1 year old won't let me put him in his car seat or high chair... or down generally!

[HotChocolatemarshmallows]

Advice please!!!
It all started with a crappy journey home a few nights ago where we were stuck in traffic in the dark and my baby cried the whole way home.
Since then he screams if I try and put him in the car/pushchair/highchair etc. It's awful. He has a full on meltdown.

What can I do? Its getting me really stressed as it's really upsetting to see

Have you tried a sling/baby carrier? Might get you through this phase and let you have your hands free. Might be able to back carry too. 😊

I think I must be made of weak stuff. I wouldn't want to carry a one year old in a sling, back carry or not. I managed until 6 months with DS and I didn't like back carrying as I couldn't see him.

Anyway OP could you try some songs in the via your phone, or giving him some musical toys to distract him whilst you stick him in.

Maybe change high chair position or just try something different like an activity before food, painting or colouring so he relaxes.

Get a decent sling - I carried my eldest on my front until he was 3.5 years! But if you have to use the car seat toys and distraction. High chair - get some food ready before putting him in - I find dry Cheerios are good.

I already carry him in a sling but I can't do that when we are eating or I need to drive somewhere 😕

Bring the car seat into the house, make a game of it, strap favourite teddy's etc Into it and have a tea party. He needs to forget the negative association.
As for the high chair maybe have food on the floor for awhile if you can, get a big cardboard box and have dinner sitting in that.

Children pick up on your stress as well so you need to relax.

Can anyone else try strapping him in with you out of sight?

At 1 yo I wouldn't tolerate, no way would I sling a 1 yo!

You put up with a few weeks of screaming...

Regarding the high chair, what is his favourite snack/food? Perhaps you could try only giving him that one favourite thing whilst he's in his highchair for a few days so he starts to make good associations with it. Make sure he can see the item before he gets in, so he kmows it's coming.

Although I guess that could backfire when you come to give him food he's not as keen on. Could try the same idea but with a favourite toy instead?

A one year old won't let you?! Who is the parent?

@DownWhichOfLate my DS is exactly 3 and a half now and is 18.5 kg. I could no way didn't carry him in a sling. I used a connecta when he was younger.

Anyway I digress 😁

Ah, mine was about 14kg at 3.5 years, so still slingable! 18.5kg I think I’d fall over!

I couldn't bear the sling however tiny they were.

Some good suggestions on here

@onlyoneoftheregimentinstep There's always one 🙄

A one year old won't let you?! Who is the parent?

Oh for gods sake. What a ridiculous comment. It is very unpleasant having to physically force a stiff as a board, squirming child into a car seat. And listen to them scream hysterically for the whole journey.

Also sling?! My one year old would have wanted to walk at that point- she would have gone mental if I tried to put her in a carrier. Op I feel your pain. Although DD screamed constantly in the car seat from the start so it’s nothing new.

At 18 months things are better (she can be bribed with biscuits) and she understands more.

To be honest, we limited journeys for a while as it was too stressful. For nursery runs and stuff I couldn’t avoid I tried my best to distract her but sometimes just had to get her in.

I meant carrier rather than sling, we used a sling when he was younger.

I'd go with bribing/distraction. A treat snack or a toy that only lives in the pram or car seat? I expect it will wear off in a wee while but it's a pain until then...

@HaggardMumofToddler Thank you! Couldn't have put it better myself 😊

It's horrible isn't it, nothing worse than trying to force him when he's hysterical for no reason ☹️ I'm hoping this phase passes soon as it's not much fun!

Hopefully it will pass. I find it so incredibly stressful some days. DD is what you would call a spirited child haha. Wouldn’t go in her pram either.

I would watch family/ members friends casually pop their babies/ toddlers into prams and car seats, and feel so jealous that it was so easy! As I could barely leave the house sometimes. It’s loads better now DD can walk long distances though.

So yep, bribe them and take a deep breath. I do find it’s better to not get frustrated.

Also, I am sad to report that it's totally possible to cook spaghetti bol whilst holding a 1 year old who won't be put down. Do you have other kids?

My DS went through a similar stage around 18 months I think (can't remember exact age). I think it's quite common, my Mum said DB did around that age too!
Whole meltdown, rigid legs, twisting round, so really hard to get him into seats! Several things really helped. In the car, we moved him from being in a rear facing baby carrier car seat to front facing toddler car seat (he was old enough to do this).
I took the tray off the highchair, moved it up to the table and put his food on the table.
He walked alongside pushchair on quieter roads and I put him in it, saying "we're getting to a busy road now" (usually at the same place) when I needed him to go in the pushchair. Gave him his snack to distract him the first few times too. These really helped but still did have a few meltdowns anyway!

@HaggardMumofToddler glad things are better now. My ds has never really liked being the pushchair but he had got loads better up until this week :(

@TooMinty no I only have the one, can't have anymore even if I wanted :(

Sorry to hear that @HotChocolatemarshmallows

This stage will pass eventually, in the meantime cut yourself plenty of slack. Easy food you can cook without putting him down or let him watch CBeebies for 15 minutes if it helps.