I just wanted to let this out, I don't feel anyone else understands how this makes me feel.
I have NC'd for this.
Background - I'm in my forties, plain looking on a good day, some would say ugly on a bad day. I have a distinct voice, irritating I'm sure to many people, it can be a bit high pitched but often people ask me to repeat what I've said because I'm fairly softly spoken.
I am 1.5 stones overweight and am working on losing this, I lost several stone last year. I am curvy, big bust, waist goes in a bit and have fat legs, with very fat thighs, one of my most hated features.
But I have received compliments by nice work colleagues saying how well I've done with losing the weight and that I look really well.
I know I am a good person on the inside, I have a kind and loving heart and try my best to be kind to others even when they don't deserve it. (I know this is true not only because I feel this way but because people have told me this through the years).
I generally smile a lot and have a happy type of personality, I much prefer to laugh and smile even when I feel like crap on the inside.
Where I work, people do all different shift patterns, I do 12 hours, some do 6 and shifts change / start all through the day/evening.
Recently at work I was holding the door open for some young lads, around 19 - 20 age and we were all heading up the stairs. (They work on a different shift pattern and were going for break, I only know them by sight and ditto for them with me).
Anyway, I heard one of them say to the others these snippets "It's rough...... look at the legs....and the voice is ...." (then mimicking my voice).
It was about me for sure, they were right behind me, it couldn't have been anything or anyone else.
That was it, I thought of virtually nothing else but these comments for the rest of my shift and every day since it keeps popping into my head.
I feel so uncomfortable around them now, I literally ran up the stairs the day after when I saw them walking nearby just to get away.
If I'm honest they are not adonises themselves in my view. They certainly don't meet the standards of say 'Love Island' which is what seems to be the acceptable standard of beauty for some people.
I have heard comments like this on and off since my teenage years all through secondary school and into adulthood.
Every time they cut like a knife. It brings every other horrible comment flooding back.
The comments have usually been from young men. Men older than me have often seemed to find things about me that they like. Not just looking at my outer shell.
Why do I let nobodies like this get to me every time? (I call them nobodies because they seem to enjoy belittling other people, people they don't even know).
Why the hell should I care what they have to say about me? ....... But I do.
Does anyone else have experience of this?
How do you cope with it and stop it making
you feel like rubbish?
Although I'm writing this whilst crying I actually feel a bit better 'talking' about it.
Apologies for the waffle and thank you for taking the time to read this.