Having another baby after maternity leave

[babysnowman]

I'll be returning to work from maternity leave soon. I'll be just turned 35 and DD will be 10 months. While I was off work I was offered a promotion to a great new role. I didn't apply for it but was internally headhunted (if that's a thing), and it's a huge company.

I want a second baby and it has always been my plan to try to have them close together...I'm aware of my age though and it took a couple of years and two miscarriages before we were blessed with DD. As such, I'd like to start trying again soon.

I don't think it would be much of a surprise for me to have another baby and be off for maternity leave again, but am nervous about the timing. I'm worried about how it would perceived my new boss and colleagues if I was to fall pregnant shortly after returning (as in, within a few months). A lot of faith has been put in me with this new role and I don't want to let anybody down. At the same time however, I don't have time to wait around.

I know that from a legal perspective I can't be discriminated against for pregnancy or maternity related reasons. Ultimately, I know that I need to put my family first. I still worry though that I'd be letting people down or would be seen to be taking the mick.

If anyone has any words of wisdom/ encouragement to put my mind at ease that would be greatly appreciated!

I think you'll be pushing the friendship with this job and if you fall pregnant quickly some people will resent you.

Of course you can't be legally discriminated against but if your company wants you out, they will make life your miserable.

Life is short though op. If you want a second child go for it and if you have to find a new job as a result I'm sure you'll find one.

Even if you fall pregnant straight away, you'll be back at work for 9 months which is definitely enough to make inroads into a new job. You're right you need to put your family first, and be realistic - what's the worst that could happen? They clearly think well of you, I doubt you'll diminish that opinion by having another period of mat leave

I returned to work from a year maternity leave and had another baby nine months later. Returned from a years maternity leave again and then 18 months later went off to have another baby... so my view is probably a bit biased but I'd say go for it. Mine was all in the same job, so slightly different, but you are entitled to live your life and personally I wouldn't let a job dictate or influence something as important as my decision to try to have a family.

Nobody has ever said a bad word to me about my choices and if they are saying it behind my back then, well, I can't hear them. The think that has stalled my career is going part time though, and I wouldn't try to do that in your situation.

I would try, you never know how long it will take and I would have regretted it if I hadn't.

I had 8 weeks between maternity leaves. It was fine, they just kept my maternity cover on.

You were internally headhunted whilst on maternity leave. They know you are of childbearing age. Statistically it's likely you would have a second child so it's not like it will be a complete shock to them. I'd say they feel you are the right person for the job long term and don't want to lose you.

So crack on. Own your success and be proud.

Go for it! I was in the similar situation and didn't want to wait too long! We waited a few months so we could save some money up for the next maternity leave and then it took a couple of months to conceive. Everyone was very kind at work, I'd returned to a new manager I'd never met, had 14 months between maternity leaves and colleagues would confess the gaps between their children were similar and often much smaller! I think even if you waited a year you'd still be apprehensive - so do it when you are ready - good luck x

Echo everything pasta says (except I had an eight month gap between leaves!).

Just to add that your family is the long - permanently long - game and the bigger picture. Do it now. Nobody will be shocked if you’ve never said you only want one child and if you stop at two that’s the mat leave over and done with and out of the way now.

Thanks for all the responses, feeling a bit better about it now.

I’ve had staff who have done similar and we’ve been delighted for them. Work teams can never have too many babies to celebrate.

You’ll still be at work and in your new role for a significant period of time; I went for a promotion and then fell pregnant the following month (didn’t expect it to happen that quickly) but I’ve proved myself in my new role during the time I’ve been pregnant and I just felt that that if I delayed it I’d regret it whereas as important as my career is to me it’s not my whole world as my family are