Please help with control of teens phone/wifi

[wifidatateens]

Please would you kindly share your top tips for control of phones/data/wifi for an SEN teen who is unable to self regulate at all.

Currently the whole family charge their phones downstairs overnight (now locked up as he was getting up in the night) and the only other electronic things in the house are shared xbox/tv and computer which are downstairs so nothing in bedrooms. However he is unable to do anything else whilst he has a phone during the day. Currently I turn the wifi off but there are still options on the phone without wifi.

Can I block the phone totally for example. I know he needs to learn to self regulate but he cant take the adhd medication that he wants to take as it affects other medication he has to take and despite lots of professional help he still struggles. I think he knows it will cause him not to get the GCSEs he wants but has no self control and then gets more frustrated. He can follow boundaries once they are set such as putting his phone on charge at night as long as we are 100% consistent which we have always been as he cannot cope otherwise.

No issues with any of his siblings who can all be reasoned with and are rational in understanding consequences.

Thank you.

Well you could try a Koala box to restrict WiFi access - it’s individual and can be set to homework mode and block social media or other sites, has time limits so on/off at set times per day - you can see usage and what they are doing etc

There’s accessibility on the phone, use this so they have to be on x site - also time limited. And password protected.

You can put him on maths websites for example.

Lead by example - no phones at the table for example.

TP-Link Deco M5 Whole Home Mesh Wi-Fi System, Up to 5500 sq ft Coverage, Compatible with Amazon Echo/Alexa, Antivirus Security Protection and Parental Controls, Pack of 3 www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071241G3R/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Z3mjEbZPDJRVK?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

With this you can restrict access to websites, set bedtimes, total screen times.

Is he using data when the wifi is off? Can you ask your mobile provider how they can help? Me and the DC all have EE accounts, I am the Controller and so can move data around the family - so I could gift their data to me on day 1 and gift it back (or not) as the month goes on. Usually I just leave their allowances as is but if one DC acts up then they can lose their data.

Thank you I had seen mention of koala which inspired my post here. That sounds ideal if he can do homework but not anything else.

I think he does minecraft off line if there is no wifi or chats to a friend on the phone. Is there any way to stop either of these activities with koala until he has packed his bag for school for example or whilst he uses show my homework app on the phone to check his homework. Or even just to turn phone off totally until he is ready.

Definitely no phones at the table in this house - I didn't even realize it was a thing until their friends have joined us for meals! TV/xbox is in a room that is rarely used. It is really only phone that is an issue for just this one of my 4 kids. We definitely lead by example as I dont have data on phone and only just changed to a smart phone!

He gets his phone in the morning when he is dressed as otherwise he was late for school. He puts it on charge downstairs before bath/bed/reading and is ok with this as very set routine. Main issue is around weekends and homework in evenings when routine varies as he doesnt cope well with variation and often there is no homework then he cant cope when he gets some.

If it’s an iPhone there’s info on this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/3788216-Can-you-block-social-media-on-an-iPhone

Android info here
support.google.com/families/answer/7103340?hl=en

I like the idea of being able to gift data - so could get it for good behaviour. Not sure this would work for us as we have different networks and phones but will look into that too. Thank you