Advice about bed wetting please

[WhatWouldJasonBourneDo]

DD is 4 years old and has never been consistently/reliably dry at night. She'll be dry maybe 3 or 4 times a week. It's cool, no pressure. I've been using regular toddler nappies and we just call them "sleeping nappies" and explain it to her as "how can you go sit on the toilet if you're sleeping?".

Waking her at about 10pm for a toilet visit hasn't had any effect on dryness reliability and just makes her extremely grumpy and resistant. I've never actually attempted to go the full monty and just allow her to wet the bed and deal with all of that in the middle of the night.

I guess I didn't want to deal with it that way because I thought she'd just get it one day (her brother was reliably dry very early on so no experience of this).

We did attempt to do a sticker reward chart when she turned 4, but since then I've looked a bit here and there and read that it's a developmental/hormonal thing, to ride it out and she'll be dry when she's able/ready. We give lots of good praise when she's dry, but no other rewards now.

But here's the thing. She's about to start Reception (in Australia, school starts next week). I can't very well put her in nappies now she's at school can I? To be honest, we've been using the nappies rather than pull ups purely for the price (they are e x p e n s i v e).

I want to maintain her dignity. How?

How will they even know she is wearing them at night, it's not something you declare to everyone.

No one at school will be bothered that she’s in nappies at night. Dry during the day is what they’re worried about. My Dd is 5 and is still in pull ups at night.

Yeah, I suppose that no-one at school is really going to pose the question about night time routines.

My thoughts/doubts probably stem from when friends were visiting and their older DD was going through things in my DD's room. She opened the drawer and questioned why she had nappies. DD replied and gave her explanation, but was made to feel a bit babyish by the older girl.

I just don't want her to be impacted by other people's reactions.

Ds wasn’t dry at night until 8. We just hid his pull-ups when he had friends round for tea and his siblings knew it was a private matter never to be talked about. He’s finally cracked it by having no fluids after 7pm and trying to get 3 wees out of him before lights out at 9pm. I think they’ll do it when they’re ready. Never make a big deal of it either.

It’s pretty normal for a 4 year old to not be dry overnight. I wet the bed until around 7, my older 2dc wore night time pull ups until 5.5.

My daughter wasn't dry at night until she was 5. She got to the point where she didn't want to wear nappies at all, so we started lifting her to the toilet when we went to bed at 11ish. Didn't wake her up, but carried her on to the toilet, she would do a wee, laid her back in bed and that would be her for the rest of the night. I dont think this is necessarily recommended as it obviously doesn't teach them to wake up when they need to go but we felt it got us through a few months where she really didn't want nappies in but physically couldn't control the bed wetting. Maybe that is an option?