Is anyone else finding that things are far less black and white as they get older?

[ElderAve]

I've always considered in have a strong moral compass, both in terms of my own conduct and my expectations of others. I always thought this was a good thing.

However, looking back it probably just made me judgements and lacking in empathy.

For example, I always thought people who had affairs were beyond the pale, now I can see that unhappy people lose their way, make mistakes, try to keep everyone happy, get into situations they can't get out of and can have some sympathy for people trying to carry on in difficult circumstances, which I think in most cases are making them as miserable as anyone else involved. And no, I'm not one of them!

Even people who are rude or unpleasant in the street/shop/at work, I can see they're not happy people. It doesn't make it right but it doesn't necessarily make them "bad".

I completely agree. I cringe at the blanket statements I've made in the past. It must come from believing that you need to form an opinion in things - as you learn to appreciate more factors, it's very difficult to come down on one side of anything.

I find I tend to be sitting on the fence about most things now!

I've got more judgemental with age and tend to ditch (distance myself from) people who don't behave in a way I see as respectful and acceptable. I seem to have impossibly high expectations and struggle to be empathetic. I live people but struggle to tolerate them (if that makes sense). I hate it. I wish I was more accepting and less judgy. It's making me bitter.

*love not live. Sorry.

I agree - I think I’m more tolerant and more likely to see where people I disagree with may be coming from, and I’m definitively less unequivocal.

Unfortunately DH seems to be going in the opposite direction....

I feel as though I am less sure of anything as I get older.

I might be the other way in some ways. In the past I was a people pleaser and I wanted people to like me. As I have got older I have become more confident and able to set boundaries. I find as a result I may not have as many friendships, but they are better ones. I have always been able to see shades of grey so wasn't always judgemental but I find now I see more patterns in behavior that let me assess someone