Any one able to advise on ADHD please?

[peanutdust]

Hi I'm posting as I'm hoping someone could give me some advise please on what to expect.

My DD is nearly 5 and has been at school since September.

In this time of her being there, there has been a few occasions regarding my DD and her hurting another child all of these incidents has involved an older girl who is nearly Year 6, my DD is in reception they share a mixed age playground at lunch which is another post for another day.

We recently found out that this child has been bullying my DD and no steps have been taken to keep her away from my DD which is horrible to know and for her to go through my DD has been hitting her back which I know is wrong.

The school have now said they think my DD has ADHD as she struggles to listen and sit still in the class room, however I don't believe this to be true as she gets a daily behaviour chart from her teacher and is starred every day on keeping her hands and feet to herself and sitting and listening These are the only behaviours they've listed on why they believe she has ADHD.

She is fine at home she has a sister who is a little younger who plays together with her they share, she plays with other kids off all ages just fine.

I really don't want my daughter labelled as something when I don't think she has that it just seems really unfair.
She goes to bed at a normal time gets up happy can sit still for meals out, does her homework, helps around the house, can sit still to watch films and walks nicely next to me in the supermarket.

The school are really pushing the ADHD thing and have referred her for an assessment but even what they've wrote on the form about sitting and listening is different to her actual teacher who says she's fine.

For the last two years she attended a nursery daily and no issues were picked up at all, they have offered to write a letter stating this and how she was able to listen, wait turns etc and share and never ever hit another child at all.

If she does have it of course I want help for her but I honestly don't think she does everything I've read is not her.

If it does come back saying she does have it what happens next? I'm scared I'll loose her or they'll force meds on her something

From what I understand of ADHD assessment there is a questionaire for the parents and one for the school. The parent's input into the assessment is really important and she would be unlikely to get a label when you are saying she is fine outside of school.

Thank you the Assessment is being done under CAMHs

ADHD would not be diagnosed in a child this young and NICE guidelines do not advise this. Any diagnosis (at an older age) would consider school and home questionnaires (conners) and educational attainment. No one can force medication on your child without your consent and whilst the school might “push it” your consent must be obtained. There may be something she’s going in if your daughter is being bullied by an older child that they need to consider. Ask them to look into this. I’m an NHS CAMHS manager btw

Else going on I meant to say!

@MrsTHardy Thank you so much for your reply the letter they've sent home for me to sign is a CAMHS referral for a neuro developmental assessment for possible ADHD. I believe it's the bullying that's making her like this because surely she couldn't just switchy this behaviour on and off. She was completely fine at nursery and everywhere else before starting this school

There seem to be two issues here. The older girl seemingly bullying/targeting your daughter and their assumption that she has ADHD. Or are they saying that the issues are somehow linked?

Also there seems to be a contradiction - your daughter getting praised for sitting and listening yet they are of the opinion that she has ADHD?! I would find this very confusing.

You need to arrange a meeting with the teacher and/or head to discuss this further

@VisionQuest Hi thjs is my problem I've got her reward chart things next to me and they are all starred but on the official letter says she can't sit still or listen so which one is it? and they are saying the behaviour is linked and she's still around this girl every day I really don't want my daughter in a shared playground with children who are double her age.

I think I will ask for another meeting as we had the meeting this week and bt the next morning the referral was given to us to sign

I hate to suggest this but have the school identified the correct child? Is there another 'Emma' in your child's class?

It's defo her we had a meeting to talk about it all, I bought up the bullying and they dismissed it and said well we would like the assessment done.
I mean she does talk a lot but only when she's excited and sometimes she does move around a lot but it's when she's bored or something my siblings are the same and so are my friends kids it's so weird.

It’s quite early in general for ADHD to be brought up and even more unusual for it to be brought up for a girl.

Nursery - they probably had nearly all free play so not really comparable.

Daily behaviour chart means there is a reason for one. Unless all the children have one?

Seeing children in a large group of same age does highlight things that you don’t see at home. We all get used to our own child and adapt.

Nothing medication wise can happen without your consent and it’s highly unlikely any diagnosis would happen before 8. They might be able to have a better idea how to help her though if they an assessment.

@CatalogueUniverse That does make sense about the nursery but they had structured lessons and outings and she was ok but then again a lot of free time.
And the behaviour chart has started since she kept hitting this child back and they said it would help her stop but it hasn't when the kid is still bloody walloping her and spitting at her constantly.

My ds wasn't dx with adhd until he was 8 and we'd been having concerns for 2 years beforehand. The questionnaires and the dx is clear that the behaviours have to be present in more than one place, i.e. school and home (I think this is to ensure that the adhd symptoms aren't a result of poor classroom management or parenting) and have been the same for more than (I think?) 6 months.

That doesn't sound like your dd's case at all to me. She's also very young, presumably only in reception/late foundation, and many children of that age struggle to sit still for more than 5-10 minutes which is why the majority of learning at that stage is child-led, continuous provision based.

Have you had a meeting with the sendco and possibly the headteacher as well as the class teacher? Ask them what they're doing to protect your dd from the other child and to keep her safe. When you get the questionnaire fill it in as honestly as possible and talk through your concerns with the paediatrician if it gets that far.

Let them waste ther money if your confident she doesnt have issues

Make sure when your spoken to that you mention the bullying

My daughter is also 5 and is autistic. I strongly suspect she has some kind of attention disorder but her paediatrician has said that the youngest they diagnose ADHD is 6 so they are just monitoring it for the time being. Therefore I'd be extremely surprised even if the school are pushing it, that a referral would go anywhere. Your DD would be extremely young to be diagnosed with this.

As someone who's child is now going through ADHD assessment, I would say in my experience the school haven't been too quick to jump to the conclusion of there being something underlying. So if the school are doing a referral, I would take it seriously. Especially at this age.

My DS is in YR2 and will be 7 this year. He has had issues the school have 'kept an eye' on since reception. It is only this school year he was sent for a referral. My DS can sit still for long periods of time. He can share with his brother, take turns, show compassion, follow rules and we have grown accustomed to his personality. He also talks incessantly at a loud volume. He interrupts every one. He cannot concentrate on certain tasks for long periods of time. He paces the front room. He blatantly ignores some instructions. He is impulsive with no sense of danger. He is not the text book symptoms in every scenario.

I know it's easy for me to say, but wait and see what the assessment says. School may or may not be correct but the assessment will be done by a professional.

Girls do generally present differently to boys, and it's possible she has add, rather than adhd, if any at all. It's also possible they are referring to the impulsiveness she defends herself with, rather than because they are accusing her of lashing out in the classroom.

If you don't have prior knowledge/ experience of adhd, a lot of the general stuff that's out there tends to be about the stereotype of naughty boy syndrome and unorganised adults, but in reality it's much more complex. Just because she doesn't conform to the lazy stereotype, doesn't mean she can't have it. And even if she does, it doesn't mean she has to be medicated.

Thank you for all these replies really appreciate them I guess what will be will be but it's hard to take in because it just seems so intense at her age to be trying to diagnose something and I worry if she does have it, what does this mean for her as an adult? Will she struggle with life etc

It doesn't have to be a negative if she does have it. There are things I struggle with that nt people don't, but there are other areas where it's an advantage. Personally if someone could wave a magic wand and get rid of my adhd, there is no way I'd want to.

That's not to say everyone feels the same, but for me, having been dx as a child I was already aware of the advantages in my situation, before I was aware that others didn't have the same challenges.

The school have now said they think my DD has ADHD as she struggles to listen and sit still in the class room, however I don't believe this to be true as she gets a daily behaviour chart from her teacher and is starred every day on keeping her hands and feet to herself and sitting and listening

What you need to understand, is the very fact she has a daily behaviour chart, is an indication there is an issue. The school will have set her targets that are achievable for her - ie, that she is being reminded to 'keep her hands and her feet to herself' for the time they are on the carpet, and, if she manages it for the short time they have set, then she is 'rewarded' with the star. The way it works is that the length of time gets longer and / or the prompts and reminders get fewer, to begin to work towards "keeping her hands and feet to herself" becoming the way she normally behaves.
The fact she has this chart in the first place indicates there is clearly an issue there.

I agree with pp about CAMHS and ADHD diagnosis. Most authorities won't diagnose ADHD under the age of about 7 or 8, as much of the behaviour is the same behaviour you would expect to see in 2,3,and 4 yr olds.

The playground issue is a separate issue, which you should definitely talk to the school about.