Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Things you're amazed aren't more widely known/ common misconceptions perpetuated by popular culture etc

299 replies

wangernum · 19/01/2020 15:16

This isn't about how the young people at work don't know what the capital of Spain is, or that the petrol indicator on the car dashboard tells you what side your petrol cap is on, etc. More things that you didn't know at one point, but having learned about it (or more likely - experienced it yourself) can't see why it isn't more widely known.

My examples:
Diagnosing of gallstones. My GP failed to diagnose my dreadful gallstone pain, in the end (after suffering for years) I asked a forum like this about my symptoms and loads of people said it's probably gallstones. I went to a different GP and said 'I think it could be gallstones' and it was - got the gallbladder removed and not had a problem since.
Anyway, since then I realise the symptoms are fairly obvious (I know it's hard to describe pain but from my own experience I know what sort of questions to ask) yet there are always threads on here about how gallstones didn't get suggested by a doctor/got missed, a friend of mine also had similar experience just not knowing what this indescribable pain was. How on earth do doctors not know to suggest/check for gallstones? It seems really common?

Other misconceptions:
Waters going just before you're about to give birth (most people who've had children probably know this isn't accurate! My waters had to be broken when I was in labour!) This still happens on TV all the time!

Schizophrenia = multiple personality disorder. It's not.

Breastfeeding - so much I had no idea about! How painful it can be to start with. That babies need feeding all the time! I did an NCT breastfeeding class and I still felt that it was based on a lot of assumed knowledge (that I didn't have!). Even calling formula feeding 'bottle-feeding' but it not actually being about feeding from a bottle but the fact it's formula not breastmilk.

Colic - that it's a medical problem or indigestion, reflux etc. It's hard to tell from a lot of the stuff that's written about it but it just means lots of unexplained crying (usually at certain times etc, well it was in my experience). I actually found that 'purple crying' was a better explanation: purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php

Bit more obscure but d-mer.org/ - D-MER - very specific feeling of sadness when breastfeeding. I wish I'd known about this with my first baby!

Another example might be anyone that still thinks 'common-law wife' is a thing. Although I don't see many people using that phrase apart from to point out it's not a thing (legally etc)!

OP posts:
BeyondFlubeInclusionaryRF · 19/01/2020 19:39

I realise I'm switching back and forth between posting the myth and posting the facts. Oops, sorry about that Blush

newyearnoeu · 19/01/2020 19:39

Badyboo - yes, agree with misconception that people marrying and having children much later nowadays is a historical outlier - people are convinced that back in ye olden days all girls were married off aged 12 to a male 20 years older than them, whereas actually in most of western europe, from c. 14th c at least to about 1940s, most women were at least in their early twenties when they married, usually to someone close to their own age, lots married even later, many never married, etc. see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_European_marriage_pattern

Same with assumption that nearly all women would have been virgins before marriage - parish registers show a huge correlation between wedding and then birth of first child c. 3-8 months later - would have been good practice for men to be fairly sure the girl they were courting was fertile before committing themselves to marriage.

of course this misconception comes from the media which usually focuses on the 1% of royals/nobles, who would have been more likely to marry early for political advantage and would have been expected to be virginal. Far less films, tv, and novels written about the lives of the peasants!

ShowOfHands · 19/01/2020 19:40

My DS laughed from birth and it completely freaked me out. The midwife said it was utterly normal and a reflex.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BeyondFlubeInclusionaryRF · 19/01/2020 19:40

Yy showy - "if you can pick a £50 note up off the floor, it's not 'flu" is nonsense.

Gotaprettypup · 19/01/2020 19:43

I'm amazed at the number of people who think homeless people get an extra amount for their dog..

I was told in all seriousness by someone that that is why so many have dogs...to get extra money...Hmm I worked for DHSS, as it was at the time, but still see the urban myth even now.

SarahAndQuack · 19/01/2020 19:44

@sparklingbrook, one of DP's sisters thought coke had literal fat in it until recently.

My misconceptions are:

  • A deed poll costs money.
  • A deed poll has to be witnessed by a solicitor.
  • Back in 'olden times' people all died around age 30, because life expectancy was shorter.
  • Christianity has always considered abortion a major sin, and it's been illegal until very recently.
  • If you are in an unmarried same-sex relationship and you and your partner have a child, you must adopt that child or you have no rights.
whoopstheregomyinsides · 19/01/2020 19:46

To be fair when I had flu I couldn't have picked up any amount of money. I had to psyche myself up for hours before attempting to crawl for a wee
I believe another misconception is that "could of "and "could have" are both correct and interchangeable . I see "could of " all the time now. It pains me because it isn't right. It's "could have". But that's me veering into spelling and stuff.
As for BF it was so much harder and more painful than I expected

whoopstheregomyinsides · 19/01/2020 19:48

I'm getting confused now with what's truth and what's wrong now too!

Echobelly · 19/01/2020 19:50

Not everyone who observes a religion believes in God, and other religions are not observed/lived the same as Christianity

Musmerian · 19/01/2020 19:51

@Helini - bit unfair of you. Some people do find bf easy - not goady or smug.

Cuddling57 · 19/01/2020 19:51

My DB in law called the emergency services from a phone showing 'no signal'.
So still try!
I guess your own phone only shows if your network is available as it's not trying to pick up the others. But you could still pick up the other networks when dialling emergency services (aka the most amazing people ever)!

RandomMess · 19/01/2020 19:52

That DC removed from parents due to neglect or abuse will not be fixed by "a bit of love" many are emotionally brain damaged, the more they research this more the findings support that.

What is a painful/difficult event for some can cause PTSD or complex PTSD in others. Just because you had a tough childhood and are ok in adulthood doesn't mean everyone can.

iklboo · 19/01/2020 19:53

To be fair when I had flu Tom Hardy could have been doing a fab dance with a bunch of £50 notes and I've have told him to come back later Grin

BertieBotts · 19/01/2020 19:54

US maternity hospitals do have waiting rooms! I learned this from pregnancy forums on Reddit :o

BertieBotts · 19/01/2020 19:58

And YY full fat coke is a joke - it's based on when milk used to be called full fat/half fat etc.

joyfullittlehippo · 19/01/2020 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Graphista · 19/01/2020 20:03

One which I’ve come across a lot as an army brat and then an army wife - or rather a collection of commonly believed myths under a very similar topic is one Lowri turner got torn to shreds for after stating it on the bloody Wright stuff!

That military families living in quarters (housing provided to serving personnel with families by the mod) don’t pay rent or bills! Including council tax!

Utter bollocks!

The rent is slightly subsidised but is on a par with social housing rates generally speaking. Council tax is paid exactly the same as other families as is every other bill!

In addition military families have to do a “march out” (supposedly no longer happens/called something else now but in reality still exists, just standards are lower now which while easier on the family moving out means a pain for the family moving in who may well have to do it twice!) which is basically returning the property to EXACTLY the same condition it was in when you moved in - cleaned to within an inch of its life (use of old toothbrushes, dental tools, specially shaped dusters etc) “in my day” such that an officer inspecting could wear white gloves and run a finger along any part of the house and not so much as find a little dust. Also any decorating you’ve done outside the standard colours/type/quality the mod uses has to be “reversed” so if you’ve wallpapered it needs completely stripped, walls treated and walls repainted with the same paint as before (usually magnolia) or if you’ve painted a vibrant colour you needed to whitewash and repaint. Hence why many didn’t bother but added colour with curtains, wall decorations (any holes made have to be filled and made whole again), the colour of your other furnishings.

Personal bugbear - the way mc is portrayed on tv/film - almost ALWAYS dramatic, painful, obvious, has an obvious “cause” like a fall down stairs or getting hit in the stomach. Not my experience at all. Both times started with painless bleeds. No obvious cause (I wish! It’s heartbreaking not knowing definitely why), 2nd was almost “silent” as it was one spot of blood but as I’d mc before and had Gynae issues (At that point no known dx) and I was very anxious they did a scan and saw the sac etc but no heartbeat.

Don’t even get me STARTED on mental illness generally and ocd in particular! Tv & film very much give the impression ocd is all about bloody handwashing closely followed by switching lights on and off, they (from all portrayals I’ve seen) fail to even mention intrusive thoughts, the constancy of it, the anxiety over not trusting your own memory, that there aren’t 2 different types (checking & cleaning/germs) when actually most sufferers have a “bit of everything”, a mixture of things going on.

I’ve been extremely ill for last few years, been waiting since April to get a new cpn or other support. It’s really appalling at the moment.

@2monstermash - I still frequently come across people who think women legally HAVE to take their husbands name upon marriage - clearly they aren’t mners as its constantly discussed on here

So do you mean my name hasn't changed in the eyes of the law through marriage? “Eyes of the law” is not really a “thing”. But yes unless you have informed eg the passport office, dvla, drs, any benefits agencies then as far as they’re concerned you kept your old name.

Invisible disability - dd and I both disabled, both invisibly so. Sick to back teeth of idiots arguing with us if we DARE to use a lift (that’s not restricted to the disabled!) or use disabled loos (if the normal loos are too hard for us to access). My aunt even as a pensioner gets this shit! She has a heart condition so has to limit mobility for her health and she gets the same shit.

And yes when I was temporarily in a wheelchair following an op I did notice people speaking to me slowly as if I were stupid, ignoring me altogether and speaking to dd or my mum instead, moving me out of their way without a by your leave!

Re waters breaking - my mother - the eldest of 6 children and over 30 cousins said to the person who told her that back pain meant she was in labour “I can’t be it’s too early and my waters haven’t gone” even though she KNEW that didn’t always happen early on. But I was 5 weeks early based on Edd (that turned out to be slightly wrong they think) so I think she was just a bit thrown in the moment.

‘“I projectile vomited’. No, you probably didn’t. Projectile vomiting is quite rare and normally caused by a specific condition.” True but does happen. I had a nurse say much the same to me when I took Dd into a&e with projectile vomiting as one symptom - then dd promptly made a liar of her with great timing 😂

Yes rare but does happen.

“If it hurts you’re doing it wrong” re bf pisses me off! Most of us don’t have instantly tough nipples! It takes time to get used to, I honestly think this one sentence seriously damaged bf rates in this country.

That married women didn’t work before around the 60’s! - bollocks! Working class married women have always worked they bloody had to! Especially before the welfare state existed!

On a similar note that men back then did NOTHING in the home. An argument myself and a couple of others frequently make on lazy arse husband threads where people are referencing old sex based division of labour. They DID do the “men’s” work, any job deemed heavy or particularly taxing physically, or technical or mechanical or practical was considered the man’s job. Also that they had NO part in raising children - yes women did the bulk of it especially with babies and toddlers but as the children aged, especially boys they took a greater role in child rearing.

“never a friend, spouse, or lover, no siree.” Omg yes! My friend - a sometimes wheelchair using person with cerebral palsy - has had appalling reactions to the very IDEA she might dare to be sexually active - even from hcps! Inc on one occasion being denied the pill - because she couldn’t possibly find someone who’d WANT to have sex with her was the implication!

Menstrual cycle and how the pill works, I’ve mentioned before on here my ex’s extreme ignorance on this but loads of men my generation and older are CLUELESS on this - the result I fear of embarrassed parents and sex Ed classes that were delivered separately to boys and girls and they were only told the stuff about their sex. I’ve also come across women who have no idea how the male reproductive system works and then end up believing shite like “blue balls” and that condoms kill erections!

“that teachers stop working when the kids leave for the day/term.” Yep! I’ve a number of friends/family who are teachers who HATE this one! They work really bloody hard and the “oh but you get so much holiday time” really gets their goat.

That it’s easy to get disability benefits or indeed any benefits! That if you’re in receipt of benefits you can’t work too! SO many misconceptions, many many threads on here about supposed “benefit fraud” where the op turns out to be COMPLETELY clueless inc one recently who referred to “single parent benefit” which doesn’t and to the best of my knowledge never did exist!

Filling in forms and fighting the system to get disability benefits was about as tough as my PhD thesis. totally agree! I only have 2 undergrad degrees and a few postgrad Quals roughly equating masters - I don’t even attempt to do them myself! I always get help from a qualified and well informed agency.

That “shelter” only help people who are street homeless. They’re a fantastic charity who help homeless, tenants and homeowners in many ways AND campaign for legal changes to eg get people better protections as tenants.

“That an emergency c section is not an emergency but just one that wasn’t planned before labour” strictly speaking true, but not of all emcs. Mine really was, Labour was progressing slowly but normally when dd and I both very suddenly were in serious trouble completely unpredictably - went from hcps being happy for it to progress naturally if slowly to within 10/15 mins my being in theatre being cut!

Completely agree that natural =/= benign!

Numerous plants are toxic even to the touch, naturally occurring acids will still burn you etc

Don’t even get me started on anti-Vaxxers crap! Vaccines reduce risk of catching & severity if caught they don’t make it impossible to get the infection! “X had their dc vaccinated and they STILL got measles” 🙄

That only the well known things that cause allergies can cause allergies - no you can literally be allergic to anything even plain water. I have some really odd skin allergies and meds ones too - which even bloody drs have challenged! I generally respond by saying something like “ok then I’ll fill the prescription, take it in the waiting room and you can treat the resulting severe reaction immediately - save me a trip to a&e!” Twats!

“Same with assumption that nearly all women would have been virgins before marriage” I believe especially true in Scotland at certain points in history. Certainly true in my family, I was born 6.5 months after parents wedding. Relatives on each side of family looking into family history and have found quite a few first (and in some cases 2nd+) babies born 6 months or less after the wedding - that’s if there was actually a wedding at all! Lots pretended to be married or just let others assume they were married but relatives have found zero evidence of a wedding in the case of a fair few couples in the family tree.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 19/01/2020 20:04

One that really annoys me is when people say ‘Oh, evolution is just a theory’ - like it’s just an idea Darwin has that doesn’t really hold any weight.

A scientific theory is something that can be tested and verified using the scientific method, and that produces predictable results. It’s very different from the everyday use of the word theory!

joyfullittlehippo · 19/01/2020 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahAndQuack · 19/01/2020 20:20

The evolution thing is reminding me (by association of ideas):

  • People who think all Christians must believe in the literal word of the Bible (whatever that might be). Historically and globally, really not a common Christian tenet.
AlexaAmbidextra · 19/01/2020 20:21

Wait, what does Alexa say about chemotherapy?

Joyful. What bit didn’t you understand? Happy to clarify. Smile

Thekindyoufindinasecondhand · 19/01/2020 20:23

@graphista yes I understand there isn't really such a thing as 'in the eyes of the law' I just meant generally, legally do I need to change my name. Understand about passports etc was just checking if I had misunderstood and was walking around with a fake name Grin

SarahAndQuack · 19/01/2020 20:31

Legally, in the UK, you can use whatever name you like, so long as you're not doing it to defraud anyone.

Practically, your marriage cert is a nice convenient way to convince people you're not doing it to defraud anyone.

But, in theory, you could just start using a name. There's no law against it.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 19/01/2020 20:33

The idea that we lose insert majority percentage here of body heat through our heads is a myth - we lose no more heat per square centimetre of scalp than any other part of our bodies.

PlushPlush · 19/01/2020 20:34

@SarahAndQuack Well yes you can use whatever name you want but it won't be your legal name unless you get it changed by deed poll. Your passport, bank cards, etc will always need to be in your legal name.