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childlessness - trigger warning

2 replies

wheresmyrunningshoes · 19/01/2020 20:49

Hi, I've posted here for around a year. I first came looking for fertility information.

I'm 39, 40 this year, and it's dawning on me that I may in fact never have children.

This is sort of hitting me like a sledgehammer and I am in tears writing this.

I feel like a sort of useless, hopeless victim and I wonder if anyone can help me find some sense.

I had a relationship that ended eight years ago - my last one. I realise now that it was abusive. I spent the time after that giving myself security in the sense of work and my home. I then had a diagnosis which has taken me a while to recover from. I also withdrew from a difficult family situation, and had some mental health blips. And now the painful reality of how much I want a family has hit.

I am going on dates but the chances of me meeting a decent guy I feel connected with, building a life together, and having a baby, feel so remote.

I know there are never any guarantees whatever the time of life, but I just feel so lost. I really just want to love someone to be honest. I feel really broken. Does anyone understand this? When does it get better?

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 19/01/2020 20:52

Can you afford to have a child independently? If I was you I would not let lack of man stop me from becoming a mother.

PlayingGrownUp · 19/01/2020 20:53

Personally I’m child free by choice so I’m afraid I’ve little advice for you but you may want to check out Gateway Women - they are an excellent site for women who aren’t parents for whatever reasons and provide excellent support. I’m told their infertility support is second to none.

I hope you have loads of great replies.

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