not respond with 'I think', it has a slightly apologetic tone women adopt too often. Either ignore or ask her to confirm it has been added.

No excuse for rudeness but it's possible adding this item means a whole heap of admin for her to update various documents, forward amended agenda etc etc.

That's her job. Not telling those whose job it is to arrange the agenda that no, that's not acceptable in her opinion.

Minor annoyance. Would just ignore!

As she is on performance view, I would make the chair aware of what emails she is sending out. I would forward it and ask that he confirm that you point you have asked for will be on the agenda.

I’d probably do the passive aggressive overly sweet...”Thank you so much for assistance with adding my point to the agenda, really kind of you as it is such an important thing that I need to discuss with the management team” (or whatever, but enough to show her she is not a member of said team)

Does her email actually require a response? If she's implied that she will add the item but is just grumbling to you then I'd leave it. If the scolding is a 'no, I won't add it, you should have sent it earlier' (or similar) then I suppose it needs to go over her head to her boss to see if it can be added. But don't rise to her if avoidable.

You say her boss will have seen her response. I'd email the boss and ask for confirmation that the item is on the agenda. Polite, non apologetic email. It'll be added to her pip I'd guess.