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counsellor too spiritual

13 replies

absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 13:12

I was going through a tough patch at the start of last year because of a perfect storm of bad sleep deprivation, money worries, grieving for my mum, feeling that the religion I had been a part of for years was actually just a money obsessed cult blah blah. My GP referred me for 6 NHS counselling sessions.

Fast forward nearly a year and I am in a much better place and I've resolved most of the things that were contributing to my unhappiness.
I thought that I might as well go along to the sessions because they might help.

The counsellor spoke in a very slow voice (the kind I came across a lot in the religion I was involved in because everyone meditated and wanted to show an outward appearance of being calm and peaceful)

Then, I noticed loads of crystals on her desk. I am very averse to crystals because I had an awful experience working as a nanny for a family who owned a crystal therapies business and they were always waving them around me and being generally weird and over my boundaries.

She also said she works on energies and asked how I felt about that. I told her that I don't like the vagueness of the word energy because in hippy circles Ive seen this claimed initiation being used for bad purposes (e.g. people accusing others of having bad/ negative energy) to establish themselves as superior to others. I said it's not scientific enough and that how I interpret her picking up on my "energy" is just her reading my body language and hearing what Im saying and referring to her previous experiences which in turn gives her a feeling.

ANYWAY. I think after everything, I think she and I aren't going to be a good fit.

At one point i was telling her about something traumatic that had happened to me and I was distracted by the fact that she held her hands together in a praying position and brought them to her chest, then she said she had goose bumps.

I'm just disappointed that I've waited on a waiting list for counselling and now after nearly a year, I have this woman who seemed perfectly nice but err not for me.

OP posts:
absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 13:13

intuition **

OP posts:
FordPrefect42 · 15/01/2020 13:15

Nah, I’d be inclined to agree with you there, crystals and energy aren’t exactly endorsed by the NHS so God knows why she’s in that profession. Wouldn’t be my fit either, and the fact she technically ignored you when you were talking about something important speaks volumes. Here’s hoping you get someone with more of a logical, science-based approach next time? Flowers

SagaBauer · 15/01/2020 13:19

Ask for a new counsellor, I don't think you are going to gain much from having sessions with this one if she makes you feel uncomfortable. I know it's NHS but there must be a way of requesting sessions with someone else? I don't think I would feel comfortable with someone discussing their spiritual beliefs in my counselling sessions, as the sessions aren't about them it's about you (the client)

rosieposies · 15/01/2020 13:19

Oh blimey OP. I'd find this very odd, even without those past experiences. If you don't feel that you can bring it up with this counsellor then you're well within your rights to ask for a different one. It just may mean waiting for another one I'm not sure.

I had a really weird mental health nurse who used to come and visit me after I had my daughter, she made me sooooo uncomfortable and I ended up phoning and asking for a different one, something that I found extremely hard to do as a seasoned people pleaser. They were really nice about it and I had a really lovely replacement.

Karmagician · 15/01/2020 13:32

Counselling is so much about finding the right 'fit' for you - absolutely ask to change if you don't feel that you can work with this person. I find it a bit odd that she is working with through the NHS actually - so much of what they offer is CBT, which couldn't be further from this! Good luck! If you have to wait again, you could take a look around your local area to see if anyone offers some low-cost counselling independently?

absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 15:29

Thanks all.
Another odd thing was that I had 6:30 written on my calendar as the start time of my appointment and she finally called fit me at 7:10 when I first got in I asked what time the appointment was supposed to be she said 7pm and then Looked at her clock that read 7:10 and then changed her first response by saying 7:10, it must have either been 7 or 7:10 it can’t have been both 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 15:29

For**

OP posts:
Luckystar777 · 15/01/2020 15:34

You can ask for someone else, usually.

VanGoghsDog · 15/01/2020 15:35

Oh, I had an introductory session with one who was like that once. Kept wafting her hands around, sat barefoot and was saying she could feel that I'd had a lot of trauma in my life Didn't go back. But it was private so I just found a different one.

jellycatspyjamas · 15/01/2020 15:52

That all doesn’t sound ok, her being late alone would make me question wanting to see her - the crystals alone wouldn’t bother me but the rest would.

howdoesthisworkagain · 15/01/2020 16:25

Doesn't sound great, I'd definitely ask for someone else.

I ended some counselling with someone once whose approach didn't fit and glad I did.

absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 16:39

Thanks all, I just text and ended it!

OP posts:
LolalolaLola · 15/01/2020 17:59

yeah op, I'd be out too.

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