Making new friends

[Thompl16]

I moved away from my home town 6 years ago and my old friendship group bothers less and less since then.
They all remain super close but I am on the outside now.
I’ve made the effort to be over there for birthdays and baby showers etc but the invites have started to fade to those events and I’m at the stage where no one gets in touch. I am now pregnant with my 2nd and my old friendship group know the news but I haven’t heard from any of them.
I am just feeling very lonely and miss the friendship of a group I get on well with.
I’ve not really made any work friends in my workplace, it’s a very busy job and there isn’t a culture of socialising. People tend to not leave their desks at lunch time so I either do the same or have lunch alone somewhere.
With first baby I tried to get out to baby groups but I struggled to connect with people and found myself sat on the outside unable to connect. I am shy and socially anxious so I know that isn’t going to help.
Has anyone found a way to get over this? How do you start to make friendships in your 30s?

Hi OP

It's not easy is it? It's nice to have a group of core friends, you miss it when it's gone. Don't take it personally, it happens to lots of us as we get older. There was another thread earlier this week on this very topic.

Re the group - Was there a falling out or did you just drift from the group due to you not living nearby? Could you reach out to one of the group and check if there's been a misunderstanding or if reconnecting is possible? Or were you wanting to just move on completely?

I'm not great with meeting new people either unless it's through work or mutual friends but since having my DC I've gone to a few different groups and really tried to get involved. I just try be friendly, smiley and try to seem interested. Just ask questions about the DC's...are they sleeping, how's teething etc etc and the conversations flow from there. I haven't made any friends as such but it's nice to spend an hour or 2 per week around other Mothers.

Keep trying and try a few different groups.

Thank you for your reply.

I honestly just think it is a matter of drifting apart from my old friendship group. Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. Although we haven't fell out I think I am better trying to move on and establish friendships in my new location instead of thinking of what I'm missing out on.
It hurts but I deep down know it's nothing personal and just plain and simple distance.

The search for friendships feel a harder battle than just normal dating!

Maybe you need to be more pro-active? At work, why not ask if anybody fancies a quick lunchtime drink/coffee/taking their sandwiches to the park? They might like a change. Or ask if anyone would like to see a film later in the week?
How about joining a book group?

My friend told me about an app called Mush I think it was - like tinder but for mums?

Thanks, I've heard of the mummy apps so will have to take the plunge. It feels really cringe but I just have to get over that I suppose.

We moved before I got pregnant with DC2 and I didn’t know anyone. I did an antenatal course and was lucky enough to make some great friends through it. Would that be a possibility for you?

I did the NCT course for DD1 but the other couples lived quite far apart so we struggled to meet up which meant those connections fizzled out.
I feel as I've done the NCT one before I wouldn't do it again but will see if there are any NHS ones.