13 month old resisting pushchair and car seat. It’s Making my life a misery

[Laurjade89]

DD is 13 months and up until about 9 months she would always fall asleep in her pushchair. I’ve always loved long walks so it was perfect. As she got older she would ‘tolerate’ it for about 20 mins.

Now she screams in her car seat the whole time, I have tried every distraction. It’s not so bad in the car as nobody else can hear.

However, the pushchair is a different story. She cries as soon as I put her into it, and then for the whole time she’s in it. I’ve tried facing her both ways, giving her toys, my phone, everything.

The other day I was feeling strong willed and need to go to the local Asda. I strapped her in and it’s a 15 min walk (then of course 15 min back) I decided as long as she was fed and warm she could stay in the pushchair no matter what, I was I wasn’t giving in and carrying her.

She cried the entire time, infact after a while she was screaming so loud. I stayed strong and didn’t get her out until we go back home but it made going out so miserable.

Every single baby seems to love their buggy or at least calm down after 5 minutes in it.

I feel like a prisoner in my own home now. If I persevere with not getting her out of the buggy, wil she eventually stop crying? I feel like it could be a battle of wills but not sure how long she could hold out.

I just want to go out like we used to but she makes it a hell of a mission.

Thanks for reading

It's so frustrating. My son has always been like this. To the point where he makes himself blue and sick. I hated it is can't stand being stuck home and have to go on buses to go to town. I ended up getting a baby carrier as I couldn't carry him like that every time. I'm disabled so.made it harder. Now he is 3 he has a harness bag walks most places when he's tired I still put him in the baby carrier . Which he calls the stuck

Is there somewhere close to you that is fun for her? Like a park? Maybe just use the pushchair to go there for a while. So she starts to associate the pushchair with going somewhere fun. Then if that works slowly build up distance?

Dd was like this. I got a backpack carried and stuck her in there. Much less handy than having the pushchair, but I couldn’t cope with the screaming.

Few weeks of that and I tried her in the pushchair again and she was fine!

Have you tried a baby carrier?

I’m not sure all babies like prams.. mine never have so I always carried them instead (usually in baby carrier / sling).

For places like the supermarket would she prefer sitting in the trolley seat. If you have a totally basic buggy you can fold it up and put it in the end bit of the trolley.
Is she finding her current pushchair uncomfortable?

I feel your pain. I use a sling as got fed up of trying to carry DS and push an empty buggy. I see a lot of parents with young toddlers doing this so I think it must be common at this age. He is taking his first steps and I think resents being tied down when he wants to be independent... at least in a sling he is conversation height so it's more exciting for him.
DS likes vehicles so will sometimes do short buggy rides if you show him the wheels and make lots of brrm brrrmm noises...

Car journeys I try to time for when he's tired and pray he sleeps.... We also get the bus and train which he loves as isn't strapped in. What is her carseat like? I've noticed DS is happier in a more upright one (in my parents car) as he gets a good view out the back windscreen.

What is a good sling to use? I have tried a few but found none that do t hurt my back

If you could manage a week without the pushchair at all, that may be long enough to break the habit and for her to forget that she hates it.

I wouldn’t use a sling now, a structured back pack carrier will give you tons more support.

I have this one: www.amazon.co.uk/Lightweight-Outdoor-Carrier-available-Multicoloured/dp/B00J8MUER0/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=littlelife+carrier&sprefix=littlelife&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1579601549&sr=8-3

Does take a while for your back to get used to it, but is a godsend.

You need a sling with a good lumbar support so that your hips can take a lot of the weight. We've got the Ergobaby Adapt which I really like. Carry her on your back rather than on your front. This helps you to keep your body over your hips rather than being pulled forward with the child on your front.

If it's a big-ish pushchair, do you have a friend with a very minimal buggy you could test out? She might feel happier to be down nearer to the ground and less 'enclosed'

Just wanted to say I feel your pain!! My DD went through a stage of hating being in her pram or car seat too.

What about buying a trike: www.decathlon.co.uk/be-move-tricycle-id_8384791.html

Gives him the feeling of independence and you can still get from A to B by pushing him along?

I went through this and discovered mine loved her trike that I could push along. No point in making them go into a pushchair if they hate it!

I went through EXACTLY the same thing with my DD from 10 months until... actually I can’t remember when it stopped, because I think I blocked it out.

I didn’t drive and we were basically housebound because she’d scream and scream every time I took her for a walk. A sling was out of the question because she was too heavy, and besides, how are you supposed to carry a big baby AND a changing bag AND any groceries you needed to buy?

Like Lola suggested, we bought a trike and that was no better.

Sorry, I can’t offer any advice but I do really sympathise. I nearly lost my mind, not being able to leave the house without huge stress and anxiety.

She’s 8yo now and still a pain in the arse in lots of ways

Perhaps she’s learned you’ll remove her once she cries or gets upset?..I’d do small walks to park and don’t remove her unless it’s to play then back in and home for a nice snack. See how that works. I’ve never been able to use a sling for any length of time certainly not with a 13 month old but if you can manage there are sling library/lending services to try out the best for you. I had a double buggy for my youngest 2 they’d always go in because I couldn’t carry one and push it or the other one wanted out then they’d try and run off in opposite directions so probably were in a buggy longer than i should have, older ds3 didn’t walk until almost 2 so wasn’t really steady on his feet so I think he enjoyed his buggy youngest though liked to walk beside the buggy. All so different.
Hard work for now but I’m sure she’ll mellow once she realises you’re not going to back down or find another method of transporting her, not easy when you have shopping to do etc

What about letting her walk until she's tired and asks to go in the pram? It will take longer to get everywhere but at least it'll be fun.

A 13mo isn’t necessarily able to walk. Neither of my children could walk until 15-16m.

Have you thought about using a trike that has a handle so you can push it? Not quite as convenient as a pushchair, but she might feel more ‘in control’ (even though you actually are), and it’s a more upright sitting position than a pram.
My DD has one with a surround and proper harness so that she’s secure, and I probably wouldn’t walk miles with it but perfectly good for a quick shop. This one’s very similar to what I’ve got....
www.charlesbentley.com/trikestar-kid-s-trike-with-canopy-safety-guard-4-in-1-available-in-4-colours.html?fo_c=3176&fo_k=d804344b4fbefe38243ddb7de828ed23&fo_s=gplauk&gclid=CjwKCAiA35rxBRAWEiwADqB37-Alpj_EEvlEOFtlCqZA2fNAlx7T_qMoJGhMsNzQcNehwiESky_g7BoCiVQQAvD_BwE#138=10

Didn’t spot the other trike-lovers up thread, apologies! They really are awesome though!

What pushchair have you got? My eldest hated the big tank-like one we had starting when they were around a year old, but we got a Silvercross Zest and he was happy in that. Is there something about the one you have that's making your DC uncomfortable?

DD has always hated both. We could get away with the pushchair until she could walk but when she started walking, it was game completely over - and she walked at 10 months!

She's 18 months now and really, we don't put her in a pram anymore. She either walks or goes in trollies. She's ok in the pram outside but will scream as soon as we're inside any building.

She has an iPad attached to the front driver seat in the car playing Little Baby Bum now though and car journeys are a million times better, combined with her being forward facing (we didn't want to, but the screaming was too upsetting for us all) - would she like that?

I feel your pain, my 16 month old has never liked the pushchair, or car seat.
He walks loads but it’s hard work when nipping in shops on the high street,

I have kids CDs on in the car now which helps massively, otherwise I told car journeys with his naps.
In terms of giving him toys in the car, I let him go chose a toy to take in the car, which helps as he’s chosen it

He doesn’t like the trike either, which my mother in law bought before Christmas.

Dd2 was like that. By 13 months I just let her walk everywhere. Sometimes we had the buggy to put things in, but she rarely got in. I used reins on her, and she liked wearing them. Only thing was if she was tired she'd pull her legs up and dangle.
For car seat it was non-negotiable so she just had to scream, but we didn't have a car so that didn't happen often.