I'm posting here as I'm really struggling and trying to avoid the conception board at the moment.
I've been ttc over 2 years now. At first it seemed we couldn't concieve but after 16 months I got my first bfp that sadly ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks (early scans showed the baby stopped developing around 5.5 weeks). I had already started infertilty testing and was seen by a fertility consultant and had the hsg test. Two months later I was pregnant again and lightening struck twice - baby stopped growing about 5.5 weeks, miscarried just before 9 weeks in September.
We stopped ttc whilst I was waiting for a hysteroscopy - had this in December and a polyp was removed so we've resumed ttc. That 3 month wait, I honestly felt like life stopped. I had quite severe anxiety whilst waiting for the operation.
Recurrent miscarriage testing suggests all is fine with my blood (I'm 36). Our fertility consultant has diagnosed unexplained infertilty and is referring us for ivf.
I'm struggling so much, I have got symptoms of ptsd and am having therapy with a psychotherapist via my work. But I am struggling to live my life, I am just existing. I'm finding everything is triggering for me - people and places I found comfort are now triggering me, trying to feel hope is triggering.
The only thing that helps is doing a jigsaw - I can switch off and concentrate on that. My friendships have suffered, my relationship is good and he is supportive but this is putting pressure on us.
How can I try to live again? I really feel like I'm at rock bottom. I can't remember what I used to be like and what I enjoyed doing. Life is just consumed with this.