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Original poster

I need my hair cut-here’s a letter-I’ve homework- when can we go to the zoo-do you want to hear a joke?

22 replies

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 15/01/2020 20:11

All things my son has needed to get out of bed to say to me in the last week. Hmm

I’m trying very hard not to be an ogre and send him off to bed grumpy but he’s trying my patience. He doesn’t seem to understand firm but nice. It takes me to sound cross before he will stay in bed but that makes him sulky which I don’t want to do. How do I get him to stay in bed without getting cross?

OP posts:
mogtheexcellent · 15/01/2020 20:18

Theres a mumsnet bedtime bingo sheet somewhere. Ive just crossed off the 'Ask a Philosophical question' box.

HappyPumpkin81 · 15/01/2020 20:19

I read a tip once where the child is given 3 get out of bed cards each night. Every time they get out of bed to tell you something, have a drink, use the toilet etc they use up a card. When all the cards are gone they have to stay in bed and can't get out until morning.

I haven't tried it yet as my daughter is still in a cot (yeah!), but I am keeping it in mind for when she is older.

reefedsail · 15/01/2020 20:26

Could you do the supernanny 'lead him back to his bed without any eye contact or saying a word' thing until he gets the message?

You could do 2 get out of bed cards, then start on the supernanny.

flouncyfanny · 15/01/2020 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frlrlrubert · 15/01/2020 21:03

Beyond 'do you need the toilet?' I just repeat 'bed' and point/herd her back in. I do tend to raise my voice the third time.

She's 3.

ActualHornist · 15/01/2020 21:05

Honestly I just yell to get back to bed if they’re blatantly trying it on.

Or a ‘that’s great, now bed’ if I’m feeling especially serene Grin

TyneTeas · 15/01/2020 21:08

I was once woken up in the night by my (then) toddler because...

"I can't remember the words to the song I'm singing in my head"

foobio · 15/01/2020 21:13

My 3yo woke me to tell me she had a good dream Hmm

WinifredTorrance · 15/01/2020 21:14

Tonight my five year old had to get up to tell me that he “feels like he’s spinning around in his bed”. I think it might be because he made me spin him faster and faster on the roundabout at the park after school until he couldn’t stand up.

TheBigFatMermaid · 15/01/2020 21:14

I wouldn't be able to resist the joke, but I'm pretty shit at bedtime discipline!

snowballer · 15/01/2020 21:18

No one has a longer to-do list than a child at bedtime...

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 15/01/2020 21:27

I used to shout "if you are not coming down to use the bathroom there will be trouble...." bathroom was in the middle floor, children were on the top floor, they would clatter about in the bathroom and take themselves back to bed ...a half and half victory for the both of us. Hmm

A repeat offence would be met only with the question "...is your bed on fire???" A sort of family joke after a long bedtime discussion with DS1 over why getting out of bed continually was Not Allowed

but what if I need a drink?...you have water right there
what if I hear the cats fighting?...son, that is not your business
what if I need a wee?...you already went
what if I am too tired to read?...close your eyes child and wait till you are not tired any more
what if my bed is ON FIRE? ....well then you can come all the way down to tell me and we'll call the fire brigade and if it is not then you had better get back in it.

Original poster
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 15/01/2020 21:47

You’re all making me laugh with these stories! Grin

He is 10. Far too old for this shit. (So am I!) cards and supernanny technique wouldn’t win with him I’m afraid. For full disclosure he is on the waiting list for ADHD assessment. I also suspect he has PDA but ASD assessment has happened and says he isn’t on the spectrum. He’s unpredictable. Some nights he will just go to bed no problem. Maybe just come down for a drink. Other nights his head is buzzing and he has to do Lego or tell me this story or ask something about granddad or he forgot to give the cat a kiss Hmm and any refusal of this from me results in a kick off from him. I’m thinking I need to go back to basics and do a night time checklist for him; toilet, drink, kissed all the pets, homework in bag, uniform ready etc to maybe help his mind settle so he knows subconsciously that he is ready for bed. He came down again tonight for the toilet and then for another drink and when I firmly said “bed!” He got aggressive (normal for him when challenged but massively improved from a couple of years ago) which means a consequence. I feel like shit now because he’s getting a consequence just for coming down for a drink. (It’s for his aggression really but it started with the drink) It sounds so silly.

OP posts:
Original poster
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 15/01/2020 21:51

We do have a good bedtime routine BTW. Dinner, then he fills the dishwasher, has some free time to play games or read or Lego etc then bath, supper, half an hour reading time from 7:30-8:00. It’s after 8:00 he starts needing to come down.

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 15/01/2020 21:54

My ds then 4 woke me in the middle of the night to tell me " mummy I wanted to let you know you're beautiful when you're sleeping so I got up to tell you".

Last week (hes 7 now) he came downstairs because he wanted a drink and also to ask DP to explain the meaning of infinity!

ravensoaponarope · 15/01/2020 21:58

Can you give him a notepad and pen by the bed and tell him everything he wants to say he can write down and tell you in the morning?

dodgynoodles · 15/01/2020 22:03

Ahhh do you know what? Just enjoy it. He wants to interact with you. In a few years he’ll want to have more privacy and not want to chat so much. 10 year olds are great fun and the time goes so quickly!

(Sorry I’m nostalgic and no practical help at all!)

Original poster
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 15/01/2020 22:08

Yes raven that’s a good idea.

I know dodgy Sad I have a teenager too and he lives in his room. I feel bad, and I very much do enjoy DS, he’s lots of fun but he really struggles to get up in the morning without a good nights sleep which for him is the fine line between a good day and making a run for it with my car keys. Mornings are a real walking on eggshells operation. So getting him to sleep at a decent time really matters.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 15/01/2020 22:15

Is eight a bit early for him? Does he need a bit more wearing out before bedtime? Would a longer tucking in and chat time help?

DS1 didn’t like to read so I read to him until he was 12 and finally got into reading himself. We’ve always done quite lengthy bedtimes and been very lucky to never have any of them getting up.

MrsTidyHouse · 15/01/2020 22:27

What is he reading? Is it possible that it’s giving him too much stimulation? And half an hour’s reading right before bedtime is quite long. Ours tend to read for longer times downstairs and earlier in the evening, and later a short familiar story from me before the bedtime routine. Also singing a song and stroking head in the dark when they’re tucked up helps them to completely relax. Ages 9 and 10.

JellyTeapot · 15/01/2020 22:44

I have no helpful advice (DS came downstairs just as I opened your thread to tell us he has a wobbly tooth and he needs a drink and what Pokemon is this and and and...) but just wanted to offer solidarity. I strongly suspect he has ASD with PDA but we're still in the process of getting him assessed. He's rarely asleep before 11 and we're all suffering Sad

RiaOverTheRainbow · 15/01/2020 22:53

If he's regularly getting up for a drink can he have a water bottle in his room?

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