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Not giving the full story

7 replies

Ghoulestofmums · 18/01/2020 09:58

I’ve been musing recently on the difficulty of commenting on threads when one doesn’t know the full story. For example, it was my birthday yesterday. DH had to be reminded to get me a card and he didn’t give me a present. Now if I had simply posted that, people would probably criticise him. However, the full story is that I have had shingles since before Christmas and he has been focusing on looking after me. I only reminded him about the card because I knew he would be mortified on the day if he had forgotten. In addition, I am impossible to buy surprise presents for and he knew I wouldn’t be in a position to think what I would like. Completely different angle.

Has anybody else seen the video I saw on a training session ages ago. It shows a young black man pushing an elderly white woman to the ground. People are asked for their instinctive reactions. The expectation is that people would think he’s a thief, attacking the woman. In fact he has seen that something is about to fall and hit her so he is saving her by pushing her out of the way. Again, different perceptions with full facts.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 18/01/2020 10:02

I’m not sure why him caring for you while you’ve been ill prevented him from remembering to get you a card.

And on MN and birthdays you’re wrong. Most of the time when someone complains about a lack of birthday fuss on here the martyrs appear to berate them for wanting or expecting any effort as they’re not 7.

EnidBlyton · 18/01/2020 10:04

not just mn, i was just reading a letter in guardian letters page and i had same reaction.
there is always another side to the story.

EnidBlyton · 18/01/2020 10:06

but this isnt judge judy, or anything

Kalifa · 18/01/2020 10:10

Your husband still needed reminding it was your birthday..
But you are very good at bringing up excuses for him.

APatchyTomCat · 18/01/2020 10:19

It’s shingles not Ebola, so I’d still find it a bit odd he forgot your birthday tbh.

But yeah we only get one side of the story, same as in RL though, unless every conversation is in mediation.

pineing · 18/01/2020 10:22

Yeah, there was a thread yesterday asking whether the OP was being unreasonable about some neighbour dispute, but gave so few details it was impossible to say.

Ghoulestofmums · 18/01/2020 10:22

He didn’t need reminding that it was my birthday - just about the card! In fact we were talking earlier in the week about hitting the bookshops,in one of our favourite places when I’m well to choose a present.

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