Ensuring no contact with family member

[hoorayforharoldlloyd]

We are updating our wills to specify who would look after our child in the event of our deaths and my partner would like to specify that one family member on his side should have no access to our child. We will be explaining why to my family but he is still concerned that people can be swayed by social convention etc to allow access.

Can we state that this particular person is not allowed to be in contact with our child, same as we would have ensured if we both live?

I'm sure I saw on another thread years ago that there is no legal way of ensuring this. Just verbal promising.

I am shamelessly plonking on your thread in the hopes someone comes along, as I have a similar issue, and would just like to know for future reference.

Well this person has no legal right yo access (partners sibling) so probably equally no legal way to say no.

We were wondering whether stating it again explicitly in the will mivht encourage my family not to feel pressure to be polite/assume things are fixable

It is a sibling in my case also.

I would not want them to have contact let alone custody and they would certainly assume to try for custody.

It probably seems silly that I have thought about it as it is more speculative on my part though, as I have not yet conceived though I hope to successfully conceive at some point.

It is worth thinking about - this one would never get custody above my family members due to state of relationship but my partner would like to be sure no contact at all.

For you, could you say exactly who you would want to have custody and then maybe specify in an additional letter why this sibling shouldn't have it? Might support a no if they tried to fight it. Is your chosen person/people for custody a shoo-in who would be seen as above board?

Discuss it with them? If you think they might be swayed choose someone else honestly

I'm sure I read on here that a court can disregard any such requests, and I've tried finding the legal link I read at the time and I can't, sorry, frustrating

I think the courts can disregard them if they think they are spurious so not allowing contact with the childs aunt because they nicked your teddy as a child = dismissed not allowing contact because she is a child murderer and paedophile = upheld

When I made my will the solicitor told me my wishes may not be upheld but if the person wanting access went to court, a judge would take my thoughts into account.
Gave me some reassurance although it wasn’t a guarantee.

We are building up to discussing as it means partner talking about something quite hard - which obviously means it has to be done as we don't want to pass that on!

Well the person in my family we're going to ask has been involved in safeguarding so should absolutely get it - but grief and social pressure can minimise.

Basically a male sibling used to masturbate in front of my partner when my partner was 6/7 and sibling was 14. Partner and sibling not really in touch, meet occasionally at parents. Sibling has met our child 3 times, partner initially tried to go for normal family but after last time met (at mum's house) felt very strongly afterwards that this was wrong and is now quite worried about it.

I think we will add letter to will and see if partner is happy for us to discuss with my direct family - if more than one person knows they can police/support each other.

I sincerely hope you both live to a ripe old age and none of your worries come to pass.