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Original poster

THE AGE GAP! Give me your thoughts

13 replies

BlackBlueBell · 15/01/2020 21:17

Tell me the positives and negatives of having a big age gap between children, whether your children have age gaps or it’s you and your siblings have age gaps, is it a good or bad idea?

OP posts:

HerRoyalFattyness · 15/01/2020 21:31

I'm 10 years older than my brother.
We are extremely close, best friends actually. Which sounds odd, but we are. We talk all the time, send each other silly memes, pretend argue in front of my mum over who is the favourite and have each others back come what may.

Smellbellina · 15/01/2020 21:32

Very close to my sibling who is 10 years older than me.

notaregularmom · 15/01/2020 21:36

I'm 10 years older than my sister, growing up I hated her she was a brat and we didn't build a relationship until she was 18. There's 9 years between my 3rd and 4th and it's been positive so far.

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Families

TheBigFatMermaid · 15/01/2020 21:36

10 1/2 years between DD1 and DD2, they are incredibly close!

halfpasteleven · 15/01/2020 21:38

7 years between my two and they adore each other. It's lovely to see and the eldest is really hands on with their baby sister which has been so helpful for me so many times.

TheABC · 15/01/2020 21:39

As much depends on character as age. From a practical viewpoint, having two close together is physically hard work to start with, but then gets easier as they are likely to have shared entertainment, interests and needs (try taking a teenager with your toddler to softplay!).

OTOH, a large age gap allows for individual attention and development of the child and you can often keep or regain the not-mum bits of your time as you are not stretched so thin. So, your 7 year old will reliable dress, wash, toilet and consume a meal without your help, even if you are on the floor with newborn sleep deprivation.

My two are 3 years apart (happy accident) and I am slowly regaining my professional life. Me and my sister were 5 years apart and we bickered constantly!

MeadowHay · 15/01/2020 21:41

There are two years between me and my DB and then another two between him and DS. We are all fairly close but not super close. None of us were close or indeed even really got on much as adolescents though, so that must have been very tough for our parents. Now we are all well into adulthood we have become close.

There are around 4 yrs between DH and his DB and they are not close at all. They are civil with each other but only see each other a few times a year and DH does not like the person that his DB is. They were v close throughout childhood and adolescence but have become v different people as adults so drifted apart.

Two sets of my cousins have age gaps with their siblings of 6 years and they have both been close throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood.

I think most of it is personality and the wider family dynamics though rather than just the age gap itself which determines the kind of relationships siblings have.

Polkagirls · 15/01/2020 21:44

10 year plus gap between last 2 dc. The older siblings actively want to be involved in looking after the youngest- want to play with her, help bathe her. I don’t expect them to help, but it certainly makes it much easier.
Down side - the needs of the children are so different- I need to make sure I’m available for each of my children

Chooseanotherusername87 · 15/01/2020 21:45

5.5 years between my 2, get along really well at the moment (2 and 7)! Most of the time...

5 years between my sisters and they didnt get along for years but i think its more personalities than age, they get along great now at 20 and 25!!

TippledPink · 15/01/2020 21:46

18 years between me and DS, 8 between me and other DS and 4 between me and DB. None of us are close.

Skyejuly · 15/01/2020 21:48

Good was that it was easier having a newborn and an older kid.

Now eldest is a teen its actually really hard! I feel drawn because sometimes he wants picking up late. A school trip finished at 11pm and my toddler is not a great sleeper so I was not impressed when the coach was late and was back 1am.

fantasmasgoria1 · 15/01/2020 21:49

2 years between my brother and myself. We get on most of the time but as adolescents we fought all the time. We are very different people and at the moment he has upset me yet again by getting his priorities wrong. I am about ready this time to go low contact for a while.

BackInTime · 15/01/2020 21:51

Depends on how much of an age gap you are looking at. Big age gap between my youngest sibling and the rest of the family. She has often felt left behind as we were doing more grown up independent things as teens when she was still little so in some ways it was like being an only child. Also it feels like she missed out a bit in family times such as holidays and Christmas before she was born. For us as older siblings there was always the need to make allowances for the youngest one which sometimes caused resentment.

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