Coping with life

[MsMarvel]

Does anyone ever feel that they are struggling to keep their head above water, but that its for dealing with things that should be easy?

Always suspected i had low level anxiety (didnt go to my grad ball, decided on the night that i couldnt face it, bought ticket dress etc but just didnt go, and various other things like that where it all got a bit much and i had to step back and recharge.

It always seems to come in waves, it builds and builds and builds, peaks amd i crash and have to recharge. But all generally manageable within everyday life. I just figure an element of this is normal and part of being an adult.

In a stressful situation right now which i am dealing with, and to a certain extent coping, but finding that im really struggling to keep up with the 'normal' things i should be doing as well. For example, theres a massive pile of dirty dishes at the sink, the thought of doing them makes me anxious to the point where i just close the door of the kitchen, out of sight, out of mind.

But it seems so stupid if i were to try and explain to someone that this slightly stressful situation (but should be manageable) is making me unable to wash the dishes. Work is also a struggle, vut really really puahing through because although i have an understanding boss, i would just feel so stupid trying to explain to someone how im feeling. Its like an overwhelming expectation that im putting on myself to be 'fine' but then i start to think well maybe this is what fine is, and its just normal adult stuff that people have to deal with.

The stressful situation im in involves caring for someone unwell (but will get better so not long term hopefuly) so theres also the pressure that i cant have my 'crash' to then recharge, because i need to be the strong one.

Does anyone else get like this?

Dont even know if any of that makes sense, it all sounds so trivial, and i think sould be a massive surprise to people in my life if they thought i was feeling like this. Im quite good at hiding it i think.

I totally get how you are feeling. I'm sorry I have no advice really. Just wanted to let you know it's not just you.

I feel just like that too. It’s so draining!

You're doing well to recognise the patterns, the ups and downs and learning about yourself, so that's a good start. Everyone is different, and things affect people in different ways. There's not necessarily a right or wrong way, it's about being comfortable in yourself. So, you're having to be strong for someone else at the moment, which I think in turn will make you stronger. It doesn't really matter if the washing up isn't done, but sometimes not doing things is a sign of depression, or do you think it's solely an anxiety issue?

Depression is also a possibility, it runs very strongly in my family. But ive always been the one thats 'fine' and i dont really feel sad, just feeling like im not coping, but maybe you dont neccessarily feel sad if youre depressed?

Its like im detached from myself atm, watching myself going through the motions and judging myself for not doing it all as well as i should.

Each day i tell myself that im going to get the dishes done. But then i get home and actually feel sick at the thought of going into the kitchen and doing them, so i dont. The state of the house is getting me down because i feel like it should be easy to stay on top of. Theres no kids so its just me and dp, who is not well.

People often talk about baby steps, and I really think it works, otherwise trying to tackle everything in one go is so overwhelming, one can't get anywhere. If your partner's unwell I assume you have to wash up? For what it's worth I hate washing up and have to do all of it. I just make myself do it, and say to myself it won't always be like this, and that's what keeps me going. Does your partner usually do it, but can't at the moment?

I have had this and found antidepressants and CBT very helpful, so it's worth a trip to your GP. I think I had low level anxiety for years and just didn't realise.