Recovering from major surgery with a 1yo...how?! Tips?

[EnidTheCat1]

I'm due to have a preventative double mastectomy with reconstruction in the next few months (BRCA1 gene), and I'm starting to get really worried about the recovery period with my 13 month old.

He's big and cuddly and not at all gentle...I'm going to have drains in for the first 10 days and I feel like if we're in the same room at all he's going to charge at me and knock them. I'm used to being with him all the time so I'm worried we're both going to find it really difficult.

I'll hopefully have help from my husband/mum for the first 3 weeks but after that will probably have to manage with him on my own, but I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy and he can't walk yet! How do I get him in his cot/highchair etc?

If anyone has been through major surgery with a little one/ones, any tips on how to cope? He's not old enough to understand that he needs to be gentle.

Oh, you poor love, that sounds really tough.

I don't have experience of major surgery with a little one that age. I did have surgery when DD was 8 months, and I ended up using a plastic step (so not heavy) so she could climb onto that and onto her pram. She wasn't walking but it's amazing how much they will climb/step if they have time. I gave up on the highchair for that bit (just let her sit and eat wherever). My DP got her into her cot. For naps would he sleep on a little mat/cot mattress on the floor?

Sorry, wish I had more I could think of.

Thank you, the steps sound like a good shout! And can defo just give him picnic teas on the floor, hadn't thought of that. He can climb upstairs but not down yet, so I think he'll have to have naps on the sofa maybe, or could put his mattress on the floor in the living room...think we're just going to have to wing it for a few weeks!

Having had prolapse surgery with a toddler and an 11 month old I wasn’t allowed to lift and was recommended to do online grocery shopping.

Start using words now like gentle, careful cuddle, slowly. And encourage him to climb up onto the sofa/your lap rather than you having to bend down or pick up.

Have someone else cook & prepare main meals. You could probably find a simple picture book about hospitals (I used one for my toddler when I had to have operation so it’s not too scary if they visit).

Take up all offers of help, if you go for a walk, go with a friend who can push the buggy for you.

Would you have a budget to get in some paid help like a temporary mother’s help or nanny? I knew someone who worked as a temp nanny for a family with a toddler when the mum had a shoulder surgery and the father was at work all day. The nanny went in for a few hours, took the child to the park to tire him out and helped with bathing etc.