Being more ‘mumsnet’ in real life.

[KidCaneGoat]

Mumsnetters aren’t exactly shy of expressing their opinions. Has anyone found that this has now transferred to real life? And that you now say what you really think more than you did before?

I haven't changed anything I actually SAY, but MN is responsible for giving me a relentless sardonic eyebrow. I see misogyny, sexism and casual racism everywhere and I can't unsee it. But speaking out is "PC gone mad" and I'm not sure I could articulate matters very well, so I just shut up.

I am going to be more MN this year by making interminably detailed lists of everything that I (and everyone else in my family) eat, including the nutritional value and the comparative cost across all the major supermarkets.

I will also be compiling a very specific account of the contents of my store cupboards, making sure that I specify the size of the storage jars and exactly how full/empty they are.

Just in case someone asks.

Or not. Seriously , how do so many posters have time to make these lists?

I've become a bit more... er... forthright

I have also now abdicated all responsibility for tidying up. There are three other perfectly capable adults in the house. It's a tip, but I have trained myself not to care.

It’s so easy for mumsnetters to stridently tell posters to go ‘NC’ or ‘LTB’ when it’s not their lives in turmoil. What’s more, some of them even get ratty and turn accusatory and critical when the poor sod they’re ‘advising’ doesn’t immediately agree to do so. Like they’d follow their own advice in the same circumstances. Of course they would. Yes.

I’m all for enlightening posters about the stark reality of their situation but ffs don’t bully them about it. No one leaves the bastard or goes no contact because some puffed up mumsnetter has ordered it.

I often say to DH:

DH. I shall LTB if you don't shape up.

whilst muttering >

is that MN enough?

I have definitely taken a lot of the feminist things on board. I make sure DH does his fair share and will not tolerate being in charge of the shit work. We both always worked and shared child care but I have been more vigilant about falling into the doing more category. I am also a lot more aware of gender stereotypes and constantly try to unpick the ingrained societal programming. I am aware I always internalized many male values and am definitely now more pro women.

Otherwise no, I don’t froth at the mouth about small things and am generally pleasant and accommodating. Live and let live! I generally disagree with the majority opinion on many threads though, I consider that a healthy thing.

Nice to hear the positive stories of how MN has helped people. Especially the things where it could be isolating like infertility or disability. I guess I’ve just been wondering recently about forums and the divide between online lives and real lives. But it’s true that it’s easy to give advice like LTB.

@katzenellenbogen god I’ve not seen those lists! They sound so dull.

I can think of a couple of times when MN affected my behaviour.

Quite soon after I joined MN (no children), DP and I were at a checkout in a large supermarket, where a young child nearby was having a screaming fit, really full-lunged stuff. Before, I’d have tutted and rolled my eyes, but instead, I went to help to the mother get her shopping onto the conveyor belt and then pack the stuff up. The child took one look at me and stopped crying, so a bit of a result all round.

On another occasion, I was at a hotel in India, settling the bill. The hotel accepted credit cards, but as I offered my card, the receptionist asked if we could pay half in cash. We could, though it meant we’d have to find an ATM, which wasn’t always easy, but I said yes. Then they asked if I’d pay the whole bill in cash; I looked him in the eye and said ‘No.’

I’ve become obsessed with being reasonable all the time

I’ve decided to make 2020 the year that I become more MNetty.

I have thrown out my loo brush, gone NC with all relatives and stopped answering the door.

@WarmSausageTea that’s amazing. Exactly the kind of thing I was thinking about