Inviting 10 out of 18 in class

[QuinkInk]

DS is turning 7 and really wants his birthday at a place that has a minimum number of 10 (can be less but you'll pay for 10), and to be honest that's all we can afford.

There are 18 (all boys) in his class. Most have had whole class parties so far. But most are wealthier than we are.

There are 10 boys DS actually wants to invite. He really wants all of them invited and can't think of anyone to leave off.

BUT it works out to over the "half the class or all" rule But we aren't leaving out just 1 or 2... And I doubt anyone will be counting up exactly who has been invited accurately enough to differentiate between 9 or 10... It feels a bit silly to tell him to cut out a friend he actually wants there.

...Is this acceptable?

I think if most have had all class parties I’d keep it that way tbh.

Could you ask for a contribution to the event in leu of presents?

Yes, totally.

But then I'm a firm believer in inviting actual friends to parties.

I think 10 out 18 is fine.

Could you ask for a contribution to the event in leu of presents?

OMG please don't do that!

Your poor child may become a laughing stock and you the CF parent.

Totally fine to me. The only trouble i’m seeing is that if you invite only 10, be prepared that a maximum of 7 will turn up 🤦‍♀️

10 out of 18 is fine.

It’s fine

It's fine. Leaving out one or two is not ok but half the class is fine

Fair dos, just trying to think of a way that keeps everything ticking over nicely.

It’s fair enough if everybody is only inviting some but if everyone is doing the whole class thing, then one doesn’t it is probably a bit hurtful for those not invited. But I’m probably overthinking.

That’s fine. Don’t get worked up about other people’s feelings.

Does your son not count as 1 person so really you only need to invite 9

At that I wouldn't. Half the class will be talking about the party and the others will feel left out. I think 6/7 is too little. 8+ yes I would.

10 out of 18 is fine.

I wouldn’t at 7. I would invite all

Thanks for the speedy replies! Much appreciated.

For pp who've said to invite all - that is not an option, we can't afford it. If the consensus was that 10/18 was not OK, we would cut down on invitees to an acceptable level, not increase to the whole class.

Definitely won't be asking for contributions

Yes DS counts as 1 so we don't "need" to invite 10, he wants to as those are the boys he is friendly with.

10 out of 18 is fine. I always ask my kids to pick about that number for parties. It get out of hand otherwise. I'm not willing to spend £300 on a kids party!

It's fine.

You could invite 10 but that doesn't mean 10 will come. Then you'll have to invite a couple more and then the numbers will get much closer to 18 with a real chance of making a handful of kids feel really left out...

Could you tell his best friends about it in a save the date kind of way then send out the invites just 2 weeks before in the hope that many of them will already have plans?!

I don't mind if only 7 or so come, it's the sort of activity where it doesn't matter. I would just feel it's a bit of a waste to pay for 10 and have 7 when there are boys he actually wanted there, but we'd stopped him from inviting them to avoid offending others.

If it's relevant, the boys not on the list aren't those who tend to be left out. They just have different interests to DS and don't really play together.

Agree 10 out of 18 boys is fine... Its actually 10 out of a class of 30 i pressume so really not a problem.

Sorry cross-posted - we won't be inviting more if people can't come.

We always invited 10 or 15, depending on the rules of the venue. My son always accepted that he didn’t get invited to every party and there were a couple of children. In his class that I would never have invited, due to bullying of DSs good friend. Personally I think it’s fine to invite those you choose/can afford.

Could you ask for a contribution to the event in leu of presents?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Can you just imagine the CF posts if she did. it was bad enough the other week with the 40th birthday party!!

happytoday73 sorry no it's 18 children full stop - it's an all-boys school.

It's fine. Enough are not coming for nobody to feel excluded, and age 7, year 2 I presume, is old enough to not have to do whole class parties and for children to understand that they can't always expect to be invited.