Talk to me about your Year 7 child and social media

[ShirazSavedMySanity]

DD is 11, almost 12. She started high school last September, has had a phone since her 11th birthday.

She is on no social media whatsoever. We’ve explained our reasons to her, including the fact she isn’t even old enough for the minimum age.

However, the majority of her friends have some form of social media and I do understand her wanting to join in / missing out etc.

What do your children use?
Have they had any problems / issues?
How can I protect her yet let her find her own way etc?

I use FB & IG, but have limited knowledge of Snapchat and TikTok.

Private TikTok - i also opened my own account and she has had to friend me so I can spy on her at all times. All of her friends have private accounts too. She's not allowed to follow or be followed by anyone she doesn't know.

Also what's app - I really don't see the problem with WhatsApp.

My DD was 12 and in year 7 when she got her first phone. She is now 13 and has whatsapp , Instagram and has just got Tiktok which are also private accounts. We as yet have had minimal issues and she is pretty sensible about sm.

She also recently made an open Tiktok account for the dog. She makes more videos of the dog than herself and spends hours coaxing him with treats so he does 'tricks'.
In reality she hand feeds him tasty things whilst he lays there looking
at her with his big fuck off I'm bored eyes thinking life is just grand.

My 13 and half year old has finally been allowed Instagram this week. She knows to keep it private, and not accept any people she doesn't know. She is only allowed that and WhatsApp.
I don't understand why so many parents allow kids social media so young.

Like itsallabout my dd has an open account for the pets and a private personal account on tictok.
She and her brother have messaging apps for their friends and family.

She spends hours getting the pets to do tricks, they enjoy the eating treats part of this.

Mines nearly 13. No social media, it's the hill I'm prepared to die on. I personally don't believe growing brains need the extra stimulus and is the cause of increased anxiety and depression in young people. I'd much prefer he be mad at me.

Social media safety and over sharing are topics in Y7 computer science. The important issues are teaching children to use social media safely and responsibly. Most year 7 have some form of social media - discuss it with your child and use online resources together (BBC bitesize is good). I suspect boundaries around safe use would be more effective than age bans.

My Y7 dd has no social media, no WhatsApp (because the age rating is 16, and it gives anyone in any random group to which she’s invited access to her name and number) and no ability to access the internet except via home and school wifi (where there are strict controls).

We set it up so she can’t download an app without permission from a parent, and she has screentime that is limited in terms of when and for how long (via parental controls) except for things like texting / calling which she might need to do in an emergency.

Most of her friends have far more access to the internet and SM, but some do just have brick phones, so she doesn’t stand out.

My 10 yr old DS has a TikTok account but it’s under lock and key. He loves creating videos so I think it’s a positive thing in some respects. I might have the next Steven Spielberg on my hands .

His account is restricted and private. No one can see his videos, follow or private message him. He can watch others videos with restricted mode on it does filter some of the stuff you wouldn’t want them to see but some bad language sneaks through.

I would rather Whatsapp over Snapchat as messages disappear from Snapchat so you can’t check appropriateness.

My y7 has WhatsApp but is only allowed to use it to message message family members and for the class WhatsApp group (which is monitored by his head of year). He’s just not interested in social media though.

My older son was only allowed Instagram when he reached y9 and isn’t allowed anything else (but now appreciates that he’s better off not having snapchat, Tiktok etc when he sees the fallout amongst friends who do). He knows that I will do random spot checks of his phone once in a while too.

DS is yr 8 - has a phone but n social media yet.
Only has whats app to message people and that's it.
Definitely no FB, IG, Snapchat etc yet!!
I'm with the poster that says the longer you can hold off the better

Sorry if I’m repeating, I haven’t read the entire post.

My eldest daughter is now in Y8 and my 2nd going into year 7, both given a phone for the Christmas ahead of starting secondary but we were very naive the 1st time resulting in major problems for DD1 and a hellish year for us as parents, needless to say we have done things completely different the 2nd time around.

Do consider what your child will have access to with the various social media platforms explicit language, sexual images, descriptions of disorders, pictures of self harm, eating disorders, sexualisation of young teens, the list goes on. Think about whether or not they that have the maturity to deal and process it. My DD1 didn’t.

Be careful of Instant messaging, WhatsApp included and the effect it has on your child’s mental health, it was only through taking my DD’s phone off her for bad behaviour and having it buzzing constantly on the side for 15 minutes that I realised how damaging it could potentially be.

Friend 1 “Hi”
Friend 2 “Did you tell friend A that I had fallen out with her?”
Friend 3 “Have you down the French homework?”
Friend 1 “why are you ignoring me”
Friend 3 because I’m half way through and I’m stuck
Friend 2 because I didn’t say that and now she won’t speak to me
Friend 5 “What are you up to”
Friend 1 “I know you have seen this message”

15 minutes was all I could take without getting twitchy and overwhelmed but my DD was listening and reading to hours and hours of it....

I don’t know about anyone else here but I waved bye to the majority of my friends at 1600 on an average school day and didn’t see them till 0900 the next morning. I had space and time to breath and process, teen drama was forgotten with a huge mug of tea and a chat with my mum and usually went to my bed and woke up the next again day feeling lighter and refreshed.

That was a light bulb moment for me and though I’d already banned a lot of the harmful apps and social media platforms from then on in I was/am a lot stricter with her usage which I have found and resulted in a much more positive and happy child.

Gamerchick do you really believe sm over stimulates the brain and that's bad? Partic given your user name!

Mine didn't have it at that age. They now use what's app which they use simply for chat. They have group chats with friends and family. We keep an eye on level of phone use and moods.

They also use Discord for this and gaming chat as well but I am aware of all the servers they are on.

Both girls now have Instagram at age 13+ but their accounts are all locked down. They both use it for following celebrities and reading memes. I follow them both so I can see what they post.

They have no other messaging/social