I think I am autistic.

[AnUnlikelyWorldofInvisibleShad]

I am going to see my GP to see if I can get a referral for assessment. Is this the right way to access the assessment process?
Is the GP likely to ask lots of questions? I don't know what I should be expecting when I go to see him.
If he refers me what happens during the assessment process?

I found this article and the bit at the start where the lady describes a typical meltdown for her sounds almost exactly like what I experience.

medium.com/@AshleaMcKay/the-m-word-we-need-to-talk-about-adult-autistic-meltdowns-fec98f60157b

Do any of you experience meltdowns? I wonder if you would explain how they affect you
Yes, it's basicallt just when I get to the point when I literally can't cope anymore, say I've had to interact with people all day then I come home already near breaking point then my clothes feel wrong or maybe I've fucked up making good, basicallt when I get very overwhelmed the slightest thing can tip me over into meltdowns, lots of crying, screaming/shouting at myself and sometimes harming myself, when I calm down I need to just be in a dark room with a heavy blanket and no sounds, light, smells basically anything senses related.
Get them less often now as I've crafted my life to be autistic friendly, but sometimes shit hits the fan. It's awful and makes me feel crazy.

I do but I often just go to bed. I am very fortunate that my work is primarily done alone and )not so fortunate) that DH is disabled and no longer working, however it gives me the freedom for self care. If. things are piling up or I have had any kind of emotional stress it exhausts me and because DH is around I usually can take myself off to the bedroom and lie down.

I do cry a lot, which is the opposite of everything we are told about autism, but it's my way of letting things go I think.

I also do this if I need to organise anything or pack for holiday etc, I just sit and do nothing, go to bed and end up in a panic when I have to face it.

Ava,
Fair enough. Can't say it's my experience, or that of many social worker friends, thankfully.

Actually, scratch that.

If you're an unfit parent, then SS will come to that conclusion whether or not you have a disability. This isn't a reason to avoid seeking a diagnosis.

No it's not. And it's horribly disablist (or whatever you want to call it) to suggest such a thing.

It’s not disablist to be afraid of being discriminated against because you have a disability.

It’s not disablist to be afraid of being discriminated against because you have a disability.

That not what you said though. You told people they should avoid seeking a diagnosis of Autism in case SS took their kids away and also in case the split up with their husband and he could say 'they have autism' and use it agains them

So basically shite, yeah?

She said she was fearful of it, its not unheard of for the SW to make terrible life altering decisions.

She said it could be used against in the event of divorce. She also advised on a thread for SUPPORT to think about that issue and gave it as the reason for NOT going for diagnosis.

It's bollocks. When someone posts looking for help and advice warning them off with ridiculous scenarios is and awful thing to do.

Much like pps I've found a diagnosis really helpful in terms of letting go of negative feelings about myself and my behaviours. Having spent years berating myself for various things I did or didn't do, it's a relief to be able to have a reason.
I ended up seeing someone privately as I couldn't get an NHS GP to refer me despite seeing several, as it 'even if you are it's obviously not affecting your ability to function' - this on the basis of being able to make eye contact with them in the appointments, and being academically successful .

I ended up being diagnosed by a lovely psychologist who specialises in female presentations of autism. It was in May last year and initially I only told DH, but am currently signed off work, mostly due to stress/ anxiety, and am going to tell them when I go back. I'm a junior doctor and much like you OP what I'm finding most difficult is the constantly changing jobs and the lack of routine to the shifts. DH is also a shift worker but on a completely different 10-day pattern, and we have two small DC who are on a 'normal' weekly pattern of school/ childcare - the overlaying of all three means that literally no day is the same and it's making me ill trying to maintain a sense of order.

I only do 16 hours a week. I am worried sick about my children getting older and having to increase my hours as I will have to be more flexible. I can only cope if my shifts are fixed and I know what I'm doing each day.
I struggle with christmas every year because everyone's shifts get altered and I w0rry for weeks before the rotas come out. This year I was put in a different department for some shifts so I went to ask if it would be possible to do the shifts on my normal department as I was so worried about it. I was told no problem and then went into work one day before Christmas to be stopped by a manager telling me I had to go in the different department. Well I burst into tears. I was crying for a good 45 minutes, did a shoddy job because I couldn't calm myself down. I couldn't even remember what I was supposed to be doing. All I wanted to do was lock myself in the toilet away from everyone until it stopped and then was so exhausted after that I woke up the next morning feeling unwell and shattered and ended up going into work late. It was awful really.

I am currently going through the adult autism diagnosis process, I have my second appointment today.

It is important to me for getting support in education (studying a professional qualification part-time) and through workplace initiatives. I have been told if I get a diagnosis I can access an autism resource centre.

It is also important to me because I feel I have been misdiagnosed with a different mental health disorder. I have been told I don't properly fit into the diagnostic boxes for various mood disorders and don't react to medication as expected. I think a lot of my behaviours when I was young (eating disorders, self-harm, outbursts and meltdowns) were due to overload, difficulty recognising and expressing emotions and lack of ability to communicate.

Meltdown for me: starting to cry and being unable to stop until I’m completely removed from the situation.

In some areas, the GP has to apply for funding before the referral can go ahead.

autistics assessment

May be worth reading through this.

Not trying to put you off, but it’s not a straight forward referral in some areas, and can take a while.

That Ashlea McKay article was interesting, but I found the Don’t challenge anyone ever or they might feel marginalised, a bit aggressive.

I do see that it’s quite a minefield.

Also, why did she need to list her pronouns? I was a bit baffled by that.

(Sorry going off topic slightly.)

I have found this regarding assessment in my area. Not sure it makes much sense though.

I’ve been thinking about pursuing this for some time. I bounce between Aspergers and ADHD as possibilities. I basically really struggle to cope with multiple tasks, and can’t cope with social interaction all that well. Ironically I work in healthcare and am not really well suited to it at all. Despite being reasonably intelligent (always too of class in primary/secondary school, great GCSEs despite no studying) I barely scraped through sixth form and my degree because I cannot work to a deadline at all and have what I now think might be meltdowns. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and I obviously do get anxious but it doesn’t feel like the right fit. I increasingly find that in busy situations I completely shut down and basically feel drunk or stoned. It’s like my brain starts going at 1 mile/hour when it usually goes at 100. I’m either bouncing from one idea to the next and people can’t keep up, or I’m basically catatonic. I find controlling my emotions incredibly difficult and sometimes feel like I’m the most selfish person in the world because I have almost no empathy. I want to be able to understand the feelings of others but I can’t. My reactions to things are sometimes really odd and inappropriate because of this. DH says I’m always trying to put a label on things and want to give everything a name. He’s not wholly supportive of me seeking diagnosis which has definitely put me off, but I think that’s because we share a lot of the same traits and maybe it might force him to consider his own behaviours.

I think it's normal though surely to want to give something a label if you are confused and unsure what is wrong. I think I have been searching for a label of some kind that makes sense for years.

It really does help while you're studying.

It would be so lovely to get some extra help to cope with exams. Last time I did exams I walked out of one after 15 minutes as I couldn't cope with the noises of everyone rustling their papers and writing and people sitting behind me and the other I managed to just scrape a pass even though I passed all my assignments with 85% +. I was gutted to be honest.

I think it's normal though surely to want to give something a label if you are confused and unsure what is wrong. I think I have been searching for a label of some kind that makes sense for years.

It absolutely is. People get hung up in the term 'label' but all that is is a name for it. In the same way we name diabetes, cups and arms. It's no different. In order for us, and also others, to understand, we need a name to give them. Call it a label, a name, a term whatever, fact is without it you often cannot reason with yourself or others. I found my diagnosis slipped my entire childhood and teenage years into place. That was vital for me.

Personally I do have to contend with social work, court etc and I haven't so far found the autism diagnosis to have been a big deal.
Sometimes social workers use clumsy language but I haven't found them to escalate interventions because of knowing I'm autistic.
So far anyway.

I found them much more panicky around physical disability.
My ex said I could barely move and was making my children do everything in the house and they were quite credulous about it for a while.

I cant really see why autism in itself should be an issue for social services. Surely the issue would be if you are capable of caring for your children and providing for them. Autism doesnt necessarily prevent someone being able to do that. I'd hope with more understanding of myself I could actually be a better parent to my children.

I was diagnosed as an adult. It was thanks to another MNetter actually! They had a thread about thinking they were Autistic. I read the criteria that Tania Marshall set up and I was like ‘Oh that’s me!’. I went to my GP with a list of reasons I thought I was Autistic and my AQ scores. She genuinely said Well I don’t think you are but if you really want me to, I’ll refer you. Took a bit of sorting to establish where I needed to be referred to, then a long wait because they changed the way they handled referrals but 18 months later I had a DISCO assessment and got my diagnosis. I don’t think of it as a ‘label’, it’s a diagnosis that explains a condition I have, it explains why I am how I am, why I need more time than most people to learn things, need more time to recharge.

In terms of meltdowns, yes mine are mostly just uncontrollable crying. I just feel overwhelmed and have to stop and cry it out. I have panic attacks too but they are very different. Then I have the phrase I can’t cope going through my head and I hyperventilate. Sometimes I think I’m dying .

Having a diagnosis has helped me massively. I’ve found a group of women online who are neuro-diverse like me. We share stuff, understand things that neuro-typicals don’t get. It really helps me to have that forum. I also give myself the time I need to recharge. So like today, I’m on leave. I gave myself permission to watch TV. I needed to rest. I don’t beat myself up like I used to. I’m more assertive about what I need at work, I moved jobs (also shift worker) and I was clear that it would take me longer to learn the new role than most people. I’ve asked for some reasonable adjustments to make life easier for me which have been achievable. I’m still cautious about who I disclose to because I know some people are judgemental but I’m really glad I got diagnosed.