Autism (/dyspraxia/related difficulties) and learning to drive

[MeadowHay]

Can anyone motivate me? Success stories? I am autistic and have poor motor skills, poor spatial awareness, difficulty multi tasking etc. I have wanted to drive for a couple of years but wanted to learn automatic as I was concerned clutch control etc would be particularly difficult for me and massively slow down my learning or even prevent it. I have been searching for an auto driving instructor/on waiting lists for approximately 18 months to no avail, there just aren't any locally with any availability. I have now had 6hrs of driving lessons with my DH's old instructor and still haven't even driven on a road. I knew this was going to be an uphill battle for me but the terror of potentially spending thousands of pounds on lessons and then never learning is really scary. We are a low income family so the driving lessons are a HUGE outlay for us that we are really going to struggle to afford in the long term.

I don't care if it takes me a long long time to pass my test, as long as I do it eventually. Does anyone have any success stories they can share with me?

Bumping for you as one of my DCs may well have similar issues. Do you have any local FB groups for people with SNs, it might be worth asking for experiences and recommendations there.

Ah I don't feel comfortable doing that with the lack of anonymity. Maybe I should ask this to be moved to one of the SN boards here or something

I have similar difficulties and passed at 40. I did a residential intensive course in an automatic.

Too me 20 years 5 test but got there .
Ring every driving school . Every driving instructor.
Ask any freinds for recommendations.

Is the plan for you to buy a car once you pass? If so, contact local instructors and ask if they’ll teach you in your own car, then buy your own automatic car now and learn in that. That’s how I learned and passed my test within three months after completely not getting to grips with a manual (dyspraxia though not autistic, but struggle with following sequences and multitasking.)

I have similar difficulties re dyspraxia/spatial awareness. It took me a couple of years and 3 tests but I got there. You need a really patient instructor - a couple ditched me!!
It was worth persevering though even though I sometimes felt I'd never get there.

Will try to motivate, but I have the same situation and driving is one of the skills that was near impossible to learn and keep going, in theory without another person in the car. It took me a very long time off and on.

Some of the things that helped were to watch some of the you tube dashcam films of the local area test routes, where the instructor driving talks through the lane choice while you watch. I think I am quite slow at reacting to lane choice but in the local area you can learn it, but expect to need a lot of time to do so. Also make plans and try to think through the road sequence before you set out - it helps me. I have a town with lots of roundabouts which to me look the same when going through them, but the sequence of them is useful to recall beforehand. Possibly you may have a way of setting them in your mind that is not necessarily a map-like method (e.g. 'when I see the viaduct then the first one after that is X. The one with the petrol station comes after that').

Secondly, it was great to drive somewhere I wanted to/had to drive, like to places I would want to go to that were not in my grasp without a car. That was motivating and practice is all worthwhile.

Third, manoeuvres worked better with 'feel' for me - like the approx. degree of turning the steering wheel in reverse for certain things, not exact but at least knowing the rough extent of turn. DH made me a little lego car to show the relationship between the steer and the external wheel movement which was interesting. By contrast any pointers using imagined spots on the windscreen wiper or the mirror as the navigation aids was nearly useless for me although most instructors did this, but that too completely changes depending on the model, height and size of car.

Lastly I got a hypnotherapy CD to prepare for the test itself. It sounds alarming - it doesn't hypnotise you for the test or passing, but it reduces anxiety about it (which was especially necessary after going through several tests unsuccessfully first). I do think the CD made quite a difference.

I’m a bit dyspraxic although never formally diagnosed. I passed by some miracle after not that many hours. In the first year, I drove a manual and I think I had 9 accidents but only one a bit more serious (I was fine but the car was written off).
I’ve now been driving for over 15 and have an automatic with cameras, sensors and it even breaks for me if it looks like I’m going to drive into something. It still tends to be scraped a bit as I curb or drive into bollards type of stuff. However, I haven’t had an actual accident with another car for 3-4 years so I’m getting there

DD1, 20, has dyspraxia, poor coordination and rubbish spatial awareness. has a list of self inflicted accidental injuries that would last most people a lifetime or two.

We bought an automatic for her to learn in. By chance we found one with dual controls. Because we also couldn't find an automatic instructor, DH taught DD. The dual controls were essential to enable him to do this
Teaching himself had great advantages as he could do little-and-often which helped DD's concentration, and meant she didn't have long gaps between sessions to forget, so could build up muscle memory.
He had to teach pretty much everything, including how to follow along the curve of a road etc.
She had 4 lessons with a normal instructor in our car, with DH in the back, to check progress along the way.

DD2 also has motor skill issues but not dyspraxia. We will look at an automatic for her too.

If you look online it appears you can buy dual control conversion kits e.g. www.gradesixsupplies.com/driving-school-supplies/dual-controls/fast-dcs-complete-kits-for-right-hand-drive-vehicles NB this is not a recommendation, we haven't actually tried this yet as DD2 is only 15.

DD1 passed first time after 9 months of learning (I could have fainted in shock) after 70-80 hours of driving.

I totally recommend an intensive course (let’s not call it a crash course!). For me, it enabled me to focus completely on driving and not to have the gap between lessons and ‘forgetting’, having to build my nerves up to it each time etc etc.

I am dyspraxic and managed to pass my driving test. Was told i never would when I was diagnosed (as a child) was told I wouldn't be able to drive due to the coordination needed. I can drive a manual car but I had a fantastic instructor and it took me about 30 hours. BUT I did have a break between when I started and when I restarted as I wasn't ready. I actually found for the gears thing that doing the gears whilst someone else drove helped me get used to it. (Like they had thier hand over mine on the gear stick and told me when we were gonna move it etc)

Oh yes, meant to add that I also thought clutch control would be something that held me back but it turned out not to be a problem. For me personally I didn't find that too hard to feel comfortable with.

I was told by several instructors that I would never be able to drive.

I eventually found an instructor who made it his mission to teach me to drive and get me through my test.

It took me eight years and two tests. I drive a manual car because I found that clutch control and gears were not the part of driving that I had most difficulty with.

Don't give up because you can do it.

I have dyspraxia, my spatial awareness is appalling. I took about 15 months of a weekly two hour lessons and occasionally going out with DH (but that often ended with a row). But I did it in a automatic (started in a manual) and booked 4 tests in total (failed two with 1 major and 3 minors on each, forgot to go my 3rd). My spatial awareness is still shit, I am overly cautious when passing on what I perceive to be narrow roads (apparently they are often not as narrow as I think, but better safe than sorry. I am coming up for a year since I passed my test and the freedom is amazing (don't particularly enjoy driving, but love the freedom).

You can do it, it may just take longer than the average person, but it is definitely do able.

I’m autistic although didn’t know until I was in my 50s.

I passed my test at 36, in six weeks. Once I’d got the clutch thing I was away - I spent time in out of hours supermarket car parks and industrial estates so I could learn away from other traffic. I absolutely recommend this to you. Also don’t let a week go between lessons/sessions, you need to do it often so it’s always fresh in your mind.

I know autism is a spectrum and I don’t know you but driving is so full of Rules that I think it’s a really suitable discipline for AS people - also we tend to be risk averse and that’s a really good thing driving..

I get such benefit from driving. I really do. I adore driving. I love nothing better than a long drive, it’s headspace for one thing and I find the necessary full concentration very healing in a way - like I can’t ruminate on my worries/shortcomings because I’m reading the road and being a good safe driver.

Make yourself do it. Try the empty car park thing. Then you can be fully in control of your car without having to think about it before you involve yourself in traffic. Good luck - I wish you success!

I have ASD, I struggle with multitasking (can't play the piano, for example. My hands can't do different things at the same time ) but I passed my test in an automatic. I tried in a manual (seven years, hundreds of pounds, numerous panic attacks) before deciding that life was too short. Now my attention is totally freed up for what's going on around me and I can even drive on the motorway, which terrified me.

I have ASD, although not diagnosed til my 30s. I learned to drive at 17, I had to have 40+ hours of lessons but I had a very patient teacher who didn’t put me in for my test until he was confident I was ready and then I passed first time. I still get nervous driving any distance on my own, better with sat navs! But I like driving now. Have you tried a manual car? You might surprise yourself.

I passed first time after 35 lessons (a year's worth when taking holidays into account) back in the 80s. 35 hours of tuition was reckoned to be the average needed back then, but standards have changed and 40 hours or more is probably realistic. TBH, you might read about all those teenagers who pass their tests six weeks after their 17th birthday but they're the exception not the rule.

I have dyspraxia but not diagnosed till mid 30's. Passed my test at 20 after stopping & starting with a couple of instructors on fourth attempt. My sister also has possible undiagnosed dyspraxia & passed on her third inn her thirties. She passed in her own car after failing twice in her instructors car and her husband was taking her out to practice in her own car several times a week, so more familiar.
Both of us have passed in & drive manuals. I dont think you necessarily need a manual as my dyspraxia means that I learn by repetition & once a task "clicks" then its embedded.
If you can afford to do so then I would suggest buying the car, learning & taking the test in it. Hope this helps

Sorry I meant to type that I don't think you necessarily need an automatic car. All my cars have been manual, although I do tend keep them quite a long time & I'm not always keen on changing lol! My sisters on her second manual.
Parking sensors etc can be a good idea. However I frequently drive my mums with sensors & if I'm being honest I find all the noise distracting! But I think it depends on the size of the car. I have a Mini hatch so no easy peasy to park

My DDs driving instructor was autistic. He was brilliant at teaching her.

Woops, I was really confused as to why people were telling me they learnt quickly in an automatic when I thought I had made it clear I have had to start learning in a manual due to lack of automatic instructors locally but I can see my post was a bit ambiguous on that point actually.

No offence to those of you who passed/drive automatics (I would prefer to do that!) - but I really want to hear from people who drive manual, as that's what I'm setting out to do now. I am struggling with the clutch control on just setting off! I can do it after 6hrs of lessons lol but even in my last lesson I messed it up I think twice still. Which wouldn't really fly if I was in the road and the lights changed to green! on the other hand I could reverse ok and I can also park forwards in a bay nicely too. So far it's definitely the clutch control I'm having the most difficulty with but as I said, I've waited 18m on waiting lists and regularly calling auto driving schools and still no availability so don't have a choice.

Definitely can't afford to suddenly buy an automatic car and there is nobody around who could take me out driving regularly anyway. My DH has only had his licence for a year so can't take me out legally. Re buying a car, we don't have a plan per se, DH is job seeking so it depends on whether he needs a car for work. If he doesn't, then we will maybe just wait til I have passed my test as my lessons are a huge financial strain in themself.

I have poor short term memory so I think I need to have as little gap between classes as poss. I am finding I have forgot half the stuff between classes. Discussed this with instructor who is really going out of his way to facilitate that but he is very busy and popular so availability a bit restricted. I can't do an intensive course or anything, I work and have a toddler so the time I can committ to it is restricted too. My instructor is really nice and taught DH. He said he has another autistic student. He is taking time to get to know me and asking me questions about how I learn best etc. I have high levels of anxiety generally and driving is obviously something I am especially anxious about. I am up front with him about this (although I'm sure it's obvious anyway!) and he is reassuring and checks I am ok etc.

My 19yo passed second time in a Manuel.

She has undiagnosed dyspraxia and ASD, public transport overwhelms her.

It took 18 months of lessons and in the last year it has changed her life.

I should also say it took me 7 attempts to pass. I've been driving donkeys years, I've only had 1 daily claim scratched a car parking, my cause of most failures.

Honestly if it takes me 18m or I need to do 7 tests that is fine by me as long as I can pass one day! I have never really believed I could learn to drive a manual car so it would be AMAZING to prove myself wrong.

How can I learn to stop messing up the clutch when I set off though?? And how to remember the order to do things in like what order to do everything in to set off, stop, change gears etc I feel like there is so much to remember and I get confused