Husbands possible new job would mean I have to leave mine...what to do?

[wooda180]

My husband is in the running for a new job which in all fairness would be great for him as it's in a field he loves and he's so unhappy in his current job that he's now been put on anti-anxiety and depression meds. If he gets offered this new job then of course I would fully support him and I want him to be happy. My only concern is that for him to be able to take this new job I would have to leave mine (a job I'm happy in), with the exception of being on maternity leave I have never not been working. While financially the pay will cover our loss I do worry about not contributing anything myself as I have never seen myself in that situation. Unfortunately childcare is not an option for is in this situation. I feel selfish for even thinking this way, which is why I'm here. Is it ok that I'm thinking the way I am?

Could you give a few more details as in why his new job means you have to give up yours? As you both work now? Are you moving area/the hours/commute etc?

Can you explain why you would have to leave your job if he takes this?

Personally I wouldn't be happy to be wholly financially reliant on someone else, however secure the relationship. But plenty of people are.

Why would you need to leave - would it involve a significant move or relocation? If so, can he not move temporarily by himself?

If he's had issues with depression I wouldn't leave your job until he was settled and comfortable. Simply don't give up your stability and career for the sake of your DH - try and make it work so that you both retain your positions. Especially if he may hate the role or not feel its quite right for him (which he may only realise after starting the job).

So who's looking at the DC atm then, if you're working in a job you like, and he's working as well?

If his mental health is not strong, it might not be advisable to quit your job. All his problems might nit suddenly disappear.

Leaving your job and giving up your independence and career could well be detrimental to your mental health - you could be sacrificing your MH for his. If this new job cannot be done on your family/childcare setup then it's just not feasible for him. I definitely wouldn't do it.