This tradwife thing

[Orangeblossom78]

Has anyone else seen this on the BBC today? Just wondered what you thought...

I think fine to be a housewife etc but not about the 'submitting' and 'obeying' part...

Also she was saying about her husband being the 'stronger' and dealing with money etc, was watching this on the local BBC news this evening with my DH and two sons and felt a bit uncomfortable about it all!

So, just wondered your thoughts on this tradwife trend or whatever it is!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-51113371/submitting-to-my-husband-like-it-s-1959-why-i-became-a-tradwife

Brilliant, it might mean that sahm's come in for less stick.
I hate labels but my views are quite traditional, and that stuff about right wing, I'm about as far left as you can get.

It's not about being subservient, it's about traditional roles.

Transitional roles, back in the kitchen ladies.

Surely you can be a housewife / SAHM (depending on whether you have children) without surrounding it with all this bollocks. “Submitting” is a bit odd unless it’s their kink as others have said, but the basic idea of being a housewife (or a househusband) so be one unremarkable choice among many. Why it needs a stupid new hashtag name I don’t know!

It’s not a choice I would make but the basic idea wouldn’t bother me for others to choose. The memorabilia and the fake Diana/Kate wedding ring are distinctly odd though!

There's nothing wrong with being an SAHM, but what I object to is all this 'woman's place' bullshit that goes with the tradwife lifestyle and acting like it's natural for women to be submissive, look after the house and put hubby's needs over our own. I mean, I'm not married and I'm shit at housework and I'm not straight either, do I need to be locked in an institution and given electric shock treatment or something?

I'm proud of my education and career and I don't want to give it up.

Why is this making me think of Mary Maloney in Lamb to the Slaughter?

Just as women really start to make headway, conveniently just when we start to talk openly about the amount of male violence we all experience, the pushback starts. Get back to your places women, we can do what we want and you are nothing but worthless slaves. The replay of post-war backlash against women’s independence and rights really is happening.

To fuck with that, but I wish to all the gods and goddesses ever invented that I’d never had kids.

My sister has a good job. But she has never paid a bill or managed any finances. Her husband does it all. They had an interest only mortgage for years, then had to move to a smaller house when he lost his job.
If I were her I'd have my own bank account. But they are both terrible with money and spending too much.

I think there should be an acknowledgement of the changes in law and culture that allow this lifestyle to be a choice for these women instead of a default for everyone.

The ignorance perpetuated by these lifestyles is frustrating. I knew several actual 1950s housewives and the mark of a good husband was that he brought home an unbroken pay packet and handed it over to his wife. It was very much the norm for women to manage the finances. Many women of that era gave up their independence and work after the war to help society get back on track and to prevent large numbers of men being out of work. It was a sacrifice and it is very belittling and demeaning to compare this modern escapist nonsense with the strong and realist women of that era.

I am a sahm with a fairly traditional labour split that mirrors our interests, strengths and endurance. And I bloody value what I do in our family, as does dh. So we ensure that access to family money and leisure time is equal. Both of us put the dc first; that’s the whole point of us being a family. Trying to put dh first would be impractical and bad parenting. Please don’t conflate being a sahm with this nonsense.

Bewitched is a pretty terrible model for marriage. Samantha constantly lies to Darren. And the whole premise was that he couldn’t accept her true nature, abilities and intelligence which she tries to hide under the pretence of being a traditional housewife.
The irony is staggering.

It's interesting that the originators of this "movement" are absolutely raking it in.
It's not really being a housewife it's self employment and working from home.
It's a trademark, and they're having us on.

Nothing wrong with being a hw, sahm, or business woman working from home. But trying to con people into believing it's something it isn't is bad business, at least.

I'll confess to not having RTFT, but have printed it off to read on my way home.

I have written a play and one of the characters is a "tradwife" blogger and author - ironically, she makes more than her husband as an influencer and doing book tours. But she puts it all into a joint account and the view of everyone else is that her DH will skin her if he decides on a divorce.

I have no problem with people doing it, just as long as they don't bash other women for not doing it! Same here. If that floats yer boat, luv, fair enough.

And let's be charitable and assume that the husband doesn't trade her in for a younger model or shag for England (a stretch for anyone who knows the Relationships Board). Let's assume he dies as pps have said, or even worse, he gets made redundant or has an accident/becomes ill so he can't work. What happens then? Unless he can reinvent himself pretty sharpish, the whole set-up must be under threat. I have a friend who has been in the same job for 30 years and got made redundant last year, so it happens. Fortunately, he's single so only has himself to worry about, but I shudder to think what would happen if he had a tradwife and kids.

I find the thought processes behind proponents of this movement so weird. They want to live a glamourised idea of a 1950s housewife lifestyle but have all the benefits of TV, internet, domestic appliances etc. One unread went on about how she had given up her job, just looked after husband, dressed in 1950s style etc then dropped in that she spent her days making and selling dresses. So you're a self employed businesswoman who happens to be based at home then??

As pp have said it overlooks that women in the 1950s often did financial management of the home. And it focuses on a very middle class experience when many women in the 1950s and before did have to do some sort of work as a sideline around household duties. I mean in the middle ages when women couldn't vote, own property, sign contracts etc etc you still find women brewing ale and selling it from home or joining in with doing work in the family trade. Or working fields. Or managing households if you were wealthy. This idea that you just looked after the home and your husband is really quite modern.

And as I said on another thread about this, why has 'traditional' come to mean 1950s???? I wish to return to traditions Anglo Saxon values and will hence forth dress in woollen shifts and cook in a pot over an open fire... Sounds pretty traditional to me.

My mum was born in the '50s. I asked her what it was like and she said 'bloody freezing'. It sounded a pretty grim time tbh, I don't get the '50s nostalgia. It wasn't all Cath Kidston.

I think people are being rather harsh. She says she had a career. She also does a lots of blogging which she probably makes money from. I don’t see much of a difference between her and the average SAHM who gave up a career once she had kids. She can always return to work if it falls apart as she is obviously intelligent. It is possible to have a second career.
Plus not all men have affairs and leave their wives for younger models. The way people talk on here it is like it is inevitable. Why would people even bother getting married if that was the case? Divorce rates are reducing and women are better protected than ever, especially women that stayed at home. They just need a good solicitor. Maybe they stand a greater chance of staying together if they are both happy living like that.
In my mums case she came out ok financially and now doesn’t have to look after my idiot man child dad in her later years so it’s a win, win.

I don't trust any man enough to be a tradwife.

This. There is nothing wrong with it as a choice but really puts the woman in a vulnerable position in a society that doesn’t cater for her when she isn’t in her prime years and beauty.