Sleepovers- strict about bedtime?

[Chilver]

Our only child often has sleepovers, both here at home and at friend's houses. They are 7/8 years old.

Sometimes I feel I am being too strict about the fact they need to go to sleep at a reasonable hour as I will go in multiple times (if necessary) to stop them talking and threaten sanctions on my child (which they know I'll follow through on) after a certain time. Which isn't really fair either when it's sometimes not my child keeping them awake.

Tonight, my child finally went to sleep (but an hour after I told them lights out!), but the other child is still awake!!!

Obviously I cant do anything about this child now other than offer milk, teddy, quiet etc but what do you do at a sleepover - leave them to it as tiredness is part and parcel of a sleepover, or let them have fun before bed, but bedtime is bedtime and tell them off if needs be?

YABU if there is nothing planned the next day

Let them be. It’s Sunday tomorrow

I let them stay up a good bit later (eg usual bedtime 8, let them stay up till 10) but when it’s bedtime, it’s bedtime!!

Yes they are only young but the point of a sleepover is to chat to your friends and stay up later than usual.

Yikes! Seems I might be too strict then .

Yes you are. Sleepovers are supposed to be fun and parents do not interrupt unless there are signs of something awful happening. Staying awake and chatting, laughing, is normal.

I'd let them stay up - that's part of the fun! But if one falls asleep then the other one can just lie there until they do - I would not be entertaining them.

Yabu. How long has your child been asleep?? No way would I expect 7/8 year olds to be asleep yet on a sleepover even at this time. I don’t think I’ve managed to settle any we’ve had before midnight at the earliest. And I doubt this child is enjoying being awake whilst her friend is asleep, they are obviously struggling to sleep in a new house, you can’t complain about them not being awake at an ‘unreasonable’ hour if they can’t sleep. I solved the keeping the awake children entertained problem by making sure whichever child at the time is having a sleepover has a tv/dvd player or laptop in the room, so they can play movies until everyone falls asleep

I’ve only ever interrupted when it’s been literally early hours and their chatting loud enough to keep me awake. Otherwise I’ll go to bed and leave them in their bedroom with DVD’s, snacks and drinks

Following as wondering the same!

I think it depends on frequency. If your kid is having sleepovers every couple of weeks, I’d try to get into a semi-reasonable routine. If it’s once in a blue moon though, leave them to it!

They are fairly frequent (as being an only child we want to offer the company) but I also see how my child is the next day(s) when tired. Also, this other child tonight said early on that her mother had banned sleepovers with another friend as they didnt go to sleep early enough!! So, perhaps I was being too cautious tonight (first sleepover with this particular friend).
My child went to sleep circa 9.45 and it was circa 10.30 when the other child went off. Both normally have lights out at 7.30/8pm on a normal night.

I think that’s really early and you’ve done really well. They get so excited and can’t settle or stop chatting in a new house with their friend. I think you’ve got off lucky there. Definitely don’t feel like you have to keep them entertained next time though. If you’re popping your head in every 5 minutes checking on them or fetching things then you’re likely to make it worse

When dd had sleepovers if they were noisy and it was getting really late I would appear at the door with a blanket and tell them if they weren't quiet I would sleep in the room with them! Seemed to do the trick!

Meh. Bedtime is when they want, usually between 11-12. They usually rise around 9-10 in the morning, unless it was one little fucker delight who woke everyone at 5.45

DS has a friend over now. They went to bed at around midnight, conked out pretty much straight away (it's his best friend, he's had sleepovers here before, so quite comfortable). They woke at 8'30, currently playing Lego and mildly shrieking We're taking them to a big indoor playground thing later, child getting collected at 6. I expect DS will be in bed by 8'30 and read until 9-9.30 as usual.

They're both 8yo.

My 8 year old DD has had only 1 friend for a sleepover but she fell to sleep at 12ish and the child could not sleep and didn't drift off until 3am, I had to alternate talking to her with my husband as I was shattered as we'd both been working, up at 6 all week and it was a Friday night. Equally, she said she normally sleeps with the light on which was a problem for my DD who likes to sleep in the dark. My DD slept at another friend's house, couldn't sleep at all as the cat kept lying on her face and got up at 2am to find a parent, found the Dad and said, 'I'd quite like to go home now please.' He explained that at 2am that probably was not a possibility . I think it is a funny age for sleepovers, IME they are not quite old enough to be left to it but I don't know if that's because nobody that I know hosts them until about 7/8 with school friends.

Plus the next day is a right off when they've been up until 3am, there has been a temporary halt on them from her friend's parents for this reason.

Nope . I don’t think yabu. Later bedtime . At 7& 8no sleep makes them very grumpy.

Later than normal yes but letting a 7 year old decide bedtime 🤦‍♂️

My 10 year old had her first sleepover here last weekend. She's usually in bed by 8.30-9pm.

Anyway they slept in the lounge so we all vacated it around 8pm, left them with snacks and the movie channels.

At 11pm I told them it was time to sleep, because a) that's plenty late enough and b) I knew my 7 & 8 year olds would be up and downstairs by 6am at the latest and c) i have to be up & out by 9am on a Sunday so would also be downstairs fairly early.

Well, by 3.30am i had begun to lose my sense of humour. My dd was texting me saying she's desperate to sleep but her friend wouldn't let her and no matter how many time I went down this girl wouldnt stop and she wasn't quiet about it either.

My dd has said she never wants her for a sleepover again.

Phew, they didnt wake up to early - about 7.45am and seem in good spirits. Next time I will be a little more relaxed on bedtime (but not past 11pm at this age I think!)

@Hellvelyn, love that approach!!!