Do you talk to people on trains?

[WTAFFF]

This is lighthearted and I’m not judging you either way but I’d like you to please help me settle a difference in views.

We (DP and me) live up north. We are both from Newcastle. DP went to York for work and was telling me that a woman sat down next to him and immediately introduced herself.

I travel on trains regularly and have never introduced myself to my seat mate. I’m now wondering if I’ve been rude!

Do you introduce yourself to your seat mates on trains? I’d find it a bit unusual but I do have Aspergers so I am never sure if I am behaving correctly.

Thanks in advance.

Someone I used to work with met her DH on a train! Very happily married now.

You lot sound like an unfriendly bunch in general, I love a good chat and have met lovely people over the years on trains, planes etc - even the Tube! - but I am a very chatty outgoing person.

I wouldn't introduce myself when sitting down though, it has to start naturally and you have to get the right vibes.

Headphones in, avoid all eye contact, pretend I've never heard anything where possible.

I did this on a flight to nashville from Memphis years ago. There was an older woman in the row in front got up, turned round, leaned over the seat and tried to start talking to me. I smiled and got back to my music and I could hear her say to her husband in her southern drawl "oh the poor dear, she don't speak English". She latched on to the woman in front of her instead and was talking at (not with) her for the next four hours. Lucky escape. Headphones all the way.

The ideal situation is polite acknowledgement but no further interaction unless absolutely necessary.

Agree about the Trappist monastery comment. I like catching up on an audiobook/ netflix on the train not listen to you blathering on.
However I was on a train in Germany, sitting their minding my own business and a lady sat over the aisle from me with her son. She attempted to speak to me and I managed to let her know in appalling German, that I spoke no German and was English. She instructed her mortified son to chat to me instead!

Im painfully shy and would never introduce myself to people no. I would absolutely detest if someone did that to me. I'd think them a bit strange and probably consider moving seats if possible.

I caught an early train last year with my son, then around 4 months, to London and sat in the area with the disabled spaces so I could have him in his pram (there were no wheelchair users in there). A man sat down with a massive drum in a padded case which sparked my interest so we ended up having a good chat about music and kids. He was on the way to the BBC radio stations to play on the radio! Turns out, when I got home and found him on Instagram (we were joking about it so I said I'd look him up) it turns out he's a Grammy award-winning record producer!

Usually, no, I don't talk to anyone on trains.

I had sex with someone l met on a train once (not whilst on the train) but that was exceptional circumstances.

I travel a lot for work, I rarely chat to people on trains, more so when flying. But if I’m working on the train (laptop), l don’t want the interuptions.

People tend to talk to me, one of my sisters Is the the same. It’s made for some interesting conversations and some tedious ones.

My most memorable were an ex Lancaster bomber pilot when I was still a Uni student, the story of his WWII romance with his wife, he was recently widowed. A chat with a Swedish engineer about how planes work, Swedish alcohol policies and their way of life generally.

Sometimes I could have done with not chatting but I really don’t mind. As a child I was put out on the front step, I was three and used to chat to people that went past, my Mother had lax parenting skills by anyones standard.

sometimes but i wouldnt introduce myself, very odd

Like most people, I don't expect conversation to go beyond, "Is this seat free?" or possibly, "does this train stop at ?" or, "is this the right carriage for ?"

Conversation is more likely to start if there are delays or it's crowded, usually from a starting point of, "I'm sorry, I can't move, there's no space," or similar. I did get to share a bag of Percy Pigs with a group of young men on a rail replacement bus once. I have had some good conversations on trains. I don't tend to initiate them, but will usually join in of someone else starts it.

I once got on a very crowded train to Wales. I was standing in the corridor and got talking to the man next to me. He was Irish and on his way home via the ferry. As the train emptied out a bit, we had space to sit on the floor, and he drew a map of Ireland on the wall in pencil, to show me where he was from. I was a it shocked at the grafitti, but at least it should wash off. At Cardiff, I got off, and my parents were waiting on the platform (it was a long time ago, no ticket barriers.) Irish man jumped off, too, kissed me, and got back on the train as it departed westwards. That raised a few questions with my parents...

I like being sociable. But on the train- nope. I use this time to gather my thoughts. I may have had a stressful morning or exhausted from telling DS to put his uniform on 1 million times !!! The train journey gives me time to have a clear mind. I do not have the mental energy to talk to someone on the train. I have to be in a certain mood.

I don't introduce myself but often have a chat. I have 2 good friends (been friends for 30 years now!) that I met on trains, one on a commuter train and one at the station, then we talked for hours on our intercity train.

DH and the kids think I am weird!

Mostly though it's the other people that start talking to me - on trains, in buses, waiting for a takeaway. Even if I'm with family, it's me they start talking to not the other family members - who must give off a "Don't talk to me" vibe

Not usually but have done a few times. Never instigated by me. One guy I spoke to all the way from London to Preston and now say hello if I see him at the station

I may occasionally chat to/about their dog or small child (if said dog or child is with them obviously!) but otherwise no.

I'm in the US, and no, I very rarely get into conversations with people sitting next to me on the train, plane or bus. Occasionally, but not at all often.

I took the a 3-hour train journey last night and the only conversation I had was asking the guy in front to either put his headphones in or turn his music off - he looked quite astonished that another passenger would not be enjoying his music. Everyone else within eyesight smiled and nodded at me in relief.

Years ago I travelled between London and Devon fairly regularly for work. Sometimes I talked to people, but not always. It was way more normal to talk on off-peak trains. There was one chap who was on license after serving a sentence for murder; that gave me pause, but he seemed well rehabilitated and it was interesting.

God no. I'd hate to have to sit next to someone I didn't know, never mind having to flipping talk to them. If they spoke to me I'm afraid I would answer as politely as possible but would do my best to convey that I was not up for a train journey of talking. Sorry if that makes me sound rude but that's the way I am.

I hate talking to strangers. Absolutely hate it. I don’t think my facial expressions do anything to suggest that I’m up for a chat with a stranger. And yet the fuckers hone in on me every time. I’ve actually been known to change either my route or travel times in order to avoid people who have decided that I’m their new friend.

An update-man in aisle got on, we acknowledged each other with a smile and are now reading our books. Not sure he speaks English. Flight is short-worried I won’t get a (plastic) glass of red.

@superram - make sure you get your glass of red! Most important on a Saturday night!

I wouldn't introduce myself, but I would have a chat to the person sitting beside me.
When out with dd(4) she is more than happy to chat to everyone she meets.
I'm in Glasgow, most people will chat away in the doctors, hospital and supermarket.