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Original poster

Would you allow your DC to move to a college 160 milesaway?

64 replies

hannabarbera · 14/01/2020 08:48

My DC will be 16 yrs and 8 months in September. And has had an invite to attend a college to do a specific course (A level/Btec level) Said course is tailored for a certain sporty person and at a very high level. And to start with its invite only to attend, open day to suit us, see the sport academy, etc. DC would stay there for the duration as we are over 3 hours away. Ee would have to pay for accommodation but funding in place for daily travel etc.

DC is keen and so are we, we are going there to see the place in the next few weeks. Its just a big step! DC has been away for days on end doing a sport and mixing with new likeminded people. Where we live now, DC participates in the sport, but friends don’t and TBH they don’t have much in common.

Of course DC could try it and if it doesn’t work out there is a local college DC can go to do a general sport course but not at a high level.

Im fretting, wanting DC to have a fab opportunity,....

OP posts:
Original poster
hannabarbera · 14/01/2020 11:20

We are aware of that too. This course also includes coaching, therefore can cover more than the playing. Plus a step on the ladder for university.

OP posts:
LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 14/01/2020 11:24

I would, yes. I’d find it bloody hard though! You get yourself geared up for them to leave at 18 don’t you?

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 14/01/2020 11:29

I'd say yes definitely but like pp I'd want to make sure re accommodation etc. Will DC be living on site or alone in private digs? Are they the sort who can fend for themselves? Go shopping, cook etc on their own or is it more supported than that? Once I was happy with practicalities I'd go for it!

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General education
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 14/01/2020 11:30

Sorry missed your post re host family. Then yes!!!

RevIMJolly · 14/01/2020 11:31

Absolutely.

Loads of kids who are gifted in particular areas do this, and some even do it from a much younger age , especially for music and dance.

That’s not to even touch upon kids that board because they have the opportunity to go to a school which would be great for them.

If you want specific advice, pop over to the boarding threads and you will find lots of experienced parents.

Mumtown · 14/01/2020 11:36

I think it really depends on the sport and your child’s ability. If it’s something like rowing that could lead to a free ride at an Ivy I’d got for it but if your child isn’t going to be one of the best of it’s a sport like football or something which doesn’t have much in terms of opportunities a more rounded education would be wise.

LIZS · 14/01/2020 11:40

What is the completion rate for the course. Do many drop out ( due to injury, attitude, commitment) ? Does it have strong progression and successful alumnae in the field? How independent and motivated is your dc?

Original poster
hannabarbera · 14/01/2020 11:42

DC has already participated at a National level therefore ability is high.

OP posts:
puptent · 14/01/2020 11:46

I also agree about what sport it is and the qualification it would lead to.

For e.g., DS got fantastic A levels at a (regular!) school and then chose a uni that specialised in his sport (among lots of other sports, you can prob guess which uni). Anyway, there he got excellent coaching and playing and all the opportunities to become a qualified coach/ref/umpire/for free alongside a top class degree.

So what I'm saying is, be sure the academic side is as good as the sport side so he has more choices when he's 18.

Dowser · 14/01/2020 12:09

Yes definitely
Fabulous opportunity

Sparklingplasters · 14/01/2020 13:08

My DH did similar, his teacher saw a talent in him (not sport btw) and sought out a place on the best course, in the best college that was the other side of the country.

He is 50 this year and is genuinely still really grateful for the opportunity. He is one of the top people in his field in the UK.

senua · 14/01/2020 13:12

DC has already participated at a National level therefore ability is high.
Sorry to be cynical but that probably applies to most other applicants, too. The further up the system you go, the more you realise how vanishingly-thin chances of success are.

I think maybe give it a go as long as you have a fallback position. Lots of DC start out at one sixth form place, realise that it was wrong and re-start somewhere else next year with no worries. I believe problems start after that because you are then outside of the normal funding systems for KS5 (I believe that it stops at age 19, but don't take my word for it). So DC could afford to risk trying it out as long as you (the family) have a proper, hard-headed assessment of the situation at the end of Year 1.

scaryteacher · 14/01/2020 13:16

Ds went back to the UK for sixth form, so bit more than 160 miles away!! My dn, at 18, went to college for a BTec, and lived with a host family. He is 22 now, and has only just moved out, as he stayed there when he got a job. His parents were in the Middle East and then Europe, so again, quite far away.

It's a bridge between home and uni, and it can work very well.

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 13:21

Yes I would. In the end dd chose a college that is only 45 miles away but we would have allowed her to go to any she wanted to (and got funding for).

She is studying 2 A levels alongside a professional Level 6 diploma that can be topped up to a dull degree if she wishes. She lives with a host family and is in college every day from at least 8.30am - 6pm.

Original poster
hannabarbera · 14/01/2020 13:22

@senua i mean capped 6 times. Representing the country 6 times.

OP posts:
berlinbabylon · 14/01/2020 13:27

I think the host family part would worry me more than if it were on-site accommodation. The personal relationships matter when a host family, and if you don't get on, it can get very miserable.

My son also plays sport at a high level but he is doing a sports course alongside his A levels, which will give him a level 3 diploma at the end. It's done via weekend workshops every so often. I think I prefer that approach.

But if your ds is happy with it and wants to do it, I wouldn't, in your shoes, stand in his way.

berlinbabylon · 14/01/2020 13:28

Near Winchester there is Sparsholt college where a lot of the students weekly board for agricultural/equine/forestry type studies, among others.

Whatagoodidea · 14/01/2020 13:31

I would allow otherwise you are laying yourself to years of you stopped me going and ruined my life. DC can always come home if it doesn't work out.

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 13:33

I think the host family part would worry me more than if it were on-site accommodation. The personal relationships matter when a host family, and if you don't get on, it can get very miserable.

These are questions the OP can ask. At dd's college the host families are vetted and given a list of expectations (meals, lifts, who is allowed to drive the student, what the family is expected to provide but the student and parents are expected to make the actual arrangments in that we were given a list of hosts with vacancies, visited, chatted and then decided who to go with) There are sometimes difficulties and the college will intervene, (our dd had problems because her host family said she kept her room too untidy/food up there etc) and if something isn't working, then the student can always move.

At some colleges the students are allocated families and I would be a little more wary of that.

senua · 14/01/2020 14:06

I wouldn't, in your shoes, stand in his way.
I would allow otherwise you are laying yourself to years of you stopped me going and ruined my life.
You have to be the adult here and not cave in to pester power.
Flip it: ask DC to prove to you that it's a good idea. Set up the (measurable) goals that will be reviewed at the end of Year 1.

Everyone is dead keen at the beginning, full of hope and optimism. That's the easy bit.

KellyHall · 14/01/2020 14:10

I moved that far away when I was that age, I worked in a cafe and an old people's home to pay my rent and bills.

It seems like too good an opportunity to not at least give it a go.

okiedokieme · 14/01/2020 14:16

Dd boarded from 16 at a specialist 6th form, loved it, made transfer to university easier too as she was already independent. But the school did provide pastoral care, and the accommodation was a half way house between boarding school and university halls

KnittingSister · 14/01/2020 14:16

So this is an established course with established processes for looking after the young people and with a good range of prospects on completion. And DC is keen to go.

I'd say go for it, good luck!

My DS went away to college age 17, college had no process in place for students away from home and it wasn't great, but it was his best opportunity at the time and worked out well in the end.

MarjoryMinor · 14/01/2020 14:21

Would he be doing academic subjects alongside the sport? If it is a contact sport like rugby I would be asking what happens if he gets an injury? Does he have to leave the course or can he continue if unable to play?

Original poster
hannabarbera · 14/01/2020 14:29

The course includes H&S, sport science, nutrition, sport psychology, anatomy & physiology, coaching etc. Its just not playing but it does involve a lot of playing. Plus some international travelling to Europe.

OP posts:
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