Do your kids cope well in full time school/ wrap around?

[Manchmallehrerin]

Please can you give me your honest experiences.

My DCs are 4 and 6 ( nursery and year 1). They go to wrap around care on two days a week. Breafast club drop off is 7.30. I collect from after school club before 6pm. They seem to enjoy it but they are exhausted by Friday.

I have been offered a great job opportunity... but it is full time. I don’t have family support so will need to use wrap around 5 days a week.

I am struggling to decide if it is reasonable to do this. honestly would you do this if you didn’t have to?

That is very long hours for that sort of setting. Mine used to be with a childminder from 7.45 - 5.45 and I felt that was better because they went away from school to a home environment. Would that be an option, breaks up the day a bit more. My fab childminder was so loving with the kids, they could have cuddle, curl up on the sofa and go to sleep etc

Meant to say at from ages 5 and 7 they were in school wraparound from 8 - 5.00 and were pretty wrung out by then.

Honestly, no. I'd say thats too much. Options to consider would be trying to juggle a slightly later start for either you or your husband so they dont have to do breakfast club, and maybe try to find an after school nanny so even if its fairly late when you get hone in the evening, they've had dinner and been able to chill in their own home? Doesnt need to be every night, we found someone that could do a couple of nights a week for us and it made a real difference.

Could you look at some sort of home based childcare like an au-pair or an after school nanny? With after school nanny they would need to use school breakfast club still, but could then spend 3-6pm at home. With au-pair they would do mornings as well, but live in

Most weeks my lo is home every day - year 1 too - and I work from home - but even then getting homework completed, daily reading, spellings, phonics and general chill out time is a squeeze.
On the days where I need to use breakfast club or childcare after school those weeks really impact on my lo. Both in terms of tiredness, quality of homework etc and their clinginess for me.
I've no idea how you'd ever fit in school homework would get done if you were having the children out of the home for such long hours. Plus the negative impact on schooling if so tired.

My child goes 5 days a week and has done since reception- either 8.30 til 5.30 or 7.45 till 4.30. They're absolutely fine :) i couldn't afford to maintain our lifestyle if I worked less.

I would look at a nanny instead.
Unless your job is going to offer a dramatic amount more then I would say no.
My dad worked very long hours when I was younger, and yes it paid for a great education/holidays etc, I can not recall more than a handful of memories with him because he was barely there for dinner/bath/breakfast.
It sounds harsh, but children really are only children for a split second

I personally don't think that would be the right thing for your childen. I've worked in education for quite a number of years (SEN specialism) and often see that very young children who are in school for long hours eg 7.30 - 6 every day are absolutely exhausted. This often impacts on behaviour and general performance.

I wouldn't personally. I've used wrap around when needed, but wouldn't want to rely on it at both ends of the day 5 days per week.

My DD was in full time day care from two months old, 8am to 6pm five days a week (single parent, overseas). From five years old she did 7am to 6pm, again five days a week in this country, and she coped with it fine, largely because we both had to. In an ideal world I'd have been at home more, but I received no maintenance.

She's now 22 and extremely comfortable in different social environments, took to university very easily etc, so there are positives. Do what you need to do.

OP - is it a case of having to work the extra hours or choosing to? IMO that's important.

Mine are 3 and 5, yr 1 and nursery. Oldest started nursery at 7mo dd at 9mo.
Both do 7.45ish to 5.30 every day.
They are fine. Oldest is extremely confident and never stops so it suits him well. Dd gets a bit more tired but she manages.

We dont do homework during the week, save for weekends. Works well for us.

However im a teacher so do get the holidays so they can chill!
I don't think its an issue.

I work in a similar wrap around care setting. We have a lot of children, including several 4 year olds, who do 7.30 - just before 6pm 5 days a week. I don't judge their parents, but truthfully it's too much for them.

After 5pm each night we have a regular group of children who crash. They lounge around on bean bags, make pillow forts and often fall asleep. I know there are few children who hate it. They've told me that even though it's fun, they miss their parents and want to go home at the end of the day like most of their friends.

I’m in this position now. 8:30 -5:30 and I feel so guilty. Reception and year 2. I can’t cut down my hours though and the kids seem ok but it does make me worry

Yes, DD does fine, she's 5 and in yr 1, after school club does toast and fruit for snacks so she eats there then has tea at home, they have a selection of activities so can choose to run around playing or sit quietly and watch a film or do crafts if they're tired.

She is not more or less tired on the weeks where I can work from home and pick her up straight from class.

@PGtipsplease You shouldn't feel guilty at all if you have no choice but to work. I also work ft because needs must and have two children (another on the way).

But I do feel differently if parents have the financial freedom to choose iyswim?

Honestly, I had to do this as a child and hated it. It felt like I never escaped school. Would a childminder be an option?

Mine are in wraparound care and have been since starting Reception. I’m a single parent and there’s no way round it unfortunately. We do school breakfast club in the morning but afternoon care is provided by a childminder. I love my childminder and I like the fact that they get to chill out in a home setting after school. It works better for us than after school club.

@Babbabump
Lifestyle over your child's best interests?
Shane they're further down the list of priorities as let's face it being well rested for school and having parental input for school surely has to trump lifestyle choices? Or is sky, holidays etc really worth more?

Mine do full wraparound 3 days a week, the babysitter picks them up 2 afternoons from their sports clubs. They're fine and it's necessary as I work full time. I'm a lone parent so that's needed. In your shoes the obvious solution is for your partner to reduce his hours as presumably he's enjoyed the benefit of you being part time til now, so it's now time for his career to flex.

This is a very timely question for us. My two youngest are 5 and 8. We've always had a nanny until recently (she resigned the day before Kindergarten started; a topic for another thread!)

We've had the boys in after school since September. I drop them off in the mornings at 8 (when school starts) and then at 2:45 they go to the afterschool program. I collect them at 5.

It's a really long day for them, both in terms of the hours and the stimulation. They each collapse when we come home. We've just decided to look again for an after-school nanny. They really need to be able to come home and just be.

If I were you I wouldn't discount full time work (as challenging as it can be) but I would look into a nanny or child under rather than a bigger group setting.

Completely agree with @HugeAckmansWife

Ahhh OP, this kind of mum guilt is horrible to carry. I'm a teacher and work long hours. Without a doubt, my daughter has been affected. If you don't have to put your children through this, then don't. I, unfortunately, had no choice so my DD went to breakfast club then after school club 5 days per week. She's now 8, clingy, hates doing homework and a poor sleeper. I've dropped to 4 days and may go on supply until my children are older as I do think long hours with a childminder/wrap around are of detriment.

It is possible, plenty of parents do it. But I actually found that i reduced my hours when DD started school. It wasn’t so much the after school care but the lost opportunities for outside activities like sport, music and socialising with Brownies/Cubs. None of that would have worked if DH and i worked 5 days.

Plus the need to do homework, reading and spelling under the week.

We looked briefly in an after-school nanny but only found nannies who looked for positions where they could bring their own babies and we didn’t want that. In the end we settled for a childminder, still plenty to do and play but also more opportunities to sit somewhere quite or even have a nap.

It's a hard one, I think they would get use to it mine are the same ages and I work 4 days we use a childminder 8am to about 4:30pm most days. Dh collects from school every 2 weeks (when I have a late meeting). For us childminder works well. I'd be tempted to try it if I was you.